I JUST DONT GET IT.....

Much has happened in the world and in our lives this last week. Celebrities died, nations continue to fall to pieces, and our personal choices have been taken from us.

Farah Fawcett died this week. She spent her career and her life doing good things and battled fiercely in recent months with a fatal disease which finally took her life. She stayed faithful to the same man for 20+years and they raised a beautiful family togther. The only mention she has received in the news is that she passed away and when her funeral will be....nothing more....because.....

Michael Jackson also died on the same day. A man who spent his life pursuing vanity, excessiveness, and immoral and illegal behavior. It is most likely true that his death was caused by his own actions, and yet he has received the accolades of the world and sometihng about him in the news EVERY day.....

It reminds me of a similar situation more than a decade ago when Mother Teresa and Princess Diana also died on the same day. Only brief mention was made about Mother Teresa - a woman who lived a humble life with only 2 goals in her mind and heart - loving and serving people throughout the world, doing the work of the Savior. When she died, that was all that was said about her. Only those who knew the kindness of her love and service truly mourned her loss...

Princess Diana lived a life misusing the wealth and prominence given her and was constantly in the news because of inappropriate dress and even more inappropriate behaviors, resulting in the breakup of her marriage and eventually ending her life. Yet she was in the news not only for days, but WEEKS, with the whole world mourning her and praising her.

Political unrest continues on the other side of the world because the voice of the people is ignored and even snuffed out by wicked leaders who only have harmful, and even deadly intentions. The world turns to hate and destruction and upholds these things vs trying to give help, support, and make good choices for the benefit of others....

This last week we have been part of an ongoing battle to win the rights (that should already be ours) of families throughout the state to have the choice to send our children to school where WE choose. Yet the dark influence of people who care only about greed, pride and selfishness has wielded its power in our state government and has worked (and succeeded) in irreparably damaging the chance/rights of thousands of children and families throughout the state by taking this right/choice from us. Because of wicked leaders, our children will suffer the ill consequences of the choices they have made for and about us, never once blinking an eye that it is beyond the wrong thing to do. While they twiddle around in their committees, and "buy" each other off by wheedling "deals", and put the schools on hold or close them completely, our children must move forward, unfortunately in less than desirable circumstances and schools that already do not, and will not, ever meet their individual needs. Dollar signs in pocketbooks, and politics are put before the needs of our most precious treasures - our children.

How do I continue to be in battle mode, both here in our local area and at the state level, only to be totally blown off, knowing that my one small voice has not (and prob will still not) made one bit of difference. Knowing that no matter what I do, what I say, no matter how hard I fight, that someone else who does not know or care about me or my children, will wield more power to make decicisons about my children and my family that will do harm rather than good, and it will leave me helples to fight it.

I have been in battle mode all this last year with our local school district board, teachers and administrators. This last week at the state level I felt defeated before I could even say or do anything. I am beyond weary in continuing to wage a "war" that only seems as if I lose more ground and more hope and more help for my children. I still struggle every day to just find the physical strength to get up in the morning and try to do something positive for myself or our family, let alone have to put on my "armor" to fight the bad guys too. I dont do it well, my emotions always get the better of me, no matter where I am, no matter what I try to say. My tears betray me every time, and show my weakness. I do not have the faith to hope for good to prevail, or for miracles to happen - esp in our schools, esp in our government.

The wicked powers that be have reared their ugly heads again and again - and seem to be winning.
When do the good guys get a break? When do the voices of the good people get listed to and heard? When will right prevail?

I know that this is just the beginning, that wickedness will continue to grow, and will seem to prevail before light and right will win. I just dont know if I can weather the storms that are to come. I am not sure I will have either the physical or the spiritual strength it will take to help myself or my children. I know that I am nothing, that I can do nothing, but I do not have the strength or faith or trust to let go enough to put everything in the hands of those who do have these things or beyond. I am fearful of what the future may hold, that I will be left to drift, alone, through the things that are to come. I often still feel that I am alone now, that I say too much or not enough, that I am not listened to or heard, that my efforts do not and never will make any difference, esp to those who mean the most to me. That eventually I really will be left alone, I will be replaced, because I am fat, and ugly, broken, useless, worthless.

Today the weight of darkness crushes me, as it has for so many months now, and esp this last week with so much energy expended in a seemingly losing battle. Even though the sun is shining and the sky is blue, I feel detached, trapped inside a glass ball that keeps everything out and yet is so fragile it could shatter at any moment and take me with it. Today the weight of the world is heavy on my mind and heart. Today I feel miniscule and insignificant. Today I feel that I truly just do not understand how others can make conscious choices to purposely inflict harm on others, to do lifelong damage without even blinking an eye. I dont understand how my own small, insignificant voice or choices can ever win for good or can ever make a difference. I just dont understand.

