Many of you know that I attended a music convention in Chicago the week before Christmas. No, I don't know why Rory allowed the Army to book that particular trip, but I really did fly out on Monday the 15th with a return flight scheduled for Saturday the 20th.
Most of the week was bitterly cold - thank goodness the convention had contracted a shuttle service between the hotel where we were staying and the hotel where the convention activities were going on. The convention itself was great, with performances by some OUTSTANING groups. I'm talking about everything from middle school bands up through the US Army Field Band (and every other level in between). But this blog isn't about the weather or the food or even the music ... it's about the TRAVEL.
Saturday continued a string of VERY cold days, but the music was awesome. (Search on YouTube for MIDWEST CLINIC to get a sampling.) Of the six from our band who had attended the clinic, three of us had modified our flight itinerary so we could hear the final group - a community band from Japan. One guy had flown out the day before, one had a very early flight and the other was at the airport. During the concert we started getting text messages: the early flight was delayed 1.5 hours, the later one delayed even longer. By the time the concert was over two of our wives had received automated voicemails from United Airlines that our flight had actually been CANCELED. So began the string of events.
We had already checked out of our hotel, but we decided to head back there to pick up our stored bags before heading to the airport. We then got smart and decided instead to start calling around to gather more info. If we went straight to the airport and the flight was canceled, then United would have put us up in a hotel. But maybe there were other options, such as flying a different airline or to another city and taking the train. John got himself into the 25-minute "hold queue" on his phone while I canceled our shuttle back to the airport. I checked with the concierge to get a phone number for Amtrak to check on our options.
Amtrak was a dead end - every route from San Francisco or Seattle in to Portland was already completely booked between that time and Monday night. (Turns out there was an Amtrak derailment in Portland over the weekend, so that would have been even worse if we had found seats available and taken them.) John finally got through to United and was told we would be rebooked, but the earliest available flight was Monday night. A little more digging revealed that ALL flights into Portland had been CANCELED by then. The guy on the early flight had apparently been on the last one allowed to take off. The second airport guy had been moved into a hotel until his Monday morning rebooking.
After contacting our full-time admin staff we were told to simply do whatever we needed to, and they would amend the orders later on. We were able to book rooms in the hotel (apparently Matt and I got the last available non-smoking room) and hauled bags back upstairs.
So there we were with at least two extra days in Chicago. At the concierge's suggestion we stopped by a place called "HotTix" that sells same-day tickets for a discount. Thus we were able to get tickets for that evening's 10pm show by the Blue Man Group. Sweet! The next day (Sunday) John found two more shows in town, and Matt did one as well. Not a bad way to pass the time!
By Monday we had figured out the right websites to monitor flight status at PDX. Many of the other airlines were still canceling flights, but the first United flights of the morning reported delays then departure. Good sign. Eventually we got word from the guy on the morning flight that they had departed, but ended up making an extra stop in Seattle. Something about needing additional fuel ... I still don't have the whole story. Anyway I got some work done from the hotel room until our checkout time, and then ended up spending another three hours working from an over-stuffed chair in the hotel hallway. Deadlines ...
Finally our time had arrived. Our shuttle got us through rush-hour traffic and to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Good thing, based on the lines at the United counter when we got there. Of course after waiting in the huge line we were told we needed to hit the "Special Services" line instead, so they could waive the baggage fees (special military deal). Eventually we got all the bags checked and made our way through security. Wouldn't you know ... that snow globe I was hand-carrying is not allowed in the cabin. I guess TSA gets a little uppity when they can't test the liquid inside those sorts of things, so I couldnt' take it with me. Since it was 6:30 on a Saturday evening there wasn't much chance of me finding an open Post Office or UPS store either. I ended up back in that "Special Services" line asking to have this little box put on the plane as checked baggage. That scored some interesting looks from the ticket agent. But she took the box, made me sign a waiver in case the globe was damaged, and we figured out a way to attach the luggage tags.
I caught up with the other two guys with just enough time to wolf down some pizza before heading to our gate. I noticed that the signage all indicated that gate was for a flight to Harrisbug, but the reader board and our boarding passes said that was for our flight too. By about 8:00 before our 8:19 scheduled flight an agent came onto the intercom and said the plane scheduled to fly to Portland had just landed. Unfortunately the plane current at the gate was in the way. "Either they'll push off this plane and yours will arrive here, or we'll change gate assignments, or we'll all just be stuck here. I'll let you know." Poor airport humor I guess. They ended up changing our gate assignment.
At the next gate there was also a plane already there. But after only a few minutes it pushed off and ours moved in. I think it was about 8:20, and the NEXT flight scheduled for that gate was supposed to leave at 8:45. Well, that didn't happen. Our 8:19 flight got moved back to 8:34 then 8:50 and finally to 9:09. Interesting that they posted lists of standby passengers as those folks were given seat assignments ... there were 70 people hoping to board. We talked to one guy who had come to the airport on Saturday, but after the flights started to be canceled he saw standby lists of over THREE HUNDRED. It was a relief to finally board.
The flight itself was fairly uneventful, at least compared to everything else that happened.
As we taxied to the terminal at PDX the first officer told us over the intercom that there would be "no reason to hurry to pick up checked baggage... something about too many bags and not enough people." The meaning behind that statement became very clear after wading through the mass of folks sleeping anywhere and everywhere throughout the concourse. The bag claim area is downstairs, and I am not kidding when I estimate there were over 1000 people down there. Between all the carousels, in just about every available square foot of flooring, were rows and rows and ROWS of baggage. The area where the oversized bags are picked up was stacked to the ceiling. I'm talking about THOUSANDS of pieces of luggage. Thus "too many bags." I overheard one of the few baggage handlers mention to a co-worker that he was probably the only full-timer on duty that night, making me think the rest must have been part-time or seasonal help. Thus "not enough people."
With nothing to do but wait for our bags to emerge from the black hole in the wall, we inched up closer to the carousel to wait. And that's what we did - wait. And wait. And wait some more. Eventually we saw some bags come out that were from flight 371 ... the flight from Chicago to PDX scheduled two hours AFTER ours! Huh? Turns out that when that flight landed they didn't have a gate available. So while it was sitting on the tarmac the under-staffed baggage crew unloaded the plane. So all those bags started coming out but there was nobody there to pick them up! Finally the handlers carved out a bit more floor space and started stacking up that luggage too.
Finally our bags started to emerge. I was fortunate that mine came off early, and a cheer went up from the crowd when they saw me grab my bags. I got lots of "Hey buddy, what flight were you on?" and "You came in from O'Hare, right?" as I squeezed through the masses. Since it was well after the last Blue Lot shuttle for the night, I proceeded to the Red Lot bus and waited some more. (Usually there aren't that many people, so the Red Lot bus does double-duty.) After all that I finally got back to my truck, or what I could see of it anyway.
The week had dumped snow, laid down sheets of ice, and the plows had cleared the bus path leaving a nice mound behind all the cars. The space between the truck and the adjacent car had filled up with blown snow that was up to my knees. There was a "snow side" and an "ice side" and I was lucky that the driver's side only had snow. Not sure I would have been able to get my key into the door on an "ice side." I fired up the defroster and got to work on the snow. Of course I don't have an ice scraper in the truck (don't ever need one), so all I could really do was wait for the vehicle to warm up. The windshield wipers had become encased in ice so they weren't moving - I tried lifting them up by and, and pulled up a chunk of ice off the windshield with it. After awhile I tested the power windows, and on the passenger side (the "ice side") the window actually DID go down ... leaving behind an intact layer of ice! Pretty cool.
So about 2:00 I could finally see out the windows. I put the truck in reverse and moved about a foot. That's when I hit that snow bank from the plows. Okay ... I moved back to the front of the parking space and tried to gather a bit more speed. Another few inches of progress. This went on for about 20 cycles before I got the back tires over the drift. A few inches at a time, rocking front and back, slightly turning the wheel each time, I finally coaxed the truck out of the parking space and pointed the right direction. Sheesh.
The roads in Portland weren't actually that bad. Those familiar with the area might remember "the hill" on I-205 heading towards Oregon City, where the freeway crosses the river before going back down the hill and making a right-turn towards I-5. That's about where things started to get bad. I am not convinced that the crews had actually plowed the freeway at all, as the roads were either snow-packed or ice-rutted. Where the snow pack was in place it was so bumpy that any speed above about 25mph was rattling teeth loose. The ice ruts were something like the tracked cars at an amusement park - once you were in the ruts it was VERY hard to get out of them. That was the situation from Oregon City all the way THROUGH Salem.
