Moments of calm in a midst of a storm

Recently I have found out that multiple families in our ward and amazingly close circle of friends are moving. I have felt like I have been in a midst of a storm. Everything seems to be swirling around me.

Knowing that they are moving hurts my heart, and there have been random times when I all of a sudden break down and just cry. I know that there is nothing I can do about it, but I still feel pain. I will miss them. I have had some hard days, and I don't even know what to expect for the last day. I really don't want to think about it, as it is hard to imagine for me.

So, on to the title of this post. There have indeed been moments of peace where I am calm. Some of these times include when we are together, giving hugs, just times during the day when I think about everyone. Sometimes I surprise myself, when I think about (or try not to) what it will be like when they are gone, and I don't cry, I feel as if everything is going to be all right.

I know that it is because I have felt closer to my Heavenly Father. He has helped me through this, and I believe he will continue to, if I just ask. Even when I am sobbing helplessly, I know that I am not alone, and that He can help me.

I will miss all of you, and I hope to stay in touch. I love all of you. Thanks for being there for my family, and me especially.

Ceana

CHA-CHING = OUCH!

Have been without the Beast for 2 whole days now, hearing nothing about needed repairs. Just got a phone call, and it is the fuel pump that has died...its repair costs will be a big hit to the family budget...
We so need the car, and we knew taking this on would have these possibilities....just didnt understand the magnitude of what that would mean...not sure how to tighten our belts anymore....

NOT SO JOYFUL MOMENTS

1) Being beside myself with little boys who are bent on pounding each other to a pulp and destroying the house in the process, and being completely clueless about life in general....sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to survive these boys (and a baby sister who follows in their ill chosen paths)

2) A suburban that I love and hate at the same time. This was our misadventure today - went out to go get ceana from school only to have the dumb thing not start. We had it in the shop last week for something that was supposed to be fixed the time before that. I think this will be the 4th or 5th time we have had to take it in - for mostly different things dying - in the 2 months we have owned it....this is going to be another big "cha ching" hit to the family budget....we will most likely not have it back until the weekend when I told them I HAVE to have it back no matter what....
I have a friend who is going through some similar circumstances with her suburban right now too. We chatted this morning and she mentioned that having no car means practicing the family exercise program - and I replied "I know, I know, practicing to exercise faith and patience, etc" (she is always the one to give those kinds of encouraging comments) and she said "uh, no, I meant EXERCISE" (implying kids & I biking, walking, etc) We both laughed over that one, and that we can "feel each other's pain" in our current life's similar situations.


Doing my best to clean out everything essential to life before it was taken away. That was harder than it sounds since we live in that thing and there was an extra huge pile of stuff to go into the house, including a 2nd trip to get cars seats out

3) Weather that cant make up its bloomin' mind. One minute it is torrential downpour - and the next it is beautiful (though still overcast) and 60 degrees. The weather has wreaked havoc with our last 2 outdoor activity plans. Even though it is dry, the sky is still filled with threatening clouds, the wind blows and the temperature hovers around 45-50 degrees. Plants and flowers are blooming late, bees are not about and pollentating anything that has or is blooming, and it is still too wet and cold to even think about planting our garden...I REALLY need some sunshine - soon!

MORE JOYFUL MOMENTS

1) Listening to my daughters' shocked reaction as C greeted K with "Good Morning Sunshine!" (this is Preston's little saying to her usually) Enjoying laughing hysterically with C and the girls as we asked him "who are you, and what have you done with my son?"

2) Being continually amazed my children's innocence and having their own simple truths about everyday things. Example - working with colton on a homework assignment and talking about what things/people we find in our community. We had named several local businesses when I asked him "Where do we get money from" - (my grown up response is a bank) His answer? In all seriousness, was "from the tooth fairy" - we all busted out laughing, and yet it was true, in his little world quarters do come from the tooth fairy...well, she lives in our community too right?

3) Having "my heart so filled to overflowing that some spills out of my eyes" (fave quote from Mulan that fits perfectly) whenever I think about my 2 closest friends and sisters. I grew up all my life without sisters - and now in adulthood I have 2! They are a great joy and comfort to me. M & C you are 2 of the greatest blessings in my life! I truly would be lost without you! We have shared joy and sadness, good times, and not so good times, and yet you have stood by me, and with me through them all. You are true miracles given to me from the One who knows how I have needed you most of all. Love you TONS!

4) Having an AMAZING husband who works mighty miracles and does death-defying feats in our home. He took on 3 weeks of laundry, more dirty dishes than you could count, garbages, recycling, dirty floors and countertops....essentially a house that has been a state of hurricane disaster for weeks.....and in a very short order, got everything sparkling clean and ready for guests and activities. He can knock out more in a few hours than I can ever accomplish over a span of days or weeks! He is also super patient and calm amidst my meltdowns and hysterics....
Love you, sweetie, for braving all our craziness with tenderness and willingness to serve and help keep our family going! You are the awesomerest!

5) Getting to sit in on a wonderful Memorial Day service this year. I cried through most of the whole thing. It was a good time to remember why we have all the daily blessings we have. I have an extra tender place in my heart when it comes to military service with Preston serving all these years. Though he has never had to leave us for months or been in dangerous situations, he has served gratefully and willingly whenever he has been asked. We have sacrificed a little to support those who have sacrificed so much.

6) Listening and watching 14 sweet and amazing kiddos sing together in sacrament meeting this week. Their sweet voices filled with love and power really was something to behold. We also got a cute chuckle over an extra little person who thought he was supposed to join our crew to sing. He was such a cutie and didnt seem to mind at all when I let him know the whole primary wasnt singing and that he could go ahead and sit with his mom. Our whole gang probably would be the whole primary somewhere...we are a good chunk of our primary now! It was just a cute, funny thing to go with an extra special music day.

7) Getting to spend most of a whole day with 14 amazing kiddos and wonderful and dear friends. We photographed 14 kiddos and 4 families - all in about 2 hours - mostly inside! Whew - it was really WOW. The kids all did really well and hopefully we have some super great shots for everyone to keep. Our BEJW crew is one lovable, crazy bunch, and a joy to be a part of!