SLC -DAY 5

Today we did only two major things: the yard sale and the show.

For the yard sale, we got up at 6am to start moving stuff to the place where we were having the garage sale. We didn't have it at Gma's house. So, we had 3 whole clothes racks, about a dozen garbage bags, and 4 tables of clothes. I mean, there was a lot! Tons and tons and tons! We had 2 tables of toys and things, some furniture, a handful of cabinets, and about a dozen tables of other things as well. I am not exactly sure on the rest, because I was helping with the clothes and treats. I helped by getting everything out of the bags, and putting them on tables and clothes racks. That took a long time, but it was fun to sort everything out. I found a BYU t-shirt (I finally have one!) that is a little bit big, but I think it will be awesome. Gma also gave me a nice dress shirt that will go good with jeans, or tans and browns. After I finally dinished all the clothes, I went over to help man the snacks table. We sold Brittney's peanut butter bars, our choc chip cookies, Cosco muffins, some other homemade muffins, Famous Amos cookies (those didn't sell well), soda, lemonade, and water. The Cosco muffins sold well. We sold them for a buck each! Just thought you would want to know...Anyway, the sale went from 9am-3pm. It was supposed to end at 1, but people kept trickling in. People also came around &am too. Wow! We were out there for a long time! Around 2:30, we had knocked all the prices down a bunch, and Brittney had to leave, so I got to be in charge of the cash box, and helping people buy stuff. I like doing that sort of thing.
All of this was to raise money for a concert that the A Mother's Arms/Mothers Without Borders is putting on, with children from 17 different countries singing, I think. This is to help raise money for orphaned kids in Africa. Sadly, we won't be here to go to the concert.
Don't know if I already put this up, but here...

http://www.motherswithoutborders.org/

It's a really great cause!

At 6pm, Gma, Gpa, Charisse, and I went to Hello, Dolly at the Hale Theater. We also met Uncle Steve and Aunt Kris, Uncle Dick and his date, and Aunt Jenee there. It was amazing! The actors were really good, and I even recognized one of them from the concert I went to the first day! I recognized some of the songs, and it was really cool to see how it all turned out in the end. It is something that I think would be a good thing to come and see when our family comes up! It goes until August 1st, and it is a really good show. I had a lot of fun. The sets and flowers were wonderful! Until then...

That was my day :) Missing you!
Happy Sammich

SLC- DAY 4

Today was the big prep day, last minute things for the big yard sale tomorrow! We are going to get up at 5:30 (yes, I know what time it is right now, 10:16 MST) and start setting up tables. We (Gma and I) made chocolate chip cookies to sell tomorrow, and Aunt Brittney made peanut butter bars, and she brought them over too. We put them in little bags, and tied them with ribbon. Later that morning we went over to the church and got tables from the cultural hall, and dropped them off at one of Gma's neighbor's house. After we came back, I played on the Wii Fit for 45min. It was a lot of fun! At 3:30 Aunt Jaclyn picked me up to do some shopping! Yes, more shopping! We found some more cute stuff, including a new sunday church outfit for EFY. I will have to do a fashion show and show you some stuff, with my pics. It took us another good 3 hours! It was good time that I spent with her. Thanks Aunt Jaclyn! Afterwards, around 7, we met Uncle Bart for dinner at Bonsai restaurant. Its like Mongolian Grill, only with Japanese food. (No, I didn't get sushi) I got teryaki chicken. It also came with vegetables and fried rice! He cooked it all right in front of us. We were only a table width away, which is even closer than you get at Mongolian Grill. It was soooo stinkin' good! We stuffed ourselves, and it didn't even seem like we ate that much. Well, maybe we did. I don't know. ANYWAY, while the guy was cooking it, he was doing all kinds of tricks with his spatulas and knives. he was throwing them in the air, and lighting stuff on fire, it was just awesome. After he cooked our meat, he asked if we wanted to catch a piece of meat in our mouth. There were other people at our table as well, and they had apparently done it before, so they stepped right up and showed us how it was done. After that Bart and I did it with some chicken. I caught it on my first try! It was soooo good! Better than Mongolian Grill, I think.
While all this was happening we got a pretty awesome thunder and lighning storm. There was a lot of black clouds, and lightning too. We watched it while we ate, and we came out of the restaurant right as it was kind of stopping. I went in Bart's truck,(this one's for you JaNay) and there was this HUGE, I MEAN HUGE puddle, it went all the way across the parking lot, and I am sure it would have reached my ankles if I would have stood in it barefoot. W got in his truck, and held on as he "floored" that puddle, and we pretty washed the windshield of his truck. The water went up past his truck. We both just started laughing! It was sooo fun! Then we did it again, just cuz we could. It was amazing!
We came back to Gma ang Gpa's house, and when we got out of his truck, there was a huge, bright semicircle of a rainbow over the mountains. We stood there, and I got some pictures, but I couldn't get the whole thing because it was so big. But it was a triple rainbow. The bright one had another one right underneath it, and then another one above it, a little ways out. It was so beautiful. It made me think about home, and about how Heavenly Father is watching over us. :)
We then came in, and by that time, Neil and Brittney and Ben had come back to the house and we played Twos and Tens. It is a cool card game, and if you don't know how to play it, we will have to teach it to you. Bart ended up winning. Yay!
Well, that concludes my day. Still trying to get pics figured out, maybe tomorrow...
Hope you are all having a wonderful summer! I miss you!
Happy Sammich

SLC- day 3

I'm sorry, I have tried to get pics up and running, but I was having issues, so I promise to have them ASAP.

So today, I helped wash Uncle Bart's big truck. It was fun as we talked, and vacuumed, and sprayed. Afterwards we went to lunch at Arby's, and we talked a little bit about this summer. He had to go to work, which left Grandma and I to work on the signs for our big yard alse we are having on saturday.

We worked a bit on those, taping words where they needed to go, and getting them all organized and finished. For the yard sale, I think it is to help raise money for Mothers Without Borders (http://www.motherswithoutborders.org/). I am going to help by selling muffins, cookies, and things like that. It is going to be so fun!

After that, we went SHOPPING! I was sooooo excited about this today. We got new shirts/blouses, pants/shorts/capris, tank tops, and shoes, and shoes, and shoes! I am sorry, but this was really fun! We found some really cute stuff. I think I will have Gma take pics of me, and I can post some on the blog! It was at least 3 hours, but we had some other errands to do too. But it was mostly for the shopping.

Later Aunt Charisse and Gma took me to a play called Charley's Aunt. It was a really funny comdy-type play, and I was laughing a lot. You should read about it, its really super funny. They have some really good actors. The whole thing was in a British accent.

We have been listening to the music from the Broadway shows Wicked and Les Miserables. The music is awesome. It makes me want to go see them. I mostly recognize some of the songs because the Boyacks sing them a lot. Also, a lot of the ones from Les Miserables were sung at the concert that I went to on Tuesday. Gma has been telling me about the stories that go along wit the music. I love Broadway!

Pics are coming soon...I hope...

Happy Sammich

DISCOURAGED AND DISHEARTENED

We have been in the midst of great turmoil about the kids' education choices in this last week.

Our current legislature has a bill in process that would pretty much close all virtual/charter schools in the state, as early as next spring or when school charters expire.

Today I went to the capitol to be part of a team of teachers, administrators and parents to sit in on a committee hearing. They postponed the meeting, and then convened and dismissed it in about 5 seconds flat - never holding the hearing at all, and not giving info of when it would re-convene.

I was so blown away by what happened (after seeing it done mult times in our current district) that apparently what I was thinking actually came out of my mouth. After the dismissal, the one rep that is fighting against the bill with us invited those of us who had come (many from hours away) to join her to talk and answer ????
As I listened I became even more disheartened, esp when she couldnt/wouldnt answer any direct questions from me. I know that I am very new to this situation, and no nothing about the process or people, but it seemed to be that I was the only one who became emotional about what is happening and what happened today.

The rep who talked to us pretty much seemed to indicate that the chance of the bill being opposed or vetoed was slim to zero. My understanding about what is happening and what looks like will happen is this:
1) The OEA, and other organizations like it are working through the Senate/House to ultimately close ALL virtual/charter schools and homeschool programs and force families back into their own individual district schools
2) If any of the ammendments are approved and passed that they will cap current enrollment of the school we are pursuing as of May 1 - 6 WEEKS ago.
3) School will be held through the next school year, but when the charter expires, a 2 year moratorium could be put on the school to close it for that 2 year time, and most likely forever
4) If by some chance the school is allowed to renew its charter that the enrollment will be allowed to siblings of current students only - no new enrollment will be allowed now or in the future

All of these things, choices made by other people who think they have the right to make decisions for and about my children, will take away our opportunity for the kids to pursue a high quality education, have a valid graduation diploma, or be schooled in a safe, appropriate learning environment where their needs will come before $$$. All these choices by wicked, selfish leaders will leave me to continue in battle mode within our district, to probably still be ignored and watch the children suffer great losses as they have this last year.

I was very emotional at the capitol, and probably didnt give a very good impression, but I dont understand how I can NOT be emotional when it comes to the wellbeing, education and future of my children. I have shed many tears today and continue to as I watch this "too good to be true" opportunity really turn out that way. Preston continues to be strong as he writes more letters and is in contact with the school weblinks and other parents/teachers. I have probably shed enough tears for both of us in the last few days.

I am not sure what the Fall will hold for us. I have been in touch with the kids' principals concerning the changes and the kids' probable placement in classrooms in the district. They have been positive and encouraging, but I often wonder if they are just seeing the dollar signs too....guess we will just have to wait and see. I am so sad to know that most likely instead of looking forward to school starting in August that I, and the kids, will be dreading it. I guess we just wait until then, and see what happens.

Salt Lake Ctiy- Day 2

Today was a little more eventful. Grandma and I got b-fast, and then we went to pick Uncle Neil up from Trax. We talked in the car about Wii Fit, and all the things I hadn't tried at that point in time. When we got back to the house I decided to walk Lizzy, our grandparent's Golden Retriever. I think she is the best dog not counting my dogs. She is a good people dog, and she loves to be around them. Anyway, we went out for a walk, and when I got back, Grandma, Uncle Neil, and I played on the Wii Fit. They showed me a bunch of different things, and I got really good at some of them. I can't wait to show you guys! We were on it for about 45 min. We had lunch and then we went on errands. Just me and Grandma. It was about 102 degrees today, and we had to make a lot of stops. Pics will follow. I'm working on it. One of my fav places that I went today was Young Living, where my Uncle Steve works. It is this whole big company that gets natural oils from all over the world, and they help with different things. It is really cool. Here is a website...
http://www.youngliving.us/index.asp
It was pretty cool we got to go in and smell a bunch of different things.
At 6:00, my grandparent's ward was having a Primary(church, younger kids) party, and the theme was pirates. One guy in the ward had built this pirate ship that he pulled around on his 4-wheeler. I know, I know, I took lots of pics, and they are still on my camera. We even got to ride in it! I helped the other Mia Maids help the younger kids with some crafts and things. When Grandma and I got home, Neil and Brittney and Ben walked in the door, and we decided to sit down and play Hand and Foot. It's a reall cool card game, kind of like Canasta. There are some different rules, but its mostly the same. After we were done (oh, by the way dad, we were just playing for fun, but Neil and Brittney did go out first, but we were safe), we got out the Wii Fit again, and everybody had a turn! Neil and Brittney showed us even more stuff, and it was just great! So, its 11:30 here, and I am going to bed soon.
I am going to a play with Aunt Charisse and Grandma tomorrow, and we are going to do more prep for the HUGE YARD SALE on saturday. The Salt Lake Valley is so pretty at night. So, that was my day, I will try and get pics in tomorrow. Bye for now
Happy Sammich

My first day in SLC

So, I am hoping to get pics on here soon, but not this post. I promise they are coming though!
Dad drove us to the airport, and we stopped for lunch at Wendy's. I flew to Salt Lake City, Utah with Erin Mathews (some of you know her, some of you don't) from Portland at 1:35pm Pacific Time. It was my first time flying that I can actually remember, and it was without family. I have been flying before, but it was when i was really little. Anyway, we flew out, and I tried to take some pics out the window. (coming soon)We landed at 4:20 MST. Grandpa picked me up, with some confusion, but it all worked out in the end. We had to stop over and run some errands, and when we got to my grandparent's house, I was ther for about 30min and my aunt Charisse offered to take me to a concert with her. It was being held in Brigham Young Historic Park (mom, where you took Ben). A bunch of her friends were singing, so we went. There was 10 people, and they each took turns singing songs from Broadway shows. These include Fiddler on the Roof (If I were a rich man), Phantom of the Opera (Wishing you were somehow here again), Wicked (Defying Gravity), The Secret Garden (Lily's Eyes), and others that were really cool. That was awesome.

Then I came home (wow, did I just say that?) and blogged. As you have just finished reading. I promise pics are soming soon!

I love and miss you!
Happy Sammich (aka Ceana)

A FUNNY FIND

The other night Preston and I came home from an activity (about 10pm), hoping to find everyone in bed....except instead we found:

1) Ky face down, flopped across the couch in the TV room, totally zonked

2) Colton face up, flopped on the floor in the TV room, backwards from the TV, totally zonked

3) Kels WIDE AWAKE, sitting in her high chair, in front of the TV that was playing a movie intro over and over...

4) No big girls anywhere to be seen

This was very unexpected because I had already put Kels to bed before we had left and had tried to leave Kaeli in charge since the little boys were going to still be up for awhile (she & ceana both came home exhausted from YW camp - ceana fell asleep early in her room and never moved a muscle even when we checked on her, Kaeli was at least in the same room with the boys)

Preston started to gather up the boys to take them to bed, and I went hunting for the girls. I didnt realize I had walked right past Kaeli in the library until Preston found her there under a blanket.
I tried to wake her and ask her how Kels ended up in the TV room all alone, did she know that Kels was in the TV room all alone? Her half conscious reply was "Well, that shouldn't have happened." and then still more asleep than awake she wobbled her way up the stairs to her room.
Knowing that both the boys, and Kels, were none the worse for wear, I had to laugh at Kaeli's reply. Somewhere in her brain, even being mostly asleep, she knew that Kels needed help. It was funny enough to hear her reply and see her so asleep that I knew she wouldnt remember me talking to her or taking herself upstairs. (A Baxter family gene that all the kids seemed to have inheirited)
It was the little bit of humor I tried to find that prob kept me from crying or becoming too distressed at the "what if's"....all was well, and if there was humor too, that was ok

TENDER MERCIES

This last week has been VERY hard, and filled with much difficulty and tears. In between the tears there have been angels nearby and small glimmers of light. I havent been able to always see them myself, so I am grateful to others who have helped me find them. I wanted to be sure to write them down so I would remember them on days that again may difficult in the future.

1) A loaf of warm, delicious, homemade bread brought "just because" from a sweet new friend

2) Soup & Stew - a blessing of a hot meal in the midst of our chaos

3) 4 hours of uninterrupted time with my husband

4) A daughter willing to babysit during those 4 hours

5) Finding humor in the unexpected (see another post about a recent event)

6) A husband who is kind, PATIENT, forgiving, and never gives up on me

7) A friend who I can sob hysterically in front of

8) A friend who also never gives up on me - esp/even when I am sobbing

9) A box of kleenex left on the floor in the library

10) the opportunity to visit with a far away friend

11) the opportunity to serve that far away friend through lots of baby things

12) Knowing that Ceana wont be flying (for the first time) alone after all

13) Being able to trust in priesthood blessings, esp when they are for the kiddos

14) Being able to let go, even if it is just a little bit, as my daughter leaves for 9 straight weeks

15) Leftovers from wonderful meals that good friends have brought to us in the last couple of weeks

16) Watching the breeze blow the colorful, ruffled tablecloths at a wedding

17) Email & blogs (so we can keep in touch while ceana is gone)

18) A VERY patient, kind pediatrician who has also become a good friend

19) Homemade bracelets and cards from my daughter

20) Sweats & comfy clothes

21) Sunshine & blue skies

YW GIRLS' CAMP - CEANA

Hey! Ceana here. So, girls camp. First, we met at the church to load up all of our stuff. it too 3 whole trucks to transport 9 girls and 3 leaders worth of stuff!

This is the name of the camp that we went to. It is a dedicated place. It is sacred, and it is very easy to feel the Spirit there. Our camp name this year was Camp V.I.R.T.U.E. "Valiant In Righteousness, True Unto Eternity".

This is our certification flag- we were the 3rd years. This was my 3rd year of Girls Camp already! Our color was blue, so we decided to show our spirit in interesting ways. This pic is kind of sideways, but it says "With a Valiant Heart, Nothing is Impossible". That was our camp motto, I guess you could say. We also had all of our girl put their name around the edge, and hand print on the front and back.

This is me and another girl that I met at camp. For flag one morning, in order to earn extra points, our leader decided that we could paint ourselves blue. Some girls had done all the way up their arms, and covered their face, neck, and hands! I just went with a simple one, but I was the only one who wore it on our hike. It was a lot of fun!

This is most of our certification group-go 3rd years!- and some of our SYLs. We just had a blast!

This is just one of the many fun things we did at camp. I decided to post about this one because it was one of the more exciting things we did for certification (I considered it part of certification). :) It was a wonderful experience! Can't wait for next year!

That was my first post! YAY!!!!!

SO RIDICULOUS, IT IS ALMOST FUNNY

Ever have that feeling that all you are doing is running in circles, and that if you add one more thing to the already overflowing plate that you will go crazy?

I think I hit that point today when we were AGAIN at the doctor's office. It is prob about the 10th visit and 10 millionth phone call in the last 6 weeks! I am going to just name the few I can remember/most recent - I know there are prob more that I am forgetting, maybe just as well....

Let me backtrack a little, and you will know what I mean....

Oct - December - everyone had already been struggling with allergies/colds/flu/colton had ruptured another eardrum

December - March- everyone took turns being very sick and missing school because of flu and other viruses that kept kiddos home from school

April - May - colton ruptured BOTH eardrums 1 month apart and spent those weeks on antibiotic eardrops (with us having to literally pin him down to give the drops). Kids developed a virus with a fever that left both Ky and Kels covered in odd rashes. We now know that Kels probably had strep and we didnt know it (symptoms indicated Roseola because there was no vomiting). The girls ended up in the local ER Easter Sunday thinking they both had strep (low grade fevers, swollen glands, sore throats) - when really it was a virus that acted like strep - I didnt understand then why the dr kept asking us about fever/rash/throwing up....I do now

May - June - Colton got a fever/throw up thing - and then 2 days later got an odd rash on the trunk of his body. Two days after that I spent a full 24 hours with ky throwing up and found that 2 days after his fever he was covered in a full body rash. We hadnt been able to get Colton into the dr but did get Ky in that following Mon and I was totally floored when we found out that both the boys had severe strep - no complaints of sore throats at all - but all the other symptoms and throat cultures that definately were positive for strep. We have spent the last almost 10 days with all the kiddos on antibiotics.

Over the weekend Kels had what looked like bug/spider bites. They continued to show up until Sunday I finally called the on call nurse line to try to see what we should do - in the meantime totally freaking out that she has been possibly poisoned by the several spiders we have killed in the house this last week. We had the help nurse totally stumped. The "bites" looked better and so I downshifted my fears and casually brought it up to our regular nurse today when I called about something totally different - only to be told that it was very important to bring Kels in to be looked at because it sounded like something much more serious....

Well, it is - Kels has impetigo - a bacterial infection that has invaded her bloodstream (hence the continued sores on her skin). Is it contagious? - YES, of course it is! Though our dr was much more kind and patient than I was, and it is not serious or life threatening, I was a hysterical mess. I was not ready to take on one more thing and now have to also watch the rest of the kids for any sores. It will mean another 10 days of a more potent antibiotic as well as a topical ointment to try to get in her/on her 2x/day.

I think the thing that blows me away the most is that all the illnesses (but the 2 scheduled well child check ups) have all happened over the weekend - kiddos getting sick and barely making it to the dr on a late friday or having to get in on a Monday. We have literally spent MONTHS with someone sick or in the dr office. I continue to be so amazed that our wonderful dr and the sweet nurses in the office continue to be kind, patient, understanding, and know when to laugh with us even when we prob shouldnt be laughing. They have been so wonderful through every phone call and every office visit, esp on days like today when they squeezed us in because of a last minute concern.
One funny thing today though, as we left our dr told me we were "banned" from coming back to the office for at least a month - and that he hopes we get back on our feet soon. He is so kind, I just dont know what we would ever do without him or the sweet nurses in the office. We will keep our fingers crossed that we have a very uneventful couple of months until Kaeli/Caiden have their birthday check ups in August....here's hoping....wish us luck

BIG FAMILIES: THE TRUTH

This article hit VERY close to home. (I grew up in family of six kids, and now I've got six of my own.) The author lists some "Top Ten" things about big families that were just as true then as they are now. For those who are from, have or know big families, hope you get a laugh out of this one. I sure did.

Preston

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT

Well, photo contest announcement dates have come and gone.....oh well.

Just wanted to say a great big THANK YOU to all of you who took the time to look at and vote on the picts I submitted.

As promised, I did a drawing and picked out 2 names - one for each contest - AND THE WINNERS ARE -

KIM HODSON

JULIE HESS

Congrats. Be sure to let me know which print you might like. You can look back at my MAY ARCHIVES here on the family blog or at my photo blog in any of the FINE ART - or if you have something special in mind I can do for you LMK -k-

Thanx again to everyone for your help and support

LITTLE MISS CUTIE

I have had the chance the last few days to FINALLY get some birthday/1 year picts of Kels. I havent tweaked these at all yet - when I get the time to do some tweaking I will post the finished ones to the photo blog - so watch for those to come.

see what I mean about that foot....she just did not like the grass....

LITTLE MISS CUTIE II

While waiting for Colton's graduation ceremony to start we had some extra time. I had Kaeli help me and I got some fun shots of Kels for her 1year picts - finally

I love this one as it became a consistent shot - her sitting on the grass, pulling at it like she was not sure what to do with it and keeping at least 1 foot in the air - away from the grass. pretty funny

GRADUATION DAY

I took a few minutes with Ceana before her graduation ceremony. She looked so grown up and I just had to try to capture a few moments for her.
These couple of her laughing are because I had her sit on the power box in the front yard. It was the perfect place, but she felt funny sitting on the big green monster box.

It was fun to have some extra time at school too. This is the only spot on the building where the school name is found. It worked great for a pict even though it is kind of far away of her.

The special mixed choir was chosen to sing at graduation. The song they chose talked about moving on and looking forward and still keep memories of where they had been. It was perfect for the graduation ceremony. I got a surprise when I found out that Ceana had a solo in the song. She did a great job and it was fun to see both the girls singing together at school, for probably the last time. I think it was special for both the girls

The other special highlight of the day was that ceana had been chosen, along with 3 other peers, to be valedictorian for their graduating class (about 300 kids). She gave a wonderful talk about continuing to strive for excellence and remembering to just be yourself even when moving forward into such new experiences as high school will present.

I think she will esp remember this experience because it came about in a funny way. Several weeks ago students who would not be graduating were being called down to the principal's office to be made aware of their academic status. Several students in Ceana's classroom had been called down. Suddenly she and another student also were told to report to the principal. She said she was very nervous, wracking her brain trying to figure out what she had done, what she had failed. She was surprised, and VERY relieved, when she found out that she had been selected by her favorite teacher to be valedictorian and THAT was why she had been called there. She was excited to go back to that teacher's class to thank her teacher and share in the excitment of the new adventure.

She wrote the talk herself, and it really says all the things ceana thinks are important and already strives to do. When I get some time, I will either type in her talk or post the video clip preston took.

Ceana received several awards during graduation. One was the academic Presidential award for 4.0 GPA for all of this year. The fun thing for her was that she has maintained that GPA for both whole years at TMS.
The other award she received was through the school WEB (leadership) program. She received a bronze award for serving 50 hours in the community/at school during this school year.
Ceana receiving her official congrats handshake from her TMS principal

Ceana receiving her graduation diploma from VP @ TMS

Parents were allowed to come up close to get picts of the students. I think it caught ceana a little off guard that I followed her to her seat to get a couple of close up shots - it made her laugh that without me knowing it, Ky had also followed me up to the front too. He was all set to sit on her lap for the rest of the ceremony, and was very put out when I didnt let him, which made ceana and her peers laugh even more.

Ceana & Ana have been best friends since Kindergarten. This is their 2nd graduation together.

FROGGY FRIEND

Yesterday as we were getting ready to leave for Ceana's graduation Preston noticed we had a small visitor in the yard.
It was really fun to see the little frog. When our area was still mostly open land we would hear these little guys all the time. It is rare to hear them now with all the new construction, so it was even more of a treat to see one in our own yard.
I got to play with my macro lens a bit, this is nothing fancy, just a try at capturing the little guy as close as possible. He was a pretty good sport for the most part - esp considering how close I had to get with the lens....kind of fun.

AWARD WINNER

Caiden received his very first school award this week. He was the first receipient - along with several other students - to receive a new ACES award. The award is called ACE - this award is given to students who show excellence in Academics, Citizenship, & Effort.
We have heard so many good reports from Caiden's teacher this year so it is no surprise that he received this award. We are so proud of Caiden, he has really improved in so many areas this year - and we know that alot of that has to do with him having an excellent teacher and good peers this year.
Way to go Caiden! We are so very proud of you for all your hard work in school this year!

OUR DRAMA QUEEN

This term at school kaeli has been taking drama as one of her elective classes. She has really enjoyed the class and the teacher. For their end of the year project they put on a play of the story of "Helen of Troy" - with some slight modern tweaks of their own. It was pretty funny and the kids did a great job.
Kaeli's part was Homer- the author of the Iliad and the Oddessy which the play was based on - she narrated the play as well as played a part in a group the kids named "The Homerettes" -in which they sang lines of the play to modern songs such as "The Brady Bunch" and others. It really was pretty funny and Kaeli seemed to enjoy the whole experience. It was a great way for her to end her class time at school.

Kaeli as "Homer/Narrator"
The Homer-ettes

KINDERGARTEN MUSIC PROGRAM

Colton's kindergarten graduation started with a cute music program of all the kids' favorite songs. The kids enjoy them so much because the words are silly and have silly actions....

Been To The Zoo....and we're gettin' kind of sleepy
I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and binini's - bininis?

Not sure what song this was, but apparently Colton thought it was pretty hysterical....

First you put your 2 knees close up tight....(Ball & the Jack)

POMP & CIRCUMSTANCE

Today was Colton's big day - Kindergarten graduation! It is hard to believe that a whole year has past and that Colton is done with his first year at big school. He has enjoyed his time with his friends and he is looking forward to being in 1st grade next year - even though that will be at home instead of school. He has changed and grown so much since starting school, it will be fun to continue to help him and watch him do so much more in the future.

Receiving his diploma

A happy graduate!

HUMAN PIN CUSHION

Ok, so to anyone who told me that I was going to "LOVE" acupuncture and that it would be "SOOOO relaxing", I just have to tell you - you are CRAZY!

That being said, here goes my commentary on my adventure yesterday....

See these picts - yes, those really are needles sticking out of places that they don't belong...and that is exactly what it felt like.

Not only did I get needles stuck in several different places, but they were also hooked up to ELECTRODES that pulsed and throbbed.....that is a BIG YIKES
My appt started innocently enough - just catching up on how things have been since my last appt, and being able to talk about how completely exhausted I was. Then the procedure started. Oh, I have to mention that while my dr was trying to get me comfy he happened to mention "oh, just so you know, this is painful...." - WHAT? That is so not helpful.....
I asked him to talk to me and explain things as he was going. I was informed that according to Eastern medicine, that all of our energies are renewed/energized by our kidney Chi - and it is no wonder that I am struggling even more since we know my kidneys are already messed up. The needles would go right to the nerves, to release and redirect blocked energy. First I got my middle back/kidney area filled with needles - now I know how a pin cushion feels....then after the needles were in he hooked them up to electrodes that created a tapping sensation (and a dull throbbing) I was supposed to inform my dr if I couldnt feel the tapping anymore and he would "turn up the juice".....huh?
After my back was done, he did some massage therapy on that area and seemed pleased that my back had red spots all over it (indicating better blood flow) - and yet I was not bleeding - that is the part I dont get.
He then had me flip over and put more needles in my feet (BIG OUCH), and in my hands in the space of skin between thumb & first finger (ended up numbing my arm from my fingertips to my elbow), the top of my head (another OUCH) and the space between my eyebrows just above the bridge of my nose. While he was doing the ones on my head I started to cry - not so much from the pain, but from the anxiety and reacting to things. He was kind to check in with me to make sure I was not experiencing pain (supposed to feel like a dull throb), but didnt seem overly surprised at my reaction. The spots he was working in were to help relieve depression and help sleep - I guess initial reaction/relief came through my tears.
Again, he hooked up the electrodes to the ones in my face/head. Not fun, & definately NOT relaxing....
The only way I got through the procedure was to concentrate on the relaxation music the dr put on for me and I also used some visualization techniques that another specialist is teaching me to use in times of stress and anxiety. The music was an Asian flute and piano and I think some other kind of string instrument. I was able to take myself to a beautiful garden, trees heavy with delicate blossoms. There was a pond with a gazeebo where beautiful musicians played the instruments in the music. The garden was within a high wall right on the edge of the sea. I was able to put myself in these places and away from the stress and hurt of the procedure, and the tears streaming out of my eyes.
After the procedure the dr did more massage therapy while instructing me through some special breathing exercises. By the time my appt was over - 90min later - I was more exhausted than when I arrived. Thankfully, he is always kind, knowing that these appts can be tiring, and let me rest until I felt strong enough to get up.....and move to the lab chair where the nurse did a blood draw.....guess it was just my day for needles.
I was able to get a bath with special salts for healing, and also took some ibuprofen for the spot on my head that is still extra tender.

I know that I cant judge one appt and make my decision to go back or not just from that. Because we are having to go "outside the box" for my medical needs, I need to keep telling myself that it is going to take time. I have never responded to "conventional" medicine, and respond even worse now that I have had all my kiddos. I have to be patient and be willing to try new options.....I was told at my last appt that this is not a quick fix, that just like the massage therapy appts, the acupuncture appts will show the help and healing over time - another 8-10 appts or more, and possibly one intensive 90 min appt with just the acupuncture itself.....
I have to admit though, I will not look forward to those appts, and will be truly thankful that a good friend is willing to attend those appts with me as needed....I will only hope that, over time, we will see improvement and I will be able to get back on my feet, and back into life, even if I become a human pin cushion in the process....