Between Wilsonville and Woodburn is a 24-hour gas stop, and I pulled in about 4am. The attendant was slow in coming over as they were helping the tanker truck get situated to refill their underground tanks. He finally did and said "I hope you didn't want any gas!?!" Something about handing the guy a sign went through my mind, but I refrained. Instead I replied that indeed I was hoping to purchase petrol for my motor coach. Then another guy pulled in to the pump behind. "Well, we've been working for an hour to dig out the connection for the tanker and we're really low on fuel. But I guess I'll just pump for the two of you." Fine by me.
The rest of the trip was uneventful but slow, I got home about 5am. Since I needed to upload several hours worth of work I tried to VPN to the office, but of course there was some security update that I needed first. Too bad Windows Update found thirteen items to download and install, which I had to do before I could connect. So it was about 6:30 when I finally got to bed.
Anyway that's some of my memories of Monday's travels. If I remember any other pertinent info I'll make updates here.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
WINTER WONDERLAND
This last week we did end up getting snowed in. The other day we woke up to SNOW - fluffy, powdery, lovely SNOW. It was exciting to me to get my camera out and see what I could capture. I was able to get some pretty amazing shots. Make sure and check them out on my photo blog - they were just too wonderful and needed to be "shown off"
The kids have done really well this week for the most part. They have made tons of treats and homemade bread. They have also had their fill of friend playdates anytime they have wanted. They had a blast enjoying all the snow and the time to just rest and do fun things without any time constraints.
It has been lovely for me to know we dont have to get up and rush around every morning and that bedtime has been negotiable.
It was not lovely for me to get a phone call from my husband this morning confirming that his flight home had been cancelled. Our weather has been so bad it completely shut down the airport. He is expected to be delayed until Tues. If the weather will calm down he should be able to fly out sometime in the middle of the night Monday and arrive home Tues AM. It will make for a long day for all of us. The kids were especially disappointed as they had a special project waiting for him to help them with. We will need to go ahead and just have it ready for him to see when he gets home. I know he will love it no matter what, but he and the kids are both sad to not get that special time together. We will be so glad to have him home with us again soon.
The kids have done really well this week for the most part. They have made tons of treats and homemade bread. They have also had their fill of friend playdates anytime they have wanted. They had a blast enjoying all the snow and the time to just rest and do fun things without any time constraints.
It has been lovely for me to know we dont have to get up and rush around every morning and that bedtime has been negotiable.
It was not lovely for me to get a phone call from my husband this morning confirming that his flight home had been cancelled. Our weather has been so bad it completely shut down the airport. He is expected to be delayed until Tues. If the weather will calm down he should be able to fly out sometime in the middle of the night Monday and arrive home Tues AM. It will make for a long day for all of us. The kids were especially disappointed as they had a special project waiting for him to help them with. We will need to go ahead and just have it ready for him to see when he gets home. I know he will love it no matter what, but he and the kids are both sad to not get that special time together. We will be so glad to have him home with us again soon.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
BOYS ARE A SPECIES ALL THEIR OWN
I have tried to stop laughing long enough to post about my sons. Boys really are in a genre all their own - they do stuff my girls never did...
Tonight Colton has been spinning himself(lack of outside time with temps being in the teens). He stands right in the middle of the room and looks right up at the new light fixture in the office and spins and spins - and then he stops and says - "look mom, the room spins all by itself!"
He then proceeded to RUN out of the office - hitting the dining room chair and bouncing himself off the chair so hard he bounced across and also hit the dining room sliding door before hitting the floor (imagine a pinball machine)- mind you there was PLENTY of space for him to get out the door and past the table...
He comes running back to tell me "the chair jumped out and got in the way!" He had gotten himself so dizzy and run out the door, not knowing what would happen by not having his equilibrium back...
It was hard to not laugh hysterically while trying to comfort him (he bonked his shoulder pretty hard besides being WAY overtired) Poor thing - and funny kid. He doesnt seem to be any worse for the wear though - tough kid too.
Who needs TV or movies or expensive entertainment when you have kids around? He is such a cutie but also can be such a goofball.
Ky is my other goofball tonight. He came downstairs earlier today with his mouth and tongue a dark blue - he had been in the playroom so my only guess was that he had gotten into Preston's game table box - and eaten the pool cue chalk. I took wipes to his mouth, hands and his tongue. The kids looked for the chalk but never found it. Just a little bit ago my suspicions were confirmed when he again came downstairs with his hands and mouth dark blue - and the missing pool cue chalk in his hand. You would think it didnt taste good the first time - apparently he didnt mind it....
He blows me away at the things he finds - and still puts in his mouth. I think things are put away somewhere he cant find them or get to them - and he still does. A couple of weeks ago he raided Ceana's room and came down with his hands (and his mouth)full of hard candy she had been saving. He also found a rogue SHARPIE (yes, that's right folks - PERMANENT marker) - which I keep way up high on the fridge - and chose the wall in the family room as his choice of canvas for his artwork (we will be re-painting - eventually). He also has figured out how to use his toes to literally climb the cupboards and does a chin up as he pulls himself up onto the countertops (he was caught pilfering a plate of cookies that should have been out of his reach)
My girls NEVER did these kinds of things - and the stuff Ky pulls is even stuff the other boys never did. What is it that is so different about braincells in girls vs boys? They are SOOO different, so challenging and so hilarious!
Tonight Colton has been spinning himself(lack of outside time with temps being in the teens). He stands right in the middle of the room and looks right up at the new light fixture in the office and spins and spins - and then he stops and says - "look mom, the room spins all by itself!"
He then proceeded to RUN out of the office - hitting the dining room chair and bouncing himself off the chair so hard he bounced across and also hit the dining room sliding door before hitting the floor (imagine a pinball machine)- mind you there was PLENTY of space for him to get out the door and past the table...
He comes running back to tell me "the chair jumped out and got in the way!" He had gotten himself so dizzy and run out the door, not knowing what would happen by not having his equilibrium back...
It was hard to not laugh hysterically while trying to comfort him (he bonked his shoulder pretty hard besides being WAY overtired) Poor thing - and funny kid. He doesnt seem to be any worse for the wear though - tough kid too.
Who needs TV or movies or expensive entertainment when you have kids around? He is such a cutie but also can be such a goofball.
Ky is my other goofball tonight. He came downstairs earlier today with his mouth and tongue a dark blue - he had been in the playroom so my only guess was that he had gotten into Preston's game table box - and eaten the pool cue chalk. I took wipes to his mouth, hands and his tongue. The kids looked for the chalk but never found it. Just a little bit ago my suspicions were confirmed when he again came downstairs with his hands and mouth dark blue - and the missing pool cue chalk in his hand. You would think it didnt taste good the first time - apparently he didnt mind it....
He blows me away at the things he finds - and still puts in his mouth. I think things are put away somewhere he cant find them or get to them - and he still does. A couple of weeks ago he raided Ceana's room and came down with his hands (and his mouth)full of hard candy she had been saving. He also found a rogue SHARPIE (yes, that's right folks - PERMANENT marker) - which I keep way up high on the fridge - and chose the wall in the family room as his choice of canvas for his artwork (we will be re-painting - eventually). He also has figured out how to use his toes to literally climb the cupboards and does a chin up as he pulls himself up onto the countertops (he was caught pilfering a plate of cookies that should have been out of his reach)
My girls NEVER did these kinds of things - and the stuff Ky pulls is even stuff the other boys never did. What is it that is so different about braincells in girls vs boys? They are SOOO different, so challenging and so hilarious!
SNOWED IN FOR GOOD?
We woke up to big fat flakes of snow on Sunday morning - which kept lots of families from getting anywhere and resulted in cancelling church - THAT is very rare. The way things look this week with continued nasty weather and water lines freezing and bursting in the building may keep us away again this week....
We have watched the snow and ice come down and the wind blow. We have also watched the school district online calendar for posts about closures. Sure enough Mon, Tues & Wed have been cancelled because of weather conditions. I am guessing we are done for the week as we have continued to get cancellation phone calls about school and community events we were supposed to participate in. It also has kept us from doing any traveling which also resulted in no dentist or ortho appts we have had scheduled for the last 6 months. The kids arent so upset about the appointments as they are about our tradition of going out to lunch as a family afterward (the kids get great restaurant certificates for good check ups).
Soooo, here we are on day FOUR of being here at home. I can say that the weather has been a blessing for our family. Our week was supposed to be bezerk while Preston is away and instead we have had every day here at home to sleep, play, cook, and just downshift (something we have all needed badly). Because of all the cancellations Preston is not missing any of the kids' recitals or awards ceremonies, he is not missing our family appts. He is also not missing the nasty weather - Chicago has been about 5 degrees with yucky snow and winds.
We have tried hard to enjoy our time together. The kids have had a ton of fun playing outside in the snow - I have taken some great picts! They have enjoyed having extra time to play with their friends - they even did a play and made their own video of it! They loved that!
The kids have spent lots of time playing games. They have had fun making treats and baking bread(which I didnt get picts of). They have had fun taking naps (which I did get picts of). They have also enjoyed helping me train the dogs to be in the house more. They have a little pen they usually stay in but with everyone home we have let them branch out and I have been pleasantly surprised that they have done really well and havent had any accidents in the house or chewed up anything.
Kels is slowly warming up to the idea of the dogs being in her space - she screamed hysterically yesterday anytime the dogs got anywhere near her! she would only stop screaming if one of us was holding her up away from them. It was funny and not. She is doing much better today and was even on the floor with them. She wasnt too thrilled when LJ gave her kisses though. I am hoping that as the dogs do better and Kels gets bigger that they will grow to really enjoy each other. It will mean lots of adventures for all of them:)
I have been using my time to work on photography. The change in weather has given amazing opportunities for taking outdoor picts. It has also given me time to work on Lightroom and Photoshop and get picts cleaned up and out to clients. I am still working on one set of picts that I am having some challenges with. My monitor says they look great - my laptop not so much - and my prints are way off. The weather has kept me away from the print store to figure out how to make corrections and why my monitor and the prints are so different. A previous set of prints were great - so we are guessing it was a lab mistake. I have to have these set of picts completely done and printed in the next 2 weeks or less though, so it is making me a bit nervous.
The weather has also given me time to stew and worry about a new CERT position I have been asked to take on. With everyone home I have been in "mom" mode 24-7 for everyone and havent had the time to make phone calls without multiple interruptions. I need to just make myself do it - even though it terrifies me. I feel so unqualified and yet others are waiting on me to get things going. I am very torn as to what to do. My people skills are more than horrible when my mouth has to do all the work. When I can get behind the camera it is completely different - my eye is doing all the hard work, not always my mouth, and it is playtime. When I am needing to talk and interact with others, esp in a leadership position, or needing to request assistance or represent others besides myself it is a HUGE challenge. I just know I am going to mess up and mis-represent our program because when I get nervous my mouth makes even more mistakes. I just need to "bite the bullet" and get the phone calls over with. It is a hard decision.
Well, guess that is our update for now. I have tons of picts I will be posting here and also on my photo blog - so watch for those soon!
We have watched the snow and ice come down and the wind blow. We have also watched the school district online calendar for posts about closures. Sure enough Mon, Tues & Wed have been cancelled because of weather conditions. I am guessing we are done for the week as we have continued to get cancellation phone calls about school and community events we were supposed to participate in. It also has kept us from doing any traveling which also resulted in no dentist or ortho appts we have had scheduled for the last 6 months. The kids arent so upset about the appointments as they are about our tradition of going out to lunch as a family afterward (the kids get great restaurant certificates for good check ups).
Soooo, here we are on day FOUR of being here at home. I can say that the weather has been a blessing for our family. Our week was supposed to be bezerk while Preston is away and instead we have had every day here at home to sleep, play, cook, and just downshift (something we have all needed badly). Because of all the cancellations Preston is not missing any of the kids' recitals or awards ceremonies, he is not missing our family appts. He is also not missing the nasty weather - Chicago has been about 5 degrees with yucky snow and winds.
We have tried hard to enjoy our time together. The kids have had a ton of fun playing outside in the snow - I have taken some great picts! They have enjoyed having extra time to play with their friends - they even did a play and made their own video of it! They loved that!
The kids have spent lots of time playing games. They have had fun making treats and baking bread(which I didnt get picts of). They have had fun taking naps (which I did get picts of). They have also enjoyed helping me train the dogs to be in the house more. They have a little pen they usually stay in but with everyone home we have let them branch out and I have been pleasantly surprised that they have done really well and havent had any accidents in the house or chewed up anything.
Kels is slowly warming up to the idea of the dogs being in her space - she screamed hysterically yesterday anytime the dogs got anywhere near her! she would only stop screaming if one of us was holding her up away from them. It was funny and not. She is doing much better today and was even on the floor with them. She wasnt too thrilled when LJ gave her kisses though. I am hoping that as the dogs do better and Kels gets bigger that they will grow to really enjoy each other. It will mean lots of adventures for all of them:)
I have been using my time to work on photography. The change in weather has given amazing opportunities for taking outdoor picts. It has also given me time to work on Lightroom and Photoshop and get picts cleaned up and out to clients. I am still working on one set of picts that I am having some challenges with. My monitor says they look great - my laptop not so much - and my prints are way off. The weather has kept me away from the print store to figure out how to make corrections and why my monitor and the prints are so different. A previous set of prints were great - so we are guessing it was a lab mistake. I have to have these set of picts completely done and printed in the next 2 weeks or less though, so it is making me a bit nervous.
The weather has also given me time to stew and worry about a new CERT position I have been asked to take on. With everyone home I have been in "mom" mode 24-7 for everyone and havent had the time to make phone calls without multiple interruptions. I need to just make myself do it - even though it terrifies me. I feel so unqualified and yet others are waiting on me to get things going. I am very torn as to what to do. My people skills are more than horrible when my mouth has to do all the work. When I can get behind the camera it is completely different - my eye is doing all the hard work, not always my mouth, and it is playtime. When I am needing to talk and interact with others, esp in a leadership position, or needing to request assistance or represent others besides myself it is a HUGE challenge. I just know I am going to mess up and mis-represent our program because when I get nervous my mouth makes even more mistakes. I just need to "bite the bullet" and get the phone calls over with. It is a hard decision.
Well, guess that is our update for now. I have tons of picts I will be posting here and also on my photo blog - so watch for those soon!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
NEW POSTS COMING SOON!
OK, so I know I havent posted in quite awhile - I have been extra busy!
We have had unusual weather - including snow, ice, VERY cold temps - so I have had kiddos home all day, every day. That actually has been pretty fun - it has been nice to not have to go anywhere and have a whole day to cook, play, read, sleep, etc. It also has given me the opportunity to take some AMAZING pictures! It has also given me the opportunity to play with my camera ALOT. I have been so proud of myself for taking most of these picts with all of my manual settings. Some of them were in auto mode - I will be researching those in Lightroom to see what camera settings were so I can practice more. I feel I have learned a ton though and it is amazing to see the difference that manual settings can make.
Speaking of Lightroom - my last photography post shared my frustrations about the complicated software programs I am learning. I have actually been impressed with Lightroom as it has helped me keep and fix picts I would have otherwise thrown away. Until I can get everything perfect "in camera" it is helping me to learn about what my camera "sees" and does, because it posts all the specific information captured in a RAW image (which I have also been still playing with) Lightroom does not keep that info for JPG files - but it does still allow me to fix and tweak things better.
I will most likely be posting my favorite winter and still photos on my photo blog ( photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com) so be sure to keep checking that out. If you are here on the family blog it should show an update on the direct link when I have added new. I will prob be adding alot soon though so you may need to go to the "labels" list to look at them too.
I have felt so much better about my photography - still and nature and landscape is what I do best - things that DONT move (for the most part) - things that I can take with different settings or in different time frames (like sunrises) and get completely different picts. I tried my hand at photographing birds. With the snow the birds have been eating the berries off the tree in our front yard - yesterday I spent about an hour taking picts - some actually are really great - I have never done birds before - it was amazing to watch them and try to capture their antics and beauty - something I will definately try for again.
Anyway - just wanted to mostly give everyone the "heads up" that most of my posts in the next few days will be on the photo blog. I will put some fun stuff here too - the kids decorating our tree was great fun - just watch for LOTS more to be posted soon -k-
We have had unusual weather - including snow, ice, VERY cold temps - so I have had kiddos home all day, every day. That actually has been pretty fun - it has been nice to not have to go anywhere and have a whole day to cook, play, read, sleep, etc. It also has given me the opportunity to take some AMAZING pictures! It has also given me the opportunity to play with my camera ALOT. I have been so proud of myself for taking most of these picts with all of my manual settings. Some of them were in auto mode - I will be researching those in Lightroom to see what camera settings were so I can practice more. I feel I have learned a ton though and it is amazing to see the difference that manual settings can make.
Speaking of Lightroom - my last photography post shared my frustrations about the complicated software programs I am learning. I have actually been impressed with Lightroom as it has helped me keep and fix picts I would have otherwise thrown away. Until I can get everything perfect "in camera" it is helping me to learn about what my camera "sees" and does, because it posts all the specific information captured in a RAW image (which I have also been still playing with) Lightroom does not keep that info for JPG files - but it does still allow me to fix and tweak things better.
I will most likely be posting my favorite winter and still photos on my photo blog ( photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com) so be sure to keep checking that out. If you are here on the family blog it should show an update on the direct link when I have added new. I will prob be adding alot soon though so you may need to go to the "labels" list to look at them too.
I have felt so much better about my photography - still and nature and landscape is what I do best - things that DONT move (for the most part) - things that I can take with different settings or in different time frames (like sunrises) and get completely different picts. I tried my hand at photographing birds. With the snow the birds have been eating the berries off the tree in our front yard - yesterday I spent about an hour taking picts - some actually are really great - I have never done birds before - it was amazing to watch them and try to capture their antics and beauty - something I will definately try for again.
Anyway - just wanted to mostly give everyone the "heads up" that most of my posts in the next few days will be on the photo blog. I will put some fun stuff here too - the kids decorating our tree was great fun - just watch for LOTS more to be posted soon -k-
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
7 IMPORTANT DATES
A friend recently posted on her blog a quote from some time ago. The jist of the message was remembering special times in your life. Can you think of the 7 most important dates in your life up until now? I am tagging the following fellow-bloggers - Kymberly, Allison, Amanda, Lish, Julia, Kenna, Denise - have fun!
Here are my most memorable dates:
July 4th - My birthday and my cousin's birthday are on either side of the 4th of july. All the time I was growing up we always celebrated our birthdays together on the 4th. When I was extra little I thought that I was so lucky that everyone was celebrating my birthday with me because there was always a big party and fireworks and everything. The first year after we moved to OR was probably the 1st year my cousin and I didnt celebrate together. I know we both missed it - and still do. It is something special we will always share together because of all the memories we had.
April 29, 1989 - The day I was baptized. I remember the whole experience leading up to my baptism was pretty traumatizing - friends and family turned their backs on me, a step- grandfather who would swear a blue streak and spout as much anti-mormon garbage as he could, esp in my presence. I never had the same set of missionaries twice, there was much I still did not understand, there was never any support at home, I attended church by myself every week and was never really accepted into my home ward. I cant say that I remember much of that day. I look at picts but cannot necessarily put memories with them.
What is important about that day is where I am now. It has been a long, hard road with more mistakes and wasted time than I can even begin to describe - but because of that decision that day - the rest of my life has been truly blessed - I have the gospel in my life and I am able to be the 1st one in my family to be able to give that gift to my children. Because of that decision my children are in being raised in a safe, happy, gospel-centered home. Because of the gospel I have been given a great gift and blessing of knowledge and truth. A gift that I can never deny, and that I know with every fiber of me is true. I know that I would be a very different person now without the gospel light in my life. I am grateful for it every day and to know that it has shaped me into the person that I am and the person that I hope to become.
July 21, 1993 - The day I married my best friend. Again, I think being so young and naive, the day is quite a blur for me. I didnt understand on that day where it would bring me. I have been blessed to have a strong, kind, patient, loving, forgiving man who loves me unconditionally and gives everything without expecting anything in return. It amazes me that he has put up with me all these years :) I know that I would be very lost without him. I am thankful every minute of every day that he is by my side and that we walk together through life's joys and tears, adventures and mis-adventures. He is my angel here on Earth and I am truly blessed to know that he loves me and that he is mine.
January 25, 1995 - The day our oldest daughter was born. In this I will also group in my other kiddos - July 9, July 22, Feb 4, May 10, May 15. Each of these dates holds cherished memories of a new little person that joined our family. Each of my children is a jewel and I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to be their mother here on this Earth. I often have people ask me what it was like before I had children - I always tease that I slept alot more :) But it truly is hard to remember what it was like before they joined our life. When you have a child you dont just love them, you fall in love with them, and they change your life and your heart forever. Their personalities are all so different and each brings something special to our family and our home. They are a joy and a true blessing in my life.
Spring 2003 - My dearest aunt Mary passed away. She had been battling cancer for some time. It still came as a shock. She was beloved by so many of us in the family - esp us girls. Some of my most cherished childhood memories were spent staying in her home every Summer and learning to cook and play anything our imagination could come up with. My cousin and I came up with some pretty wild ideas - and Aunt Mary always encouraged us and enjoyed laughing and playing with us. She ingrained in me a love of cooking and baking - she was a master. After she was gone it was so hard when I would pick up the phone to call her and then remember she wasnt there. I still think of her - esp when I need help or advice with cooking or family history - we girls always knew that Aunt Mary could answer any question we ever had. She was a master of cooking, playing, baking, and family history, but most especially of loving. She is still dearly missed and I know she always will be.
April 2003 - This month held many changes in my life. It is funny that it ended up being right close to my baptism day - almost the exact date. Two major things happened - I walked away from a life of abuse and pain and the family who caused it, and I legally changed my name.
Both things caused great heartache and yet both things led me to to a life of hope and happiness and peace for myself and my own family - just like my baptism did.
I have had many different people voice their opinions about both events, but in the end both were my choices to make. No matter what anyone else thinks or says they can never understand the pain I endured from the things I went through, or the joy and peace of what my life is like now. Both have been positive choices with joy and safety and peace for me and my children. Knowing that I am living my life as I choose and raising my children in the safety and peace of the gospel and the safety and love of our home makes those choices all the more important. My choice to stand tall and strong and true, finally, have made all the difference to my children and to me - and that is the most important of all.
September 2000 - The day my first child entered kindergarten. She was so MORE than ready to go to school. I remember she told me she was fine and I didnt need to stay. I told her I was staying anyway - and then I cried and cried after I got home. She was a little snippet of a thing, with a "dorothy hamil" haircut, so tiny and yet so much more mature than her almost 6 years. She was already reading and already doing more than most of her peers. School was just what she needed.
Each time one of my kiddos goes to kindergarten I cry - for happiness and sadness. It is wonderful to watch the kids change and grow and learn and yet I want them to stay little and not change. I have another little guy in kindergarten again this year - it has been more challenging with him as he has always been our "special needs" kiddo. He has made amazing progress in many areas and still has concerns in others. He loves being there though and it makes me happy that he is happy and enjoying this school experience.
I love watching him learn new things and grow bigger and yet I wish I could hold onto this moment and freeze time, it is somewhere we will never be again with him. That thought of time ever changing, kiddos ever growing and learning makes my heart happy and sad - all the sweet memories of him (and the other kids) being small and of the past, and all the possibilities of the future rolled into one. When the heart is overflowing usually, for me, so are the tears.
I am sure there are more things that I could think of to add - but for now, these are the things that come to mind. I am looking forward to seeing what others post soon about your favorite and memorable dates!
Here are my most memorable dates:
July 4th - My birthday and my cousin's birthday are on either side of the 4th of july. All the time I was growing up we always celebrated our birthdays together on the 4th. When I was extra little I thought that I was so lucky that everyone was celebrating my birthday with me because there was always a big party and fireworks and everything. The first year after we moved to OR was probably the 1st year my cousin and I didnt celebrate together. I know we both missed it - and still do. It is something special we will always share together because of all the memories we had.
April 29, 1989 - The day I was baptized. I remember the whole experience leading up to my baptism was pretty traumatizing - friends and family turned their backs on me, a step- grandfather who would swear a blue streak and spout as much anti-mormon garbage as he could, esp in my presence. I never had the same set of missionaries twice, there was much I still did not understand, there was never any support at home, I attended church by myself every week and was never really accepted into my home ward. I cant say that I remember much of that day. I look at picts but cannot necessarily put memories with them.
What is important about that day is where I am now. It has been a long, hard road with more mistakes and wasted time than I can even begin to describe - but because of that decision that day - the rest of my life has been truly blessed - I have the gospel in my life and I am able to be the 1st one in my family to be able to give that gift to my children. Because of that decision my children are in being raised in a safe, happy, gospel-centered home. Because of the gospel I have been given a great gift and blessing of knowledge and truth. A gift that I can never deny, and that I know with every fiber of me is true. I know that I would be a very different person now without the gospel light in my life. I am grateful for it every day and to know that it has shaped me into the person that I am and the person that I hope to become.
July 21, 1993 - The day I married my best friend. Again, I think being so young and naive, the day is quite a blur for me. I didnt understand on that day where it would bring me. I have been blessed to have a strong, kind, patient, loving, forgiving man who loves me unconditionally and gives everything without expecting anything in return. It amazes me that he has put up with me all these years :) I know that I would be very lost without him. I am thankful every minute of every day that he is by my side and that we walk together through life's joys and tears, adventures and mis-adventures. He is my angel here on Earth and I am truly blessed to know that he loves me and that he is mine.
January 25, 1995 - The day our oldest daughter was born. In this I will also group in my other kiddos - July 9, July 22, Feb 4, May 10, May 15. Each of these dates holds cherished memories of a new little person that joined our family. Each of my children is a jewel and I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to be their mother here on this Earth. I often have people ask me what it was like before I had children - I always tease that I slept alot more :) But it truly is hard to remember what it was like before they joined our life. When you have a child you dont just love them, you fall in love with them, and they change your life and your heart forever. Their personalities are all so different and each brings something special to our family and our home. They are a joy and a true blessing in my life.
Spring 2003 - My dearest aunt Mary passed away. She had been battling cancer for some time. It still came as a shock. She was beloved by so many of us in the family - esp us girls. Some of my most cherished childhood memories were spent staying in her home every Summer and learning to cook and play anything our imagination could come up with. My cousin and I came up with some pretty wild ideas - and Aunt Mary always encouraged us and enjoyed laughing and playing with us. She ingrained in me a love of cooking and baking - she was a master. After she was gone it was so hard when I would pick up the phone to call her and then remember she wasnt there. I still think of her - esp when I need help or advice with cooking or family history - we girls always knew that Aunt Mary could answer any question we ever had. She was a master of cooking, playing, baking, and family history, but most especially of loving. She is still dearly missed and I know she always will be.
April 2003 - This month held many changes in my life. It is funny that it ended up being right close to my baptism day - almost the exact date. Two major things happened - I walked away from a life of abuse and pain and the family who caused it, and I legally changed my name.
Both things caused great heartache and yet both things led me to to a life of hope and happiness and peace for myself and my own family - just like my baptism did.
I have had many different people voice their opinions about both events, but in the end both were my choices to make. No matter what anyone else thinks or says they can never understand the pain I endured from the things I went through, or the joy and peace of what my life is like now. Both have been positive choices with joy and safety and peace for me and my children. Knowing that I am living my life as I choose and raising my children in the safety and peace of the gospel and the safety and love of our home makes those choices all the more important. My choice to stand tall and strong and true, finally, have made all the difference to my children and to me - and that is the most important of all.
September 2000 - The day my first child entered kindergarten. She was so MORE than ready to go to school. I remember she told me she was fine and I didnt need to stay. I told her I was staying anyway - and then I cried and cried after I got home. She was a little snippet of a thing, with a "dorothy hamil" haircut, so tiny and yet so much more mature than her almost 6 years. She was already reading and already doing more than most of her peers. School was just what she needed.
Each time one of my kiddos goes to kindergarten I cry - for happiness and sadness. It is wonderful to watch the kids change and grow and learn and yet I want them to stay little and not change. I have another little guy in kindergarten again this year - it has been more challenging with him as he has always been our "special needs" kiddo. He has made amazing progress in many areas and still has concerns in others. He loves being there though and it makes me happy that he is happy and enjoying this school experience.
I love watching him learn new things and grow bigger and yet I wish I could hold onto this moment and freeze time, it is somewhere we will never be again with him. That thought of time ever changing, kiddos ever growing and learning makes my heart happy and sad - all the sweet memories of him (and the other kids) being small and of the past, and all the possibilities of the future rolled into one. When the heart is overflowing usually, for me, so are the tears.
I am sure there are more things that I could think of to add - but for now, these are the things that come to mind. I am looking forward to seeing what others post soon about your favorite and memorable dates!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
BEATING THE WINTER BLUES
We have been experiencing all sorts of weather this month - torrential rain, freezing temperatures, gorgeous blue skies, you name it and we have probably experienced it. With the ever changing weather and the freezing temperatures the boys have been feeling extra cooped up. I discovered we had an extra mattress when I was doing some re-arranging of bedrooms. It became the perfect "trampoline" and helped the boys expend their bottled up energy. They had a great time and it really did help to beat the Winter Blues. It will be something we pull out again - esp if we really get the freezing rain and snow the forcast is predicting in the near future.
BAXTER KIDDO THANXGIVING TRADITION
I know that Thanksgiving was awhile ago but things have been so busy I havent had a chance to blog our picts. Our family has found that we have a special tweak on the "thanksgiving pie" thing. Making pies has always been a thing that has not thrilled me - I love to eat pie - but I dont love to make them. I also found that my kiddos wouldnt eat them if I did go to the trouble of making them. We always used the leftover pie crust to make cookies. One year we just decided to make cookies and use the fillings for dip vs making the whole pies - hence our own tradition was started.
The kids all really look forward to making cookies together - it is the one time of year where everyone gets to help with a big cooking project. The girls and I made the mousse fillings and then all the kids took turns making the cookies.
Ky esp liked to have his turn, and just like with the muffins, he wanted to do everything himself. He did pretty good with the pastry cutter and Kaeli was on stand-by to help as needed.
Kaeli esp likes working with cookie and bread dough - she loves getting her hands messy and rolling it out. She had a bit of trouble with the pie crust - it is different from bread dough in consistency - and she actually got on the step stool and used everything she had to get it rolled out - and then enlisted my help. She gave it a good go and built some more muscles :)
When it was time to cut out the cookies of course Ky went right for the CARS cutter - it amazes me how many different kinds of cars he likes - doesnt matter what shape or size, if it is a car, that is good enough for him.
I love this pict of Kaeli and Ky - this "helping hands" pict really shows what this tradition represents to our family - sharing, laughing, loving, helping, & creating something that everyone enjoys - the process and the product are full of fun memories.
The kids all really look forward to making cookies together - it is the one time of year where everyone gets to help with a big cooking project. The girls and I made the mousse fillings and then all the kids took turns making the cookies.
Ky esp liked to have his turn, and just like with the muffins, he wanted to do everything himself. He did pretty good with the pastry cutter and Kaeli was on stand-by to help as needed.
Kaeli esp likes working with cookie and bread dough - she loves getting her hands messy and rolling it out. She had a bit of trouble with the pie crust - it is different from bread dough in consistency - and she actually got on the step stool and used everything she had to get it rolled out - and then enlisted my help. She gave it a good go and built some more muscles :)
When it was time to cut out the cookies of course Ky went right for the CARS cutter - it amazes me how many different kinds of cars he likes - doesnt matter what shape or size, if it is a car, that is good enough for him.
I love this pict of Kaeli and Ky - this "helping hands" pict really shows what this tradition represents to our family - sharing, laughing, loving, helping, & creating something that everyone enjoys - the process and the product are full of fun memories.
Here is Caiden cutting out more cookies. We have several sets of cookie cutters that were my grandmothers - the old metal kind - and the kids had a great time choosing different cutters for the dough.
Ceana & Kaeli liked playing with the handprint cookie cutter. Kaeli had tried to take off the right fingers so the hand would be signing "I love you" - the girls laughed as they tried to get it figured out - I think there ended up being serveral hands that were missing all the fingers by the time they went into the oven
Colton was a big helper with the butter and sprinkles. He liked using the pastry brush and shaking the cin-sug on the cookies. I love this pict esp because it shows Colton having fun, but also because I happened to also get Kaeli's "love note" in the background - notice the writing in the flour. I had walked away from the kitchen and she was doodling and left that for me - she is all love and hugs lately - and I love it - I hope it will always be that way with all the kids.
We also worked on Thanksgiving crafts. The big girls helped the little boys, but also had fun creating their own Handprint turkeys. I think we still didnt get Kels and Ky's finished but it is fun to have their cute little handprints in paper - they will be fun to add to the hope chest.
Ceana & Kaeli liked playing with the handprint cookie cutter. Kaeli had tried to take off the right fingers so the hand would be signing "I love you" - the girls laughed as they tried to get it figured out - I think there ended up being serveral hands that were missing all the fingers by the time they went into the oven
Colton was a big helper with the butter and sprinkles. He liked using the pastry brush and shaking the cin-sug on the cookies. I love this pict esp because it shows Colton having fun, but also because I happened to also get Kaeli's "love note" in the background - notice the writing in the flour. I had walked away from the kitchen and she was doodling and left that for me - she is all love and hugs lately - and I love it - I hope it will always be that way with all the kids.
We also worked on Thanksgiving crafts. The big girls helped the little boys, but also had fun creating their own Handprint turkeys. I think we still didnt get Kels and Ky's finished but it is fun to have their cute little handprints in paper - they will be fun to add to the hope chest.
PHOTOGRAPHY FRUSTRATIONS
FYI - this is a personal entry to just voice concerns and stresses - feel free to skip or read at your own discretion...
It is about 445AM - I have been awake since about 1AM. The time that I was asleep I was actively working on photography - it seems my brain cant relax lately.
I was so excited to get to do another family shoot this last weekend. We were blessed with very cold, but very beautiful weather. The mid-day lighting was very challenging but I was thrilled to get home and discover I was able to capture some pretty great shots. The 3 families I got to work with were really a lot of fun and allowed me to get to know them lots better than I already did.
My challenge has come in the processing of my picts.
I have been shooting in JPG format - but have been encouraged this last week to start trying to shoot in RAW and giving myself better ability to control the outcome of my photos.
The only thing is I am in no way, shape or form a "techy" - and trying to wade through manuals, tutorials, and gobbedly-gook instructions is making my brain explode, the tears flow and the chocolate being consumed "en masse"
In the meantime I have 2 sets of photos waiting to be processed and no clue how to do it. Plus the pressure of knowing I have clients waiting on these picts.
Preston is being an angel and putting up with all my emotional exposions by taking on the tech side of things - which makes me feel even worse that he is spending time doing my job instead of focusing on things he has to get done (work, military, church stuff ) before he goes out of town again. I feel completely overwhelmed and incompetent, and because I am, that he is always having to make up for all of my weaknesses and taking his own valuable time to fix or do all the things I fail at.
I recently talked with a gal in the other ward who is "pro" - and really have been feeling more discouraged and torn about myself and my photography since that time. She is a "high end $" photographer and very competitive with the other pro studio in town. I am not doing photography for the $ or to be competitive, but I feel I am more than just "a mom with a camera", as she put things. I know her opinion, or anyone else's, shouldnt matter - but with me still learning and trying to teach myself everything - others' suggestions and critiques and experience do matter.
I feel very strongly that I have a gift and talent that I can share - without having $ become the main focus - I know that we cant afford pro photos (part of the reason I am learning to do all this myself - we saved a ton this year by me taking photos for our own family) - I cant see myself charging an arm and a leg for families I know are in the same situation that we are, but who love to have picts done of their families and kiddos.
I know that this gift and talent is just that - a gift - that for whatever reason, was given to me to share - I want to learn more, develop this gift, help others, find the joy in being able to truly "see" the world around me, to get outside my comfort zone and get out there and meet new people. I love that every time I get behind the camera that I find a freedom and a creativity that flows through me and allows me the chance to grow and "see" - and not be afraid. I have ALWAYS been shy and afraid - have never been one of those "meet and greet" personalities. This is allowing me a chance to change that.
Battle #1 (besides still struggling with conquering correct lighting) is that I second guess myself at every shoot. I get so nervous I dont eat before a shoot and I shake and worry every minute that even though I am doing my very best - I am not going to be able to capture enough or have my work be good enough to give to others, that I will have wasted their time.
Battle #2 is the vast complexity of the photo enhancement programs. I am trying to read, trying to understand, trying to figure things out - but i just become more frustrated - esp knowing that I have taken some great picts that might need some tweaking here and there and I cant get it figured out. Esp knowing that I have clients waiting for picts.
Battle #3 is the whole business end of things. I advertise that I am friendly, efficient and professional. I try very hard to be all of those things and yet the $ always seems to get in the way. I still am trying to figure out what the best plan should be. Every shoot I have done has been completely different - large group, small, corporate, senior, how much time at a shoot, how much time at home doing tweaks, etc. Every shoot has brought new info to my attention that I havent even thought of and dont know how to compensate for.
I know that my time is valuable, and I would love to earn enough to expand my equipment and maybe be able to contribute to our family income. I also know that I cannot bring myself to charge horrendous amounts of $ - a gift is something to be shared, not charge admission for.
It is so hard to know what to do.
Battle #4 - I have been encouraged to join a professional photographers association and to attend an upcoming 4 day seminar. I have been told it is an amazing chance to learn about photography from others in every level of photography, workshops, practice, etc. The catch is that it would be almost $500 to be able to go.
Preston seems more than willing to do that - but I know we have cut back on everything extra to make ends meet and make sure all of household and family NEEDS are filled. To me, that much $ and me being away for 4 days seems selfish and frivilous - knowing that this is more in the lines of a hobby and that I am never intending to become a "cut-throat" photographer like others I have seen as they have come through the ranks. I dont know that my goals are to ever become so professional that I dont remember where I started, why I am doing this, or remember to be thankful for the gift I have been given to share with others. Throwing that much $ out there when I dont know what my goals are, or knowing that if I do ever get that far I will prob stay "free lance" seems like a very unwise thing to do.
Battle #5 - I think that I have pretty much become a royal nuisance through this process. I have asked too many questions, bugged too many people too many times. I am a very visual learner - I need to see and watch and ask. I have never been one to read and retain - esp when it comes to complicated tech stuff. In needing the visual side, I have cut myself off from that option because I am such a bother and have been too incompetent. I cant even get others to answer my emails or calls. In trying to teach myself and trying to learn from others I have ruined that chance.
This art has 2 sides - creativity and tech - and business, if it gets that far.
I think I am doing great on the creativity side - it has opened up a whole new world for me to see things that others dont, to appreciate and wonder at all of the creations and people around us.
I am doing horribly with the tech side - hampering my opportunity and ability to share with others the things that I see and feel through this art.
Without knowing every in and out of my camera, without being able to tweak or fix picts, because of my meager abilities, I cant create or capture the things my eyes see or that my heart feels, or create prints that I can share with someone else.
The joy is lessened or lost waiting and worrying about others' opinions (and then still not letting myself believe them even if they like the picts) or because $ has to be part of the business side.
I think that in the last few months that I have learned alot. I have experienced personal growth in lots of areas. I also sometimes feel like I should never share my photography with others ever again. I also know that if I dont share it, the gift is lost, esp when I hear from others that I have somehow been an ispiration to them. It is lost if I dont share it with my own children in creating a family journal and their scrapbook pages that they love so much.
I know there is more that I need to write - but for now cant find the right words. Maybe in daylight hours I will be able to write more. For now I will keep trying, I will keep trudging through the hard stuff, I will keep trying to not be a pain in the "you know where" to all of you who keep putting up with me. I will write and post more soon.
It is about 445AM - I have been awake since about 1AM. The time that I was asleep I was actively working on photography - it seems my brain cant relax lately.
I was so excited to get to do another family shoot this last weekend. We were blessed with very cold, but very beautiful weather. The mid-day lighting was very challenging but I was thrilled to get home and discover I was able to capture some pretty great shots. The 3 families I got to work with were really a lot of fun and allowed me to get to know them lots better than I already did.
My challenge has come in the processing of my picts.
I have been shooting in JPG format - but have been encouraged this last week to start trying to shoot in RAW and giving myself better ability to control the outcome of my photos.
The only thing is I am in no way, shape or form a "techy" - and trying to wade through manuals, tutorials, and gobbedly-gook instructions is making my brain explode, the tears flow and the chocolate being consumed "en masse"
In the meantime I have 2 sets of photos waiting to be processed and no clue how to do it. Plus the pressure of knowing I have clients waiting on these picts.
Preston is being an angel and putting up with all my emotional exposions by taking on the tech side of things - which makes me feel even worse that he is spending time doing my job instead of focusing on things he has to get done (work, military, church stuff ) before he goes out of town again. I feel completely overwhelmed and incompetent, and because I am, that he is always having to make up for all of my weaknesses and taking his own valuable time to fix or do all the things I fail at.
I recently talked with a gal in the other ward who is "pro" - and really have been feeling more discouraged and torn about myself and my photography since that time. She is a "high end $" photographer and very competitive with the other pro studio in town. I am not doing photography for the $ or to be competitive, but I feel I am more than just "a mom with a camera", as she put things. I know her opinion, or anyone else's, shouldnt matter - but with me still learning and trying to teach myself everything - others' suggestions and critiques and experience do matter.
I feel very strongly that I have a gift and talent that I can share - without having $ become the main focus - I know that we cant afford pro photos (part of the reason I am learning to do all this myself - we saved a ton this year by me taking photos for our own family) - I cant see myself charging an arm and a leg for families I know are in the same situation that we are, but who love to have picts done of their families and kiddos.
I know that this gift and talent is just that - a gift - that for whatever reason, was given to me to share - I want to learn more, develop this gift, help others, find the joy in being able to truly "see" the world around me, to get outside my comfort zone and get out there and meet new people. I love that every time I get behind the camera that I find a freedom and a creativity that flows through me and allows me the chance to grow and "see" - and not be afraid. I have ALWAYS been shy and afraid - have never been one of those "meet and greet" personalities. This is allowing me a chance to change that.
Battle #1 (besides still struggling with conquering correct lighting) is that I second guess myself at every shoot. I get so nervous I dont eat before a shoot and I shake and worry every minute that even though I am doing my very best - I am not going to be able to capture enough or have my work be good enough to give to others, that I will have wasted their time.
Battle #2 is the vast complexity of the photo enhancement programs. I am trying to read, trying to understand, trying to figure things out - but i just become more frustrated - esp knowing that I have taken some great picts that might need some tweaking here and there and I cant get it figured out. Esp knowing that I have clients waiting for picts.
Battle #3 is the whole business end of things. I advertise that I am friendly, efficient and professional. I try very hard to be all of those things and yet the $ always seems to get in the way. I still am trying to figure out what the best plan should be. Every shoot I have done has been completely different - large group, small, corporate, senior, how much time at a shoot, how much time at home doing tweaks, etc. Every shoot has brought new info to my attention that I havent even thought of and dont know how to compensate for.
I know that my time is valuable, and I would love to earn enough to expand my equipment and maybe be able to contribute to our family income. I also know that I cannot bring myself to charge horrendous amounts of $ - a gift is something to be shared, not charge admission for.
It is so hard to know what to do.
Battle #4 - I have been encouraged to join a professional photographers association and to attend an upcoming 4 day seminar. I have been told it is an amazing chance to learn about photography from others in every level of photography, workshops, practice, etc. The catch is that it would be almost $500 to be able to go.
Preston seems more than willing to do that - but I know we have cut back on everything extra to make ends meet and make sure all of household and family NEEDS are filled. To me, that much $ and me being away for 4 days seems selfish and frivilous - knowing that this is more in the lines of a hobby and that I am never intending to become a "cut-throat" photographer like others I have seen as they have come through the ranks. I dont know that my goals are to ever become so professional that I dont remember where I started, why I am doing this, or remember to be thankful for the gift I have been given to share with others. Throwing that much $ out there when I dont know what my goals are, or knowing that if I do ever get that far I will prob stay "free lance" seems like a very unwise thing to do.
Battle #5 - I think that I have pretty much become a royal nuisance through this process. I have asked too many questions, bugged too many people too many times. I am a very visual learner - I need to see and watch and ask. I have never been one to read and retain - esp when it comes to complicated tech stuff. In needing the visual side, I have cut myself off from that option because I am such a bother and have been too incompetent. I cant even get others to answer my emails or calls. In trying to teach myself and trying to learn from others I have ruined that chance.
This art has 2 sides - creativity and tech - and business, if it gets that far.
I think I am doing great on the creativity side - it has opened up a whole new world for me to see things that others dont, to appreciate and wonder at all of the creations and people around us.
I am doing horribly with the tech side - hampering my opportunity and ability to share with others the things that I see and feel through this art.
Without knowing every in and out of my camera, without being able to tweak or fix picts, because of my meager abilities, I cant create or capture the things my eyes see or that my heart feels, or create prints that I can share with someone else.
The joy is lessened or lost waiting and worrying about others' opinions (and then still not letting myself believe them even if they like the picts) or because $ has to be part of the business side.
I think that in the last few months that I have learned alot. I have experienced personal growth in lots of areas. I also sometimes feel like I should never share my photography with others ever again. I also know that if I dont share it, the gift is lost, esp when I hear from others that I have somehow been an ispiration to them. It is lost if I dont share it with my own children in creating a family journal and their scrapbook pages that they love so much.
I know there is more that I need to write - but for now cant find the right words. Maybe in daylight hours I will be able to write more. For now I will keep trying, I will keep trudging through the hard stuff, I will keep trying to not be a pain in the "you know where" to all of you who keep putting up with me. I will write and post more soon.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
RUNNING CRAZY
I know I havent had the chance to blog very much this last week. I have had 4 photo shoots in the last week as well as having extra stuff for preston and the kids going on. I am hoping to get some new stuff up soon - I have tons to share -
In the meantime if you havent looked at my 1st Santa Shoot on my photo blog, go take a look - photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com (or click the link at the top of gadget bar to the right) I had a blast with the kids and the picts turned out really great.
I know with Preston going out of town next week that I will prob be blogging and catching up on everything (esp since I prob wont be sleeping all that much with him gone).
There will be more to come soon!
In the meantime if you havent looked at my 1st Santa Shoot on my photo blog, go take a look - photomomentsbyrory.blogspot.com (or click the link at the top of gadget bar to the right) I had a blast with the kids and the picts turned out really great.
I know with Preston going out of town next week that I will prob be blogging and catching up on everything (esp since I prob wont be sleeping all that much with him gone).
There will be more to come soon!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
BLUEBERRY MUFFIN BOY
I had gotten a good night's sleep - which hasnt happened for so long - and after I got Kels down for her nap I was feeling extra energetic and thought a fun project for Ky would be fun. One of his favorite foods is muffins - of any kind - so that is what we decided to make. I really surprised myself at being so relaxed and let Ky do as much as he wanted - which was everything! It was fun to let him because it let me get some super great picts of our fun morning together.
Can you tell that Ky doesnt like muffins at all? I love that tongue - he couldnt wait to get started when I told him we were going to make them.
He did a really great job with all the different steps. It was good practice for me to be patient and it was good practice for him to follow directions and do things by himself. Notice the CARS Filmore in his hand - I think he held onto that thing almost the whole time we were baking. I think he finally put it down when he decided having a muffin in each hand was better - pretty funny kiddo.
He liked watching the mixer - kids are fascinated by the most simple things - things we adults really take for granted every day - he liked watching me put it on the different speeds, he thought it was funny watching the batter fly around the bowl.
Can you tell that Ky doesnt like muffins at all? I love that tongue - he couldnt wait to get started when I told him we were going to make them.
He did a really great job with all the different steps. It was good practice for me to be patient and it was good practice for him to follow directions and do things by himself. Notice the CARS Filmore in his hand - I think he held onto that thing almost the whole time we were baking. I think he finally put it down when he decided having a muffin in each hand was better - pretty funny kiddo.
He liked watching the mixer - kids are fascinated by the most simple things - things we adults really take for granted every day - he liked watching me put it on the different speeds, he thought it was funny watching the batter fly around the bowl.
Part of our family rules about cooking is that cleaning up is just as important as the cooking. Ky did a great job cleaning up all the spills all along the way.
Ky had fun putting all the papers in the cupcake pan.
I was a bit hesitant to let Ky put the batter in the pan, it has been awhile since he has done any cooking with me. He is in that 2yr old stage "I want to do it myself!" - so I let him. Actually I was very impressed, he did a great job and didnt really make much mess at all - and it let me take lots of fun picts.
As you can see by the look on his face - he was VERY proud of himself that he made the muffins all by himself. He couldnt wait to eat them - I had to remind him they had to go in the oven first and get "cooked". He had a hard time letting me put them in the oven.
Ky had fun putting all the papers in the cupcake pan.
I was a bit hesitant to let Ky put the batter in the pan, it has been awhile since he has done any cooking with me. He is in that 2yr old stage "I want to do it myself!" - so I let him. Actually I was very impressed, he did a great job and didnt really make much mess at all - and it let me take lots of fun picts.
As you can see by the look on his face - he was VERY proud of himself that he made the muffins all by himself. He couldnt wait to eat them - I had to remind him they had to go in the oven first and get "cooked". He had a hard time letting me put them in the oven.
Ky was so excited about his muffins that he had to keep an eye on them every second. It was pretty funny watching him watching his muffins.
Ky was so proud and very ready to eat!
This is classic for Ky - the more he can get in at once the better. It is a "boy gene" thing in our family - I have to constantly work on with all the boys to remind them about small bites.
One muffin wasnt enough for Ky - you can see the two-handed thing still going on - he finished THREE muffins and expected me to let him eat the whole batch! He was pretty put out when I asked for him to share too - it was pretty funny - he finally let me have ONE. I really had to talk him into putting the rest away for later. Our family loves muffins - so you can guess these didnt last very long once the other kids discovered them too.
Ky was so proud and very ready to eat!
This is classic for Ky - the more he can get in at once the better. It is a "boy gene" thing in our family - I have to constantly work on with all the boys to remind them about small bites.
One muffin wasnt enough for Ky - you can see the two-handed thing still going on - he finished THREE muffins and expected me to let him eat the whole batch! He was pretty put out when I asked for him to share too - it was pretty funny - he finally let me have ONE. I really had to talk him into putting the rest away for later. Our family loves muffins - so you can guess these didnt last very long once the other kids discovered them too.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
Today we got some very bad news and we also got some very good news.
Our bad news is that we have lost a dear aunt on Preston's side of the family. The girls and I have taken this esp hard as we were close to her and have had a special bond with this sweet aunt since she joined the Bentley/Baxter family.
Our good news is that we have gained a new family member in the birth of my new neice! Since my brother & his family live far away we are anxiously waiting to see picts of her (which I will be sure to post as soon as we get them) and we are even more looking forward to knowing they will be coming to spend lots of time with us next month.
On this special Thanksgiving Eve the girls and I thought that blogging our thoughts and feelings would help the girls through their grieving process and help us remember all the wonderful things we loved about Aunt Serena. It would also help us to share all the things we are thankful for in knowing this wonderful woman as well as all the things we look forward to in knowing our new neice/cousin.
Here is our list:
1) We are thankful for our knowledge of the gospel and the ressurection and that we know that we will be able to see and be with Aunt Serena again (Kaeli)
2) I am thankful for all of the fun things I had in common with Aunt Serena. We liked alot of the same things (school, horses, favorite foods) and always enjoyed talking and sharing about all the things we both enjoyed. I esp enjoyed all the time we would spend together talking and laughing at all the Bentley family reunions. (ceana)
3) We are thankful to have a new cousin to share things with and do things for. It will be fun to watch her grow and help her learn lots of new things. It will be fun to watch as she grows and develops her own gifts and talents ( our other neice is already a wiz in many areas - which is amazing since she is only FOUR!) (kaeli)
4) We are thankful that Uncle Sean, Aunt Rayna & the girls will be able to come and stay a long time with us (anything longer than overnight is a long time). We are excited to see our new cousin and hopefully we will get the chance to have Rani get to stay extra long with us while Uncle Sean & Aunt Rayna have some special time with just them and the baby. (ceana)
5) I didnt know Aunt Serena very well. I was younger and didnt understand when everyone was sad when we lost our great-grandparents this same time of year. I am now old enough to understand loss and feel grief over the loss of a family member as well as sadness and empathy for other family members who are also grieving who did know Aunt Serena better than I did. (kaeli)
6) I am thankful for the plan of salvation. I am thankful for the knowledge that Heavenly Father has a plan for everything and everyone. That there is a reason for Aunt Serena to go home to Him now. Even though I am sad I can find happiness in this knowledge. (ceana)
7) I am thankful that Aunt Serena chose to come to this Earth. I am thankful that she was part of our family. (Kaeli)
8) I am thankful that I have been able to keep in touch with Aunt Serena through email. One of my favorite things about emailing with her was that we would send "I love you's" back and forth to each other just because. (ceana)
9) I wish that we didnt live so far away and that the funeral wasnt so soon. I would really like to be able to be there to be with the family and to tell Uncle Dick how sorry I am that Aunt Serena is not here anymore and to tell him how much I loved her and how much I am going to miss her. (ceana)
10) I loved that Aunt Serena "adopted" me and she and Uncle Dick were my other set of grandparents. They always greeted me with hugs and smiles and that was always very special to me and it will always be a special memory of the way Aunt Serena always was - full of sunshine, smiles and hugs (ceana/rory)
I think this has been a very helpful thing for the girls. At the end of our list I find the girls smiling and laughing about the good thoughts and memories. I am sure there will be more tears in the coming days, but it is nice to know that this has been helpful to them (and to me) as they have processed both the happy and the sad news they have received today.
What a wonderful blessing blogging has become to our family - it has given us the gift and ability to pour out our hearts, thoughts, and feelings and to be able to record those things for ourselves and to share with others. Our journaling has been more productive and enjoyable than ever before in our lives. Technology is a true gift to be thankful for.
Our bad news is that we have lost a dear aunt on Preston's side of the family. The girls and I have taken this esp hard as we were close to her and have had a special bond with this sweet aunt since she joined the Bentley/Baxter family.
Our good news is that we have gained a new family member in the birth of my new neice! Since my brother & his family live far away we are anxiously waiting to see picts of her (which I will be sure to post as soon as we get them) and we are even more looking forward to knowing they will be coming to spend lots of time with us next month.
On this special Thanksgiving Eve the girls and I thought that blogging our thoughts and feelings would help the girls through their grieving process and help us remember all the wonderful things we loved about Aunt Serena. It would also help us to share all the things we are thankful for in knowing this wonderful woman as well as all the things we look forward to in knowing our new neice/cousin.
Here is our list:
1) We are thankful for our knowledge of the gospel and the ressurection and that we know that we will be able to see and be with Aunt Serena again (Kaeli)
2) I am thankful for all of the fun things I had in common with Aunt Serena. We liked alot of the same things (school, horses, favorite foods) and always enjoyed talking and sharing about all the things we both enjoyed. I esp enjoyed all the time we would spend together talking and laughing at all the Bentley family reunions. (ceana)
3) We are thankful to have a new cousin to share things with and do things for. It will be fun to watch her grow and help her learn lots of new things. It will be fun to watch as she grows and develops her own gifts and talents ( our other neice is already a wiz in many areas - which is amazing since she is only FOUR!) (kaeli)
4) We are thankful that Uncle Sean, Aunt Rayna & the girls will be able to come and stay a long time with us (anything longer than overnight is a long time). We are excited to see our new cousin and hopefully we will get the chance to have Rani get to stay extra long with us while Uncle Sean & Aunt Rayna have some special time with just them and the baby. (ceana)
5) I didnt know Aunt Serena very well. I was younger and didnt understand when everyone was sad when we lost our great-grandparents this same time of year. I am now old enough to understand loss and feel grief over the loss of a family member as well as sadness and empathy for other family members who are also grieving who did know Aunt Serena better than I did. (kaeli)
6) I am thankful for the plan of salvation. I am thankful for the knowledge that Heavenly Father has a plan for everything and everyone. That there is a reason for Aunt Serena to go home to Him now. Even though I am sad I can find happiness in this knowledge. (ceana)
7) I am thankful that Aunt Serena chose to come to this Earth. I am thankful that she was part of our family. (Kaeli)
8) I am thankful that I have been able to keep in touch with Aunt Serena through email. One of my favorite things about emailing with her was that we would send "I love you's" back and forth to each other just because. (ceana)
9) I wish that we didnt live so far away and that the funeral wasnt so soon. I would really like to be able to be there to be with the family and to tell Uncle Dick how sorry I am that Aunt Serena is not here anymore and to tell him how much I loved her and how much I am going to miss her. (ceana)
10) I loved that Aunt Serena "adopted" me and she and Uncle Dick were my other set of grandparents. They always greeted me with hugs and smiles and that was always very special to me and it will always be a special memory of the way Aunt Serena always was - full of sunshine, smiles and hugs (ceana/rory)
I think this has been a very helpful thing for the girls. At the end of our list I find the girls smiling and laughing about the good thoughts and memories. I am sure there will be more tears in the coming days, but it is nice to know that this has been helpful to them (and to me) as they have processed both the happy and the sad news they have received today.
What a wonderful blessing blogging has become to our family - it has given us the gift and ability to pour out our hearts, thoughts, and feelings and to be able to record those things for ourselves and to share with others. Our journaling has been more productive and enjoyable than ever before in our lives. Technology is a true gift to be thankful for.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
PHOTOGRAPHY LESSONS
OK, here is another one pretty much just for me - feel free to peruse or skip
I did a family shoot yesterday that I am not feeling so hot about - mostly because of all the major mistakes I made. These are things that I have learned and if I get the opportunity to do another photo session I will hopefully be able to apply.
1) Stand up for myself, my time & work and ask for my fee BEFORE I do a shoot. I will not release the pict CD until my fee is paid
2) Make sure the location area is free of vehicles, photo equipment, etc.
3) Spend time on tweaks before they are ordered only if I LOVE them and would post them or add them to my portfolio
4) Be sure to let clients know BEFORE a shoot that my intent is to post a "sneak peek" on my photo blog
5) Be willing to listen to ideas, suggestions and critiques without folding in on myself and giving up or making myself feel like a complete failure
6) Be willing to show gratitude in accepting & applying these ