Many of you know that I attended a music convention in Chicago the week before Christmas. No, I don't know why Rory allowed the Army to book that particular trip, but I really did fly out on Monday the 15th with a return flight scheduled for Saturday the 20th.
Most of the week was bitterly cold - thank goodness the convention had contracted a shuttle service between the hotel where we were staying and the hotel where the convention activities were going on. The convention itself was great, with performances by some OUTSTANING groups. I'm talking about everything from middle school bands up through the US Army Field Band (and every other level in between). But this blog isn't about the weather or the food or even the music ... it's about the TRAVEL.
Saturday continued a string of VERY cold days, but the music was awesome. (Search on YouTube for MIDWEST CLINIC to get a sampling.) Of the six from our band who had attended the clinic, three of us had modified our flight itinerary so we could hear the final group - a community band from Japan. One guy had flown out the day before, one had a very early flight and the other was at the airport. During the concert we started getting text messages: the early flight was delayed 1.5 hours, the later one delayed even longer. By the time the concert was over two of our wives had received automated voicemails from United Airlines that our flight had actually been CANCELED. So began the string of events.
We had already checked out of our hotel, but we decided to head back there to pick up our stored bags before heading to the airport. We then got smart and decided instead to start calling around to gather more info. If we went straight to the airport and the flight was canceled, then United would have put us up in a hotel. But maybe there were other options, such as flying a different airline or to another city and taking the train. John got himself into the 25-minute "hold queue" on his phone while I canceled our shuttle back to the airport. I checked with the concierge to get a phone number for Amtrak to check on our options.
Amtrak was a dead end - every route from San Francisco or Seattle in to Portland was already completely booked between that time and Monday night. (Turns out there was an Amtrak derailment in Portland over the weekend, so that would have been even worse if we had found seats available and taken them.) John finally got through to United and was told we would be rebooked, but the earliest available flight was Monday night. A little more digging revealed that ALL flights into Portland had been CANCELED by then. The guy on the early flight had apparently been on the last one allowed to take off. The second airport guy had been moved into a hotel until his Monday morning rebooking.
After contacting our full-time admin staff we were told to simply do whatever we needed to, and they would amend the orders later on. We were able to book rooms in the hotel (apparently Matt and I got the last available non-smoking room) and hauled bags back upstairs.
So there we were with at least two extra days in Chicago. At the concierge's suggestion we stopped by a place called "HotTix" that sells same-day tickets for a discount. Thus we were able to get tickets for that evening's 10pm show by the Blue Man Group. Sweet! The next day (Sunday) John found two more shows in town, and Matt did one as well. Not a bad way to pass the time!
By Monday we had figured out the right websites to monitor flight status at PDX. Many of the other airlines were still canceling flights, but the first United flights of the morning reported delays then departure. Good sign. Eventually we got word from the guy on the morning flight that they had departed, but ended up making an extra stop in Seattle. Something about needing additional fuel ... I still don't have the whole story. Anyway I got some work done from the hotel room until our checkout time, and then ended up spending another three hours working from an over-stuffed chair in the hotel hallway. Deadlines ...
Finally our time had arrived. Our shuttle got us through rush-hour traffic and to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Good thing, based on the lines at the United counter when we got there. Of course after waiting in the huge line we were told we needed to hit the "Special Services" line instead, so they could waive the baggage fees (special military deal). Eventually we got all the bags checked and made our way through security. Wouldn't you know ... that snow globe I was hand-carrying is not allowed in the cabin. I guess TSA gets a little uppity when they can't test the liquid inside those sorts of things, so I couldnt' take it with me. Since it was 6:30 on a Saturday evening there wasn't much chance of me finding an open Post Office or UPS store either. I ended up back in that "Special Services" line asking to have this little box put on the plane as checked baggage. That scored some interesting looks from the ticket agent. But she took the box, made me sign a waiver in case the globe was damaged, and we figured out a way to attach the luggage tags.
I caught up with the other two guys with just enough time to wolf down some pizza before heading to our gate. I noticed that the signage all indicated that gate was for a flight to Harrisbug, but the reader board and our boarding passes said that was for our flight too. By about 8:00 before our 8:19 scheduled flight an agent came onto the intercom and said the plane scheduled to fly to Portland had just landed. Unfortunately the plane current at the gate was in the way. "Either they'll push off this plane and yours will arrive here, or we'll change gate assignments, or we'll all just be stuck here. I'll let you know." Poor airport humor I guess. They ended up changing our gate assignment.
At the next gate there was also a plane already there. But after only a few minutes it pushed off and ours moved in. I think it was about 8:20, and the NEXT flight scheduled for that gate was supposed to leave at 8:45. Well, that didn't happen. Our 8:19 flight got moved back to 8:34 then 8:50 and finally to 9:09. Interesting that they posted lists of standby passengers as those folks were given seat assignments ... there were 70 people hoping to board. We talked to one guy who had come to the airport on Saturday, but after the flights started to be canceled he saw standby lists of over THREE HUNDRED. It was a relief to finally board.
The flight itself was fairly uneventful, at least compared to everything else that happened.
As we taxied to the terminal at PDX the first officer told us over the intercom that there would be "no reason to hurry to pick up checked baggage... something about too many bags and not enough people." The meaning behind that statement became very clear after wading through the mass of folks sleeping anywhere and everywhere throughout the concourse. The bag claim area is downstairs, and I am not kidding when I estimate there were over 1000 people down there. Between all the carousels, in just about every available square foot of flooring, were rows and rows and ROWS of baggage. The area where the oversized bags are picked up was stacked to the ceiling. I'm talking about THOUSANDS of pieces of luggage. Thus "too many bags." I overheard one of the few baggage handlers mention to a co-worker that he was probably the only full-timer on duty that night, making me think the rest must have been part-time or seasonal help. Thus "not enough people."
With nothing to do but wait for our bags to emerge from the black hole in the wall, we inched up closer to the carousel to wait. And that's what we did - wait. And wait. And wait some more. Eventually we saw some bags come out that were from flight 371 ... the flight from Chicago to PDX scheduled two hours AFTER ours! Huh? Turns out that when that flight landed they didn't have a gate available. So while it was sitting on the tarmac the under-staffed baggage crew unloaded the plane. So all those bags started coming out but there was nobody there to pick them up! Finally the handlers carved out a bit more floor space and started stacking up that luggage too.
Finally our bags started to emerge. I was fortunate that mine came off early, and a cheer went up from the crowd when they saw me grab my bags. I got lots of "Hey buddy, what flight were you on?" and "You came in from O'Hare, right?" as I squeezed through the masses. Since it was well after the last Blue Lot shuttle for the night, I proceeded to the Red Lot bus and waited some more. (Usually there aren't that many people, so the Red Lot bus does double-duty.) After all that I finally got back to my truck, or what I could see of it anyway.
The week had dumped snow, laid down sheets of ice, and the plows had cleared the bus path leaving a nice mound behind all the cars. The space between the truck and the adjacent car had filled up with blown snow that was up to my knees. There was a "snow side" and an "ice side" and I was lucky that the driver's side only had snow. Not sure I would have been able to get my key into the door on an "ice side." I fired up the defroster and got to work on the snow. Of course I don't have an ice scraper in the truck (don't ever need one), so all I could really do was wait for the vehicle to warm up. The windshield wipers had become encased in ice so they weren't moving - I tried lifting them up by and, and pulled up a chunk of ice off the windshield with it. After awhile I tested the power windows, and on the passenger side (the "ice side") the window actually DID go down ... leaving behind an intact layer of ice! Pretty cool.
So about 2:00 I could finally see out the windows. I put the truck in reverse and moved about a foot. That's when I hit that snow bank from the plows. Okay ... I moved back to the front of the parking space and tried to gather a bit more speed. Another few inches of progress. This went on for about 20 cycles before I got the back tires over the drift. A few inches at a time, rocking front and back, slightly turning the wheel each time, I finally coaxed the truck out of the parking space and pointed the right direction. Sheesh.
The roads in Portland weren't actually that bad. Those familiar with the area might remember "the hill" on I-205 heading towards Oregon City, where the freeway crosses the river before going back down the hill and making a right-turn towards I-5. That's about where things started to get bad. I am not convinced that the crews had actually plowed the freeway at all, as the roads were either snow-packed or ice-rutted. Where the snow pack was in place it was so bumpy that any speed above about 25mph was rattling teeth loose. The ice ruts were something like the tracked cars at an amusement park - once you were in the ruts it was VERY hard to get out of them. That was the situation from Oregon City all the way THROUGH Salem.
Between Wilsonville and Woodburn is a 24-hour gas stop, and I pulled in about 4am. The attendant was slow in coming over as they were helping the tanker truck get situated to refill their underground tanks. He finally did and said "I hope you didn't want any gas!?!" Something about handing the guy a sign went through my mind, but I refrained. Instead I replied that indeed I was hoping to purchase petrol for my motor coach. Then another guy pulled in to the pump behind. "Well, we've been working for an hour to dig out the connection for the tanker and we're really low on fuel. But I guess I'll just pump for the two of you." Fine by me.
The rest of the trip was uneventful but slow, I got home about 5am. Since I needed to upload several hours worth of work I tried to VPN to the office, but of course there was some security update that I needed first. Too bad Windows Update found thirteen items to download and install, which I had to do before I could connect. So it was about 6:30 when I finally got to bed.
Anyway that's some of my memories of Monday's travels. If I remember any other pertinent info I'll make updates here.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
WINTER WONDERLAND
This last week we did end up getting snowed in. The other day we woke up to SNOW - fluffy, powdery, lovely SNOW. It was exciting to me to get my camera out and see what I could capture. I was able to get some pretty amazing shots. Make sure and check them out on my photo blog - they were just too wonderful and needed to be "shown off"
The kids have done really well this week for the most part. They have made tons of treats and homemade bread. They have also had their fill of friend playdates anytime they have wanted. They had a blast enjoying all the snow and the time to just rest and do fun things without any time constraints.
It has been lovely for me to know we dont have to get up and rush around every morning and that bedtime has been negotiable.
It was not lovely for me to get a phone call from my husband this morning confirming that his flight home had been cancelled. Our weather has been so bad it completely shut down the airport. He is expected to be delayed until Tues. If the weather will calm down he should be able to fly out sometime in the middle of the night Monday and arrive home Tues AM. It will make for a long day for all of us. The kids were especially disappointed as they had a special project waiting for him to help them with. We will need to go ahead and just have it ready for him to see when he gets home. I know he will love it no matter what, but he and the kids are both sad to not get that special time together. We will be so glad to have him home with us again soon.
The kids have done really well this week for the most part. They have made tons of treats and homemade bread. They have also had their fill of friend playdates anytime they have wanted. They had a blast enjoying all the snow and the time to just rest and do fun things without any time constraints.
It has been lovely for me to know we dont have to get up and rush around every morning and that bedtime has been negotiable.
It was not lovely for me to get a phone call from my husband this morning confirming that his flight home had been cancelled. Our weather has been so bad it completely shut down the airport. He is expected to be delayed until Tues. If the weather will calm down he should be able to fly out sometime in the middle of the night Monday and arrive home Tues AM. It will make for a long day for all of us. The kids were especially disappointed as they had a special project waiting for him to help them with. We will need to go ahead and just have it ready for him to see when he gets home. I know he will love it no matter what, but he and the kids are both sad to not get that special time together. We will be so glad to have him home with us again soon.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
BOYS ARE A SPECIES ALL THEIR OWN
I have tried to stop laughing long enough to post about my sons. Boys really are in a genre all their own - they do stuff my girls never did...
Tonight Colton has been spinning himself(lack of outside time with temps being in the teens). He stands right in the middle of the room and looks right up at the new light fixture in the office and spins and spins - and then he stops and says - "look mom, the room spins all by itself!"
He then proceeded to RUN out of the office - hitting the dining room chair and bouncing himself off the chair so hard he bounced across and also hit the dining room sliding door before hitting the floor (imagine a pinball machine)- mind you there was PLENTY of space for him to get out the door and past the table...
He comes running back to tell me "the chair jumped out and got in the way!" He had gotten himself so dizzy and run out the door, not knowing what would happen by not having his equilibrium back...
It was hard to not laugh hysterically while trying to comfort him (he bonked his shoulder pretty hard besides being WAY overtired) Poor thing - and funny kid. He doesnt seem to be any worse for the wear though - tough kid too.
Who needs TV or movies or expensive entertainment when you have kids around? He is such a cutie but also can be such a goofball.
Ky is my other goofball tonight. He came downstairs earlier today with his mouth and tongue a dark blue - he had been in the playroom so my only guess was that he had gotten into Preston's game table box - and eaten the pool cue chalk. I took wipes to his mouth, hands and his tongue. The kids looked for the chalk but never found it. Just a little bit ago my suspicions were confirmed when he again came downstairs with his hands and mouth dark blue - and the missing pool cue chalk in his hand. You would think it didnt taste good the first time - apparently he didnt mind it....
He blows me away at the things he finds - and still puts in his mouth. I think things are put away somewhere he cant find them or get to them - and he still does. A couple of weeks ago he raided Ceana's room and came down with his hands (and his mouth)full of hard candy she had been saving. He also found a rogue SHARPIE (yes, that's right folks - PERMANENT marker) - which I keep way up high on the fridge - and chose the wall in the family room as his choice of canvas for his artwork (we will be re-painting - eventually). He also has figured out how to use his toes to literally climb the cupboards and does a chin up as he pulls himself up onto the countertops (he was caught pilfering a plate of cookies that should have been out of his reach)
My girls NEVER did these kinds of things - and the stuff Ky pulls is even stuff the other boys never did. What is it that is so different about braincells in girls vs boys? They are SOOO different, so challenging and so hilarious!
Tonight Colton has been spinning himself(lack of outside time with temps being in the teens). He stands right in the middle of the room and looks right up at the new light fixture in the office and spins and spins - and then he stops and says - "look mom, the room spins all by itself!"
He then proceeded to RUN out of the office - hitting the dining room chair and bouncing himself off the chair so hard he bounced across and also hit the dining room sliding door before hitting the floor (imagine a pinball machine)- mind you there was PLENTY of space for him to get out the door and past the table...
He comes running back to tell me "the chair jumped out and got in the way!" He had gotten himself so dizzy and run out the door, not knowing what would happen by not having his equilibrium back...
It was hard to not laugh hysterically while trying to comfort him (he bonked his shoulder pretty hard besides being WAY overtired) Poor thing - and funny kid. He doesnt seem to be any worse for the wear though - tough kid too.
Who needs TV or movies or expensive entertainment when you have kids around? He is such a cutie but also can be such a goofball.
Ky is my other goofball tonight. He came downstairs earlier today with his mouth and tongue a dark blue - he had been in the playroom so my only guess was that he had gotten into Preston's game table box - and eaten the pool cue chalk. I took wipes to his mouth, hands and his tongue. The kids looked for the chalk but never found it. Just a little bit ago my suspicions were confirmed when he again came downstairs with his hands and mouth dark blue - and the missing pool cue chalk in his hand. You would think it didnt taste good the first time - apparently he didnt mind it....
He blows me away at the things he finds - and still puts in his mouth. I think things are put away somewhere he cant find them or get to them - and he still does. A couple of weeks ago he raided Ceana's room and came down with his hands (and his mouth)full of hard candy she had been saving. He also found a rogue SHARPIE (yes, that's right folks - PERMANENT marker) - which I keep way up high on the fridge - and chose the wall in the family room as his choice of canvas for his artwork (we will be re-painting - eventually). He also has figured out how to use his toes to literally climb the cupboards and does a chin up as he pulls himself up onto the countertops (he was caught pilfering a plate of cookies that should have been out of his reach)
My girls NEVER did these kinds of things - and the stuff Ky pulls is even stuff the other boys never did. What is it that is so different about braincells in girls vs boys? They are SOOO different, so challenging and so hilarious!
SNOWED IN FOR GOOD?
We woke up to big fat flakes of snow on Sunday morning - which kept lots of families from getting anywhere and resulted in cancelling church - THAT is very rare. The way things look this week with continued nasty weather and water lines freezing and bursting in the building may keep us away again this week....
We have watched the snow and ice come down and the wind blow. We have also watched the school district online calendar for posts about closures. Sure enough Mon, Tues & Wed have been cancelled because of weather conditions. I am guessing we are done for the week as we have continued to get cancellation phone calls about school and community events we were supposed to participate in. It also has kept us from doing any traveling which also resulted in no dentist or ortho appts we have had scheduled for the last 6 months. The kids arent so upset about the appointments as they are about our tradition of going out to lunch as a family afterward (the kids get great restaurant certificates for good check ups).
Soooo, here we are on day FOUR of being here at home. I can say that the weather has been a blessing for our family. Our week was supposed to be bezerk while Preston is away and instead we have had every day here at home to sleep, play, cook, and just downshift (something we have all needed badly). Because of all the cancellations Preston is not missing any of the kids' recitals or awards ceremonies, he is not missing our family appts. He is also not missing the nasty weather - Chicago has been about 5 degrees with yucky snow and winds.
We have tried hard to enjoy our time together. The kids have had a ton of fun playing outside in the snow - I have taken some great picts! They have enjoyed having extra time to play with their friends - they even did a play and made their own video of it! They loved that!
The kids have spent lots of time playing games. They have had fun making treats and baking bread(which I didnt get picts of). They have had fun taking naps (which I did get picts of). They have also enjoyed helping me train the dogs to be in the house more. They have a little pen they usually stay in but with everyone home we have let them branch out and I have been pleasantly surprised that they have done really well and havent had any accidents in the house or chewed up anything.
Kels is slowly warming up to the idea of the dogs being in her space - she screamed hysterically yesterday anytime the dogs got anywhere near her! she would only stop screaming if one of us was holding her up away from them. It was funny and not. She is doing much better today and was even on the floor with them. She wasnt too thrilled when LJ gave her kisses though. I am hoping that as the dogs do better and Kels gets bigger that they will grow to really enjoy each other. It will mean lots of adventures for all of them:)
I have been using my time to work on photography. The change in weather has given amazing opportunities for taking outdoor picts. It has also given me time to work on Lightroom and Photoshop and get picts cleaned up and out to clients. I am still working on one set of picts that I am having some challenges with. My monitor says they look great - my laptop not so much - and my prints are way off. The weather has kept me away from the print store to figure out how to make corrections and why my monitor and the prints are so different. A previous set of prints were great - so we are guessing it was a lab mistake. I have to have these set of picts completely done and printed in the next 2 weeks or less though, so it is making me a bit nervous.
The weather has also given me time to stew and worry about a new CERT position I have been asked to take on. With everyone home I have been in "mom" mode 24-7 for everyone and havent had the time to make phone calls without multiple interruptions. I need to just make myself do it - even though it terrifies me. I feel so unqualified and yet others are waiting on me to get things going. I am very torn as to what to do. My people skills are more than horrible when my mouth has to do all the work. When I can get behind the camera it is completely different - my eye is doing all the hard work, not always my mouth, and it is playtime. When I am needing to talk and interact with others, esp in a leadership position, or needing to request assistance or represent others besides myself it is a HUGE challenge. I just know I am going to mess up and mis-represent our program because when I get nervous my mouth makes even more mistakes. I just need to "bite the bullet" and get the phone calls over with. It is a hard decision.
Well, guess that is our update for now. I have tons of picts I will be posting here and also on my photo blog - so watch for those soon!
We have watched the snow and ice come down and the wind blow. We have also watched the school district online calendar for posts about closures. Sure enough Mon, Tues & Wed have been cancelled because of weather conditions. I am guessing we are done for the week as we have continued to get cancellation phone calls about school and community events we were supposed to participate in. It also has kept us from doing any traveling which also resulted in no dentist or ortho appts we have had scheduled for the last 6 months. The kids arent so upset about the appointments as they are about our tradition of going out to lunch as a family afterward (the kids get great restaurant certificates for good check ups).
Soooo, here we are on day FOUR of being here at home. I can say that the weather has been a blessing for our family. Our week was supposed to be bezerk while Preston is away and instead we have had every day here at home to sleep, play, cook, and just downshift (something we have all needed badly). Because of all the cancellations Preston is not missing any of the kids' recitals or awards ceremonies, he is not missing our family appts. He is also not missing the nasty weather - Chicago has been about 5 degrees with yucky snow and winds.
We have tried hard to enjoy our time together. The kids have had a ton of fun playing outside in the snow - I have taken some great picts! They have enjoyed having extra time to play with their friends - they even did a play and made their own video of it! They loved that!
The kids have spent lots of time playing games. They have had fun making treats and baking bread(which I didnt get picts of). They have had fun taking naps (which I did get picts of). They have also enjoyed helping me train the dogs to be in the house more. They have a little pen they usually stay in but with everyone home we have let them branch out and I have been pleasantly surprised that they have done really well and havent had any accidents in the house or chewed up anything.
Kels is slowly warming up to the idea of the dogs being in her space - she screamed hysterically yesterday anytime the dogs got anywhere near her! she would only stop screaming if one of us was holding her up away from them. It was funny and not. She is doing much better today and was even on the floor with them. She wasnt too thrilled when LJ gave her kisses though. I am hoping that as the dogs do better and Kels gets bigger that they will grow to really enjoy each other. It will mean lots of adventures for all of them:)
I have been using my time to work on photography. The change in weather has given amazing opportunities for taking outdoor picts. It has also given me time to work on Lightroom and Photoshop and get picts cleaned up and out to clients. I am still working on one set of picts that I am having some challenges with. My monitor says they look great - my laptop not so much - and my prints are way off. The weather has kept me away from the print store to figure out how to make corrections and why my monitor and the prints are so different. A previous set of prints were great - so we are guessing it was a lab mistake. I have to have these set of picts completely done and printed in the next 2 weeks or less though, so it is making me a bit nervous.
The weather has also given me time to stew and worry about a new CERT position I have been asked to take on. With everyone home I have been in "mom" mode 24-7 for everyone and havent had the time to make phone calls without multiple interruptions. I need to just make myself do it - even though it terrifies me. I feel so unqualified and yet others are waiting on me to get things going. I am very torn as to what to do. My people skills are more than horrible when my mouth has to do all the work. When I can get behind the camera it is completely different - my eye is doing all the hard work, not always my mouth, and it is playtime. When I am needing to talk and interact with others, esp in a leadership position, or needing to request assistance or represent others besides myself it is a HUGE challenge. I just know I am going to mess up and mis-represent our program because when I get nervous my mouth makes even more mistakes. I just need to "bite the bullet" and get the phone calls over with. It is a hard decision.
Well, guess that is our update for now. I have tons of picts I will be posting here and also on my photo blog - so watch for those soon!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
NEW POSTS COMING SOON!
OK, so I know I havent posted in quite awhile - I have been extra busy!
We have had unusual weather - including snow, ice, VERY cold temps - so I have had kiddos home all day, every day. That actually has been pretty fun - it has been nice to not have to go anywhere and have a whole day to cook, play, read, sleep, etc. It also has given me the opportunity to take some AMAZING pictures! It has also given me the opportunity to play with my camera ALOT. I have been so proud of myself for taking most of these picts with all of my manual settings. Some of them were in auto mode - I will be researching those in Lightroom to see what camera settings were so I can practice more. I feel I have learned a ton though and it is amazing to see the difference that manual settings can make.
Speaking of Lightroom - my last photography post shared my frustrations about the complicated software programs I am learning. I have actually been impressed with Lightroom as it has helped me keep and fix picts I would have otherwise thrown away. Until I can get everything perfect "in camera" it is helping me to learn about what my camera "sees" and does, because it posts all the specific information captured in a RAW image (which I have also been still playing with) Lightroom does not keep that info for JPG files - but it does still allow me to fix and tweak things better.
I will most likely be posting my favorite winter and still photos on my photo blog ( photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com) so be sure to keep checking that out. If you are here on the family blog it should show an update on the direct link when I have added new. I will prob be adding alot soon though so you may need to go to the "labels" list to look at them too.
I have felt so much better about my photography - still and nature and landscape is what I do best - things that DONT move (for the most part) - things that I can take with different settings or in different time frames (like sunrises) and get completely different picts. I tried my hand at photographing birds. With the snow the birds have been eating the berries off the tree in our front yard - yesterday I spent about an hour taking picts - some actually are really great - I have never done birds before - it was amazing to watch them and try to capture their antics and beauty - something I will definately try for again.
Anyway - just wanted to mostly give everyone the "heads up" that most of my posts in the next few days will be on the photo blog. I will put some fun stuff here too - the kids decorating our tree was great fun - just watch for LOTS more to be posted soon -k-
We have had unusual weather - including snow, ice, VERY cold temps - so I have had kiddos home all day, every day. That actually has been pretty fun - it has been nice to not have to go anywhere and have a whole day to cook, play, read, sleep, etc. It also has given me the opportunity to take some AMAZING pictures! It has also given me the opportunity to play with my camera ALOT. I have been so proud of myself for taking most of these picts with all of my manual settings. Some of them were in auto mode - I will be researching those in Lightroom to see what camera settings were so I can practice more. I feel I have learned a ton though and it is amazing to see the difference that manual settings can make.
Speaking of Lightroom - my last photography post shared my frustrations about the complicated software programs I am learning. I have actually been impressed with Lightroom as it has helped me keep and fix picts I would have otherwise thrown away. Until I can get everything perfect "in camera" it is helping me to learn about what my camera "sees" and does, because it posts all the specific information captured in a RAW image (which I have also been still playing with) Lightroom does not keep that info for JPG files - but it does still allow me to fix and tweak things better.
I will most likely be posting my favorite winter and still photos on my photo blog ( photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com) so be sure to keep checking that out. If you are here on the family blog it should show an update on the direct link when I have added new. I will prob be adding alot soon though so you may need to go to the "labels" list to look at them too.
I have felt so much better about my photography - still and nature and landscape is what I do best - things that DONT move (for the most part) - things that I can take with different settings or in different time frames (like sunrises) and get completely different picts. I tried my hand at photographing birds. With the snow the birds have been eating the berries off the tree in our front yard - yesterday I spent about an hour taking picts - some actually are really great - I have never done birds before - it was amazing to watch them and try to capture their antics and beauty - something I will definately try for again.
Anyway - just wanted to mostly give everyone the "heads up" that most of my posts in the next few days will be on the photo blog. I will put some fun stuff here too - the kids decorating our tree was great fun - just watch for LOTS more to be posted soon -k-
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
7 IMPORTANT DATES
A friend recently posted on her blog a quote from some time ago. The jist of the message was remembering special times in your life. Can you think of the 7 most important dates in your life up until now? I am tagging the following fellow-bloggers - Kymberly, Allison, Amanda, Lish, Julia, Kenna, Denise - have fun!
Here are my most memorable dates:
July 4th - My birthday and my cousin's birthday are on either side of the 4th of july. All the time I was growing up we always celebrated our birthdays together on the 4th. When I was extra little I thought that I was so lucky that everyone was celebrating my birthday with me because there was always a big party and fireworks and everything. The first year after we moved to OR was probably the 1st year my cousin and I didnt celebrate together. I know we both missed it - and still do. It is something special we will always share together because of all the memories we had.
April 29, 1989 - The day I was baptized. I remember the whole experience leading up to my baptism was pretty traumatizing - friends and family turned their backs on me, a step- grandfather who would swear a blue streak and spout as much anti-mormon garbage as he could, esp in my presence. I never had the same set of missionaries twice, there was much I still did not understand, there was never any support at home, I attended church by myself every week and was never really accepted into my home ward. I cant say that I remember much of that day. I look at picts but cannot necessarily put memories with them.
What is important about that day is where I am now. It has been a long, hard road with more mistakes and wasted time than I can even begin to describe - but because of that decision that day - the rest of my life has been truly blessed - I have the gospel in my life and I am able to be the 1st one in my family to be able to give that gift to my children. Because of that decision my children are in being raised in a safe, happy, gospel-centered home. Because of the gospel I have been given a great gift and blessing of knowledge and truth. A gift that I can never deny, and that I know with every fiber of me is true. I know that I would be a very different person now without the gospel light in my life. I am grateful for it every day and to know that it has shaped me into the person that I am and the person that I hope to become.
July 21, 1993 - The day I married my best friend. Again, I think being so young and naive, the day is quite a blur for me. I didnt understand on that day where it would bring me. I have been blessed to have a strong, kind, patient, loving, forgiving man who loves me unconditionally and gives everything without expecting anything in return. It amazes me that he has put up with me all these years :) I know that I would be very lost without him. I am thankful every minute of every day that he is by my side and that we walk together through life's joys and tears, adventures and mis-adventures. He is my angel here on Earth and I am truly blessed to know that he loves me and that he is mine.
January 25, 1995 - The day our oldest daughter was born. In this I will also group in my other kiddos - July 9, July 22, Feb 4, May 10, May 15. Each of these dates holds cherished memories of a new little person that joined our family. Each of my children is a jewel and I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to be their mother here on this Earth. I often have people ask me what it was like before I had children - I always tease that I slept alot more :) But it truly is hard to remember what it was like before they joined our life. When you have a child you dont just love them, you fall in love with them, and they change your life and your heart forever. Their personalities are all so different and each brings something special to our family and our home. They are a joy and a true blessing in my life.
Spring 2003 - My dearest aunt Mary passed away. She had been battling cancer for some time. It still came as a shock. She was beloved by so many of us in the family - esp us girls. Some of my most cherished childhood memories were spent staying in her home every Summer and learning to cook and play anything our imagination could come up with. My cousin and I came up with some pretty wild ideas - and Aunt Mary always encouraged us and enjoyed laughing and playing with us. She ingrained in me a love of cooking and baking - she was a master. After she was gone it was so hard when I would pick up the phone to call her and then remember she wasnt there. I still think of her - esp when I need help or advice with cooking or family history - we girls always knew that Aunt Mary could answer any question we ever had. She was a master of cooking, playing, baking, and family history, but most especially of loving. She is still dearly missed and I know she always will be.
April 2003 - This month held many changes in my life. It is funny that it ended up being right close to my baptism day - almost the exact date. Two major things happened - I walked away from a life of abuse and pain and the family who caused it, and I legally changed my name.
Both things caused great heartache and yet both things led me to to a life of hope and happiness and peace for myself and my own family - just like my baptism did.
I have had many different people voice their opinions about both events, but in the end both were my choices to make. No matter what anyone else thinks or says they can never understand the pain I endured from the things I went through, or the joy and peace of what my life is like now. Both have been positive choices with joy and safety and peace for me and my children. Knowing that I am living my life as I choose and raising my children in the safety and peace of the gospel and the safety and love of our home makes those choices all the more important. My choice to stand tall and strong and true, finally, have made all the difference to my children and to me - and that is the most important of all.
September 2000 - The day my first child entered kindergarten. She was so MORE than ready to go to school. I remember she told me she was fine and I didnt need to stay. I told her I was staying anyway - and then I cried and cried after I got home. She was a little snippet of a thing, with a "dorothy hamil" haircut, so tiny and yet so much more mature than her almost 6 years. She was already reading and already doing more than most of her peers. School was just what she needed.
Each time one of my kiddos goes to kindergarten I cry - for happiness and sadness. It is wonderful to watch the kids change and grow and learn and yet I want them to stay little and not change. I have another little guy in kindergarten again this year - it has been more challenging with him as he has always been our "special needs" kiddo. He has made amazing progress in many areas and still has concerns in others. He loves being there though and it makes me happy that he is happy and enjoying this school experience.
I love watching him learn new things and grow bigger and yet I wish I could hold onto this moment and freeze time, it is somewhere we will never be again with him. That thought of time ever changing, kiddos ever growing and learning makes my heart happy and sad - all the sweet memories of him (and the other kids) being small and of the past, and all the possibilities of the future rolled into one. When the heart is overflowing usually, for me, so are the tears.
I am sure there are more things that I could think of to add - but for now, these are the things that come to mind. I am looking forward to seeing what others post soon about your favorite and memorable dates!
Here are my most memorable dates:
July 4th - My birthday and my cousin's birthday are on either side of the 4th of july. All the time I was growing up we always celebrated our birthdays together on the 4th. When I was extra little I thought that I was so lucky that everyone was celebrating my birthday with me because there was always a big party and fireworks and everything. The first year after we moved to OR was probably the 1st year my cousin and I didnt celebrate together. I know we both missed it - and still do. It is something special we will always share together because of all the memories we had.
April 29, 1989 - The day I was baptized. I remember the whole experience leading up to my baptism was pretty traumatizing - friends and family turned their backs on me, a step- grandfather who would swear a blue streak and spout as much anti-mormon garbage as he could, esp in my presence. I never had the same set of missionaries twice, there was much I still did not understand, there was never any support at home, I attended church by myself every week and was never really accepted into my home ward. I cant say that I remember much of that day. I look at picts but cannot necessarily put memories with them.
What is important about that day is where I am now. It has been a long, hard road with more mistakes and wasted time than I can even begin to describe - but because of that decision that day - the rest of my life has been truly blessed - I have the gospel in my life and I am able to be the 1st one in my family to be able to give that gift to my children. Because of that decision my children are in being raised in a safe, happy, gospel-centered home. Because of the gospel I have been given a great gift and blessing of knowledge and truth. A gift that I can never deny, and that I know with every fiber of me is true. I know that I would be a very different person now without the gospel light in my life. I am grateful for it every day and to know that it has shaped me into the person that I am and the person that I hope to become.
July 21, 1993 - The day I married my best friend. Again, I think being so young and naive, the day is quite a blur for me. I didnt understand on that day where it would bring me. I have been blessed to have a strong, kind, patient, loving, forgiving man who loves me unconditionally and gives everything without expecting anything in return. It amazes me that he has put up with me all these years :) I know that I would be very lost without him. I am thankful every minute of every day that he is by my side and that we walk together through life's joys and tears, adventures and mis-adventures. He is my angel here on Earth and I am truly blessed to know that he loves me and that he is mine.
January 25, 1995 - The day our oldest daughter was born. In this I will also group in my other kiddos - July 9, July 22, Feb 4, May 10, May 15. Each of these dates holds cherished memories of a new little person that joined our family. Each of my children is a jewel and I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to be their mother here on this Earth. I often have people ask me what it was like before I had children - I always tease that I slept alot more :) But it truly is hard to remember what it was like before they joined our life. When you have a child you dont just love them, you fall in love with them, and they change your life and your heart forever. Their personalities are all so different and each brings something special to our family and our home. They are a joy and a true blessing in my life.
Spring 2003 - My dearest aunt Mary passed away. She had been battling cancer for some time. It still came as a shock. She was beloved by so many of us in the family - esp us girls. Some of my most cherished childhood memories were spent staying in her home every Summer and learning to cook and play anything our imagination could come up with. My cousin and I came up with some pretty wild ideas - and Aunt Mary always encouraged us and enjoyed laughing and playing with us. She ingrained in me a love of cooking and baking - she was a master. After she was gone it was so hard when I would pick up the phone to call her and then remember she wasnt there. I still think of her - esp when I need help or advice with cooking or family history - we girls always knew that Aunt Mary could answer any question we ever had. She was a master of cooking, playing, baking, and family history, but most especially of loving. She is still dearly missed and I know she always will be.
April 2003 - This month held many changes in my life. It is funny that it ended up being right close to my baptism day - almost the exact date. Two major things happened - I walked away from a life of abuse and pain and the family who caused it, and I legally changed my name.
Both things caused great heartache and yet both things led me to to a life of hope and happiness and peace for myself and my own family - just like my baptism did.
I have had many different people voice their opinions about both events, but in the end both were my choices to make. No matter what anyone else thinks or says they can never understand the pain I endured from the things I went through, or the joy and peace of what my life is like now. Both have been positive choices with joy and safety and peace for me and my children. Knowing that I am living my life as I choose and raising my children in the safety and peace of the gospel and the safety and love of our home makes those choices all the more important. My choice to stand tall and strong and true, finally, have made all the difference to my children and to me - and that is the most important of all.
September 2000 - The day my first child entered kindergarten. She was so MORE than ready to go to school. I remember she told me she was fine and I didnt need to stay. I told her I was staying anyway - and then I cried and cried after I got home. She was a little snippet of a thing, with a "dorothy hamil" haircut, so tiny and yet so much more mature than her almost 6 years. She was already reading and already doing more than most of her peers. School was just what she needed.
Each time one of my kiddos goes to kindergarten I cry - for happiness and sadness. It is wonderful to watch the kids change and grow and learn and yet I want them to stay little and not change. I have another little guy in kindergarten again this year - it has been more challenging with him as he has always been our "special needs" kiddo. He has made amazing progress in many areas and still has concerns in others. He loves being there though and it makes me happy that he is happy and enjoying this school experience.
I love watching him learn new things and grow bigger and yet I wish I could hold onto this moment and freeze time, it is somewhere we will never be again with him. That thought of time ever changing, kiddos ever growing and learning makes my heart happy and sad - all the sweet memories of him (and the other kids) being small and of the past, and all the possibilities of the future rolled into one. When the heart is overflowing usually, for me, so are the tears.
I am sure there are more things that I could think of to add - but for now, these are the things that come to mind. I am looking forward to seeing what others post soon about your favorite and memorable dates!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
BEATING THE WINTER BLUES
We have been experiencing all sorts of weather this month - torrential rain, freezing temperatures, gorgeous blue skies, you name it and we have probably experienced it. With the ever changing weather and the freezing temperatures the boys have been feeling extra cooped up. I discovered we had an extra mattress when I was doing some re-arranging of bedrooms. It became the perfect "trampoline" and helped the boys expend their bottled up energy. They had a great time and it really did help to beat the Winter Blues. It will be something we pull out again - esp if we really get the freezing rain and snow the forcast is predicting in the near future.
BAXTER KIDDO THANXGIVING TRADITION
I know that Thanksgiving was awhile ago but things have been so busy I havent had a chance to blog our picts. Our family has found that we have a special tweak on the "thanksgiving pie" thing. Making pies has always been a thing that has not thrilled me - I love to eat pie - but I dont love to make them. I also found that my kiddos wouldnt eat them if I did go to the trouble of making them. We always used the leftover pie crust to make cookies. One year we just decided to make cookies and use the fillings for dip vs making the whole pies - hence our own tradition was started.
The kids all really look forward to making cookies together - it is the one time of year where everyone gets to help with a big cooking project. The girls and I made the mousse fillings and then all the kids took turns making the cookies.
Ky esp liked to have his turn, and just like with the muffins, he wanted to do everything himself. He did pretty good with the pastry cutter and Kaeli was on stand-by to help as needed.
Kaeli esp likes working with cookie and bread dough - she loves getting her hands messy and rolling it out. She had a bit of trouble with the pie crust - it is different from bread dough in consistency - and she actually got on the step stool and used everything she had to get it rolled out - and then enlisted my help. She gave it a good go and built some more muscles :)
When it was time to cut out the cookies of course Ky went right for the CARS cutter - it amazes me how many different kinds of cars he likes - doesnt matter what shape or size, if it is a car, that is good enough for him.
I love this pict of Kaeli and Ky - this "helping hands" pict really shows what this tradition represents to our family - sharing, laughing, loving, helping, & creating something that everyone enjoys - the process and the product are full of fun memories.
The kids all really look forward to making cookies together - it is the one time of year where everyone gets to help with a big cooking project. The girls and I made the mousse fillings and then all the kids took turns making the cookies.
Ky esp liked to have his turn, and just like with the muffins, he wanted to do everything himself. He did pretty good with the pastry cutter and Kaeli was on stand-by to help as needed.
Kaeli esp likes working with cookie and bread dough - she loves getting her hands messy and rolling it out. She had a bit of trouble with the pie crust - it is different from bread dough in consistency - and she actually got on the step stool and used everything she had to get it rolled out - and then enlisted my help. She gave it a good go and built some more muscles :)
When it was time to cut out the cookies of course Ky went right for the CARS cutter - it amazes me how many different kinds of cars he likes - doesnt matter what shape or size, if it is a car, that is good enough for him.
I love this pict of Kaeli and Ky - this "helping hands" pict really shows what this tradition represents to our family - sharing, laughing, loving, helping, & creating something that everyone enjoys - the process and the product are full of fun memories.
Here is Caiden cutting out more cookies. We have several sets of cookie cutters that were my grandmothers - the old metal kind - and the kids had a great time choosing different cutters for the dough.
Ceana & Kaeli liked playing with the handprint cookie cutter. Kaeli had tried to take off the right fingers so the hand would be signing "I love you" - the girls laughed as they tried to get it figured out - I think there ended up being serveral hands that were missing all the fingers by the time they went into the oven
Colton was a big helper with the butter and sprinkles. He liked using the pastry brush and shaking the cin-sug on the cookies. I love this pict esp because it shows Colton having fun, but also because I happened to also get Kaeli's "love note" in the background - notice the writing in the flour. I had walked away from the kitchen and she was doodling and left that for me - she is all love and hugs lately - and I love it - I hope it will always be that way with all the kids.
We also worked on Thanksgiving crafts. The big girls helped the little boys, but also had fun creating their own Handprint turkeys. I think we still didnt get Kels and Ky's finished but it is fun to have their cute little handprints in paper - they will be fun to add to the hope chest.
Ceana & Kaeli liked playing with the handprint cookie cutter. Kaeli had tried to take off the right fingers so the hand would be signing "I love you" - the girls laughed as they tried to get it figured out - I think there ended up being serveral hands that were missing all the fingers by the time they went into the oven
Colton was a big helper with the butter and sprinkles. He liked using the pastry brush and shaking the cin-sug on the cookies. I love this pict esp because it shows Colton having fun, but also because I happened to also get Kaeli's "love note" in the background - notice the writing in the flour. I had walked away from the kitchen and she was doodling and left that for me - she is all love and hugs lately - and I love it - I hope it will always be that way with all the kids.
We also worked on Thanksgiving crafts. The big girls helped the little boys, but also had fun creating their own Handprint turkeys. I think we still didnt get Kels and Ky's finished but it is fun to have their cute little handprints in paper - they will be fun to add to the hope chest.
PHOTOGRAPHY FRUSTRATIONS
FYI - this is a personal entry to just voice concerns and stresses - feel free to skip or read at your own discretion...
It is about 445AM - I have been awake since about 1AM. The time that I was asleep I was actively working on photography - it seems my brain cant relax lately.
I was so excited to get to do another family shoot this last weekend. We were blessed with very cold, but very beautiful weather. The mid-day lighting was very challenging but I was thrilled to get home and discover I was able to capture some pretty great shots. The 3 families I got to work with were really a lot of fun and allowed me to get to know them lots better than I already did.
My challenge has come in the processing of my picts.
I have been shooting in JPG format - but have been encouraged this last week to start trying to shoot in RAW and giving myself better ability to control the outcome of my photos.
The only thing is I am in no way, shape or form a "techy" - and trying to wade through manuals, tutorials, and gobbedly-gook instructions is making my brain explode, the tears flow and the chocolate being consumed "en masse"
In the meantime I have 2 sets of photos waiting to be processed and no clue how to do it. Plus the pressure of knowing I have clients waiting on these picts.
Preston is being an angel and putting up with all my emotional exposions by taking on the tech side of things - which makes me feel even worse that he is spending time doing my job instead of focusing on things he has to get done (work, military, church stuff ) before he goes out of town again. I feel completely overwhelmed and incompetent, and because I am, that he is always having to make up for all of my weaknesses and taking his own valuable time to fix or do all the things I fail at.
I recently talked with a gal in the other ward who is "pro" - and really have been feeling more discouraged and torn about myself and my photography since that time. She is a "high end $" photographer and very competitive with the other pro studio in town. I am not doing photography for the $ or to be competitive, but I feel I am more than just "a mom with a camera", as she put things. I know her opinion, or anyone else's, shouldnt matter - but with me still learning and trying to teach myself everything - others' suggestions and critiques and experience do matter.
I feel very strongly that I have a gift and talent that I can share - without having $ become the main focus - I know that we cant afford pro photos (part of the reason I am learning to do all this myself - we saved a ton this year by me taking photos for our own family) - I cant see myself charging an arm and a leg for families I know are in the same situation that we are, but who love to have picts done of their families and kiddos.
I know that this gift and talent is just that - a gift - that for whatever reason, was given to me to share - I want to learn more, develop this gift, help others, find the joy in being able to truly "see" the world around me, to get outside my comfort zone and get out there and meet new people. I love that every time I get behind the camera that I find a freedom and a creativity that flows through me and allows me the chance to grow and "see" - and not be afraid. I have ALWAYS been shy and afraid - have never been one of those "meet and greet" personalities. This is allowing me a chance to change that.
Battle #1 (besides still struggling with conquering correct lighting) is that I second guess myself at every shoot. I get so nervous I dont eat before a shoot and I shake and worry every minute that even though I am doing my very best - I am not going to be able to capture enough or have my work be good enough to give to others, that I will have wasted their time.
Battle #2 is the vast complexity of the photo enhancement programs. I am trying to read, trying to understand, trying to figure things out - but i just become more frustrated - esp knowing that I have taken some great picts that might need some tweaking here and there and I cant get it figured out. Esp knowing that I have clients waiting for picts.
Battle #3 is the whole business end of things. I advertise that I am friendly, efficient and professional. I try very hard to be all of those things and yet the $ always seems to get in the way. I still am trying to figure out what the best plan should be. Every shoot I have done has been completely different - large group, small, corporate, senior, how much time at a shoot, how much time at home doing tweaks, etc. Every shoot has brought new info to my attention that I havent even thought of and dont know how to compensate for.
I know that my time is valuable, and I would love to earn enough to expand my equipment and maybe be able to contribute to our family income. I also know that I cannot bring myself to charge horrendous amounts of $ - a gift is something to be shared, not charge admission for.
It is so hard to know what to do.
Battle #4 - I have been encouraged to join a professional photographers association and to attend an upcoming 4 day seminar. I have been told it is an amazing chance to learn about photography from others in every level of photography, workshops, practice, etc. The catch is that it would be almost $500 to be able to go.
Preston seems more than willing to do that - but I know we have cut back on everything extra to make ends meet and make sure all of household and family NEEDS are filled. To me, that much $ and me being away for 4 days seems selfish and frivilous - knowing that this is more in the lines of a hobby and that I am never intending to become a "cut-throat" photographer like others I have seen as they have come through the ranks. I dont know that my goals are to ever become so professional that I dont remember where I started, why I am doing this, or remember to be thankful for the gift I have been given to share with others. Throwing that much $ out there when I dont know what my goals are, or knowing that if I do ever get that far I will prob stay "free lance" seems like a very unwise thing to do.
Battle #5 - I think that I have pretty much become a royal nuisance through this process. I have asked too many questions, bugged too many people too many times. I am a very visual learner - I need to see and watch and ask. I have never been one to read and retain - esp when it comes to complicated tech stuff. In needing the visual side, I have cut myself off from that option because I am such a bother and have been too incompetent. I cant even get others to answer my emails or calls. In trying to teach myself and trying to learn from others I have ruined that chance.
This art has 2 sides - creativity and tech - and business, if it gets that far.
I think I am doing great on the creativity side - it has opened up a whole new world for me to see things that others dont, to appreciate and wonder at all of the creations and people around us.
I am doing horribly with the tech side - hampering my opportunity and ability to share with others the things that I see and feel through this art.
Without knowing every in and out of my camera, without being able to tweak or fix picts, because of my meager abilities, I cant create or capture the things my eyes see or that my heart feels, or create prints that I can share with someone else.
The joy is lessened or lost waiting and worrying about others' opinions (and then still not letting myself believe them even if they like the picts) or because $ has to be part of the business side.
I think that in the last few months that I have learned alot. I have experienced personal growth in lots of areas. I also sometimes feel like I should never share my photography with others ever again. I also know that if I dont share it, the gift is lost, esp when I hear from others that I have somehow been an ispiration to them. It is lost if I dont share it with my own children in creating a family journal and their scrapbook pages that they love so much.
I know there is more that I need to write - but for now cant find the right words. Maybe in daylight hours I will be able to write more. For now I will keep trying, I will keep trudging through the hard stuff, I will keep trying to not be a pain in the "you know where" to all of you who keep putting up with me. I will write and post more soon.
It is about 445AM - I have been awake since about 1AM. The time that I was asleep I was actively working on photography - it seems my brain cant relax lately.
I was so excited to get to do another family shoot this last weekend. We were blessed with very cold, but very beautiful weather. The mid-day lighting was very challenging but I was thrilled to get home and discover I was able to capture some pretty great shots. The 3 families I got to work with were really a lot of fun and allowed me to get to know them lots better than I already did.
My challenge has come in the processing of my picts.
I have been shooting in JPG format - but have been encouraged this last week to start trying to shoot in RAW and giving myself better ability to control the outcome of my photos.
The only thing is I am in no way, shape or form a "techy" - and trying to wade through manuals, tutorials, and gobbedly-gook instructions is making my brain explode, the tears flow and the chocolate being consumed "en masse"
In the meantime I have 2 sets of photos waiting to be processed and no clue how to do it. Plus the pressure of knowing I have clients waiting on these picts.
Preston is being an angel and putting up with all my emotional exposions by taking on the tech side of things - which makes me feel even worse that he is spending time doing my job instead of focusing on things he has to get done (work, military, church stuff ) before he goes out of town again. I feel completely overwhelmed and incompetent, and because I am, that he is always having to make up for all of my weaknesses and taking his own valuable time to fix or do all the things I fail at.
I recently talked with a gal in the other ward who is "pro" - and really have been feeling more discouraged and torn about myself and my photography since that time. She is a "high end $" photographer and very competitive with the other pro studio in town. I am not doing photography for the $ or to be competitive, but I feel I am more than just "a mom with a camera", as she put things. I know her opinion, or anyone else's, shouldnt matter - but with me still learning and trying to teach myself everything - others' suggestions and critiques and experience do matter.
I feel very strongly that I have a gift and talent that I can share - without having $ become the main focus - I know that we cant afford pro photos (part of the reason I am learning to do all this myself - we saved a ton this year by me taking photos for our own family) - I cant see myself charging an arm and a leg for families I know are in the same situation that we are, but who love to have picts done of their families and kiddos.
I know that this gift and talent is just that - a gift - that for whatever reason, was given to me to share - I want to learn more, develop this gift, help others, find the joy in being able to truly "see" the world around me, to get outside my comfort zone and get out there and meet new people. I love that every time I get behind the camera that I find a freedom and a creativity that flows through me and allows me the chance to grow and "see" - and not be afraid. I have ALWAYS been shy and afraid - have never been one of those "meet and greet" personalities. This is allowing me a chance to change that.
Battle #1 (besides still struggling with conquering correct lighting) is that I second guess myself at every shoot. I get so nervous I dont eat before a shoot and I shake and worry every minute that even though I am doing my very best - I am not going to be able to capture enough or have my work be good enough to give to others, that I will have wasted their time.
Battle #2 is the vast complexity of the photo enhancement programs. I am trying to read, trying to understand, trying to figure things out - but i just become more frustrated - esp knowing that I have taken some great picts that might need some tweaking here and there and I cant get it figured out. Esp knowing that I have clients waiting for picts.
Battle #3 is the whole business end of things. I advertise that I am friendly, efficient and professional. I try very hard to be all of those things and yet the $ always seems to get in the way. I still am trying to figure out what the best plan should be. Every shoot I have done has been completely different - large group, small, corporate, senior, how much time at a shoot, how much time at home doing tweaks, etc. Every shoot has brought new info to my attention that I havent even thought of and dont know how to compensate for.
I know that my time is valuable, and I would love to earn enough to expand my equipment and maybe be able to contribute to our family income. I also know that I cannot bring myself to charge horrendous amounts of $ - a gift is something to be shared, not charge admission for.
It is so hard to know what to do.
Battle #4 - I have been encouraged to join a professional photographers association and to attend an upcoming 4 day seminar. I have been told it is an amazing chance to learn about photography from others in every level of photography, workshops, practice, etc. The catch is that it would be almost $500 to be able to go.
Preston seems more than willing to do that - but I know we have cut back on everything extra to make ends meet and make sure all of household and family NEEDS are filled. To me, that much $ and me being away for 4 days seems selfish and frivilous - knowing that this is more in the lines of a hobby and that I am never intending to become a "cut-throat" photographer like others I have seen as they have come through the ranks. I dont know that my goals are to ever become so professional that I dont remember where I started, why I am doing this, or remember to be thankful for the gift I have been given to share with others. Throwing that much $ out there when I dont know what my goals are, or knowing that if I do ever get that far I will prob stay "free lance" seems like a very unwise thing to do.
Battle #5 - I think that I have pretty much become a royal nuisance through this process. I have asked too many questions, bugged too many people too many times. I am a very visual learner - I need to see and watch and ask. I have never been one to read and retain - esp when it comes to complicated tech stuff. In needing the visual side, I have cut myself off from that option because I am such a bother and have been too incompetent. I cant even get others to answer my emails or calls. In trying to teach myself and trying to learn from others I have ruined that chance.
This art has 2 sides - creativity and tech - and business, if it gets that far.
I think I am doing great on the creativity side - it has opened up a whole new world for me to see things that others dont, to appreciate and wonder at all of the creations and people around us.
I am doing horribly with the tech side - hampering my opportunity and ability to share with others the things that I see and feel through this art.
Without knowing every in and out of my camera, without being able to tweak or fix picts, because of my meager abilities, I cant create or capture the things my eyes see or that my heart feels, or create prints that I can share with someone else.
The joy is lessened or lost waiting and worrying about others' opinions (and then still not letting myself believe them even if they like the picts) or because $ has to be part of the business side.
I think that in the last few months that I have learned alot. I have experienced personal growth in lots of areas. I also sometimes feel like I should never share my photography with others ever again. I also know that if I dont share it, the gift is lost, esp when I hear from others that I have somehow been an ispiration to them. It is lost if I dont share it with my own children in creating a family journal and their scrapbook pages that they love so much.
I know there is more that I need to write - but for now cant find the right words. Maybe in daylight hours I will be able to write more. For now I will keep trying, I will keep trudging through the hard stuff, I will keep trying to not be a pain in the "you know where" to all of you who keep putting up with me. I will write and post more soon.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
RUNNING CRAZY
I know I havent had the chance to blog very much this last week. I have had 4 photo shoots in the last week as well as having extra stuff for preston and the kids going on. I am hoping to get some new stuff up soon - I have tons to share -
In the meantime if you havent looked at my 1st Santa Shoot on my photo blog, go take a look - photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com (or click the link at the top of gadget bar to the right) I had a blast with the kids and the picts turned out really great.
I know with Preston going out of town next week that I will prob be blogging and catching up on everything (esp since I prob wont be sleeping all that much with him gone).
There will be more to come soon!
In the meantime if you havent looked at my 1st Santa Shoot on my photo blog, go take a look - photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com (or click the link at the top of gadget bar to the right) I had a blast with the kids and the picts turned out really great.
I know with Preston going out of town next week that I will prob be blogging and catching up on everything (esp since I prob wont be sleeping all that much with him gone).
There will be more to come soon!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
BLUEBERRY MUFFIN BOY
I had gotten a good night's sleep - which hasnt happened for so long - and after I got Kels down for her nap I was feeling extra energetic and thought a fun project for Ky would be fun. One of his favorite foods is muffins - of any kind - so that is what we decided to make. I really surprised myself at being so relaxed and let Ky do as much as he wanted - which was everything! It was fun to let him because it let me get some super great picts of our fun morning together.
Can you tell that Ky doesnt like muffins at all? I love that tongue - he couldnt wait to get started when I told him we were going to make them.
He did a really great job with all the different steps. It was good practice for me to be patient and it was good practice for him to follow directions and do things by himself. Notice the CARS Filmore in his hand - I think he held onto that thing almost the whole time we were baking. I think he finally put it down when he decided having a muffin in each hand was better - pretty funny kiddo.
He liked watching the mixer - kids are fascinated by the most simple things - things we adults really take for granted every day - he liked watching me put it on the different speeds, he thought it was funny watching the batter fly around the bowl.
Can you tell that Ky doesnt like muffins at all? I love that tongue - he couldnt wait to get started when I told him we were going to make them.
He did a really great job with all the different steps. It was good practice for me to be patient and it was good practice for him to follow directions and do things by himself. Notice the CARS Filmore in his hand - I think he held onto that thing almost the whole time we were baking. I think he finally put it down when he decided having a muffin in each hand was better - pretty funny kiddo.
He liked watching the mixer - kids are fascinated by the most simple things - things we adults really take for granted every day - he liked watching me put it on the different speeds, he thought it was funny watching the batter fly around the bowl.
Part of our family rules about cooking is that cleaning up is just as important as the cooking. Ky did a great job cleaning up all the spills all along the way.
Ky had fun putting all the papers in the cupcake pan.
I was a bit hesitant to let Ky put the batter in the pan, it has been awhile since he has done any cooking with me. He is in that 2yr old stage "I want to do it myself!" - so I let him. Actually I was very impressed, he did a great job and didnt really make much mess at all - and it let me take lots of fun picts.
As you can see by the look on his face - he was VERY proud of himself that he made the muffins all by himself. He couldnt wait to eat them - I had to remind him they had to go in the oven first and get "cooked". He had a hard time letting me put them in the oven.
Ky had fun putting all the papers in the cupcake pan.
I was a bit hesitant to let Ky put the batter in the pan, it has been awhile since he has done any cooking with me. He is in that 2yr old stage "I want to do it myself!" - so I let him. Actually I was very impressed, he did a great job and didnt really make much mess at all - and it let me take lots of fun picts.
As you can see by the look on his face - he was VERY proud of himself that he made the muffins all by himself. He couldnt wait to eat them - I had to remind him they had to go in the oven first and get "cooked". He had a hard time letting me put them in the oven.
Ky was so excited about his muffins that he had to keep an eye on them every second. It was pretty funny watching him watching his muffins.
Ky was so proud and very ready to eat!
This is classic for Ky - the more he can get in at once the better. It is a "boy gene" thing in our family - I have to constantly work on with all the boys to remind them about small bites.
One muffin wasnt enough for Ky - you can see the two-handed thing still going on - he finished THREE muffins and expected me to let him eat the whole batch! He was pretty put out when I asked for him to share too - it was pretty funny - he finally let me have ONE. I really had to talk him into putting the rest away for later. Our family loves muffins - so you can guess these didnt last very long once the other kids discovered them too.
Ky was so proud and very ready to eat!
This is classic for Ky - the more he can get in at once the better. It is a "boy gene" thing in our family - I have to constantly work on with all the boys to remind them about small bites.
One muffin wasnt enough for Ky - you can see the two-handed thing still going on - he finished THREE muffins and expected me to let him eat the whole batch! He was pretty put out when I asked for him to share too - it was pretty funny - he finally let me have ONE. I really had to talk him into putting the rest away for later. Our family loves muffins - so you can guess these didnt last very long once the other kids discovered them too.
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