Sunday night Preston just made sure I was comfy and had everything I needed. Monday continued my round the clock care. I guess this was the window of "focusing on my critical care" that my blessing mentioned just a few days ago...
Preston was literally helping every hour bring meds, fluids, anything and everything I needed. All I could do was just lay in bed, I was just so sick. The injection I got on Sunday was also amplifying things and the pain had come on extra heavy, so much that the meds were not helping even.
Monday was spent with my total care. Maybe Preston can add updates to this post since I really cant remember much of anything.
Tuesday I had already been scheduled for more fluids/meds at the ambulatory center. It was good that I had that appt still. I was still not managing the pain very well, and extra fluids were helpful. I know it took lots of extra patience on Preston's part as I was extra grumpy before we left, esp about what I was wearing. Seems when I get extra worn out that those little things become a big deal. I am sure he just didnt even know what to do with me...
Once we were down at the hospital they were able to get me right in and all settled. It was quiet and since it was just me (preston needed to run errands) they put me in the "closet" - I remember feeling a bit stressed and claustrophobic. It is just a regular room, but smaller than the others. Plus I didnt have any of my nurses on the floor, which usually helps when I am feeling so yuck. My nurse was very nice, but I just remember feeling very alone, and was glad when Preston returned to take me back home.
Most of yesterday was spent in bed. Was so thankful to Jill for coming, again, to help care for kiddos since Preston had to be gone overnight. She has been such an angel and it was a blessing to know that kiddos were all ok even though I was still totally down. By the time she headed home and Kaeli had helped get everyone settled I had managed to at least get to the bathroom by myself. It seems strange that something so insignificant really is such a big deal. I knew I would be ok for the night to get help even knowing Preston was away.
Last night was extra rough. Not much sleep at all. Found that when I did fall asleep that I woke up completely disoriented. Really struggled with brain working right. Spent most of today just resting. Have been up some, though I have found that a little bit is sometimes too much. Just sitting at the desk or trying to help Ky with a snack has left me extra wobbly and short of breath, and with my brain in a fog.
Hoping that with Preston home tonight things will be better. Will just keep trying to listen to my body and do what it tells me, even if that is resting more than not these next few days. The comfort through all of this, and in the blessing that Preston gave me, is that this really is the last set of things with chemo. Everything from here will be challenging in its own ways, but hopefully I will spend the coming days and weeks regaining some health and strength so that I can be ready to take on tests and surgery and remaining treatments. Just trying to take one minute, one hour at a time, just trying to move forward, even if it is taking baby steps.
Even baby steps are going the right direction....Will post more soon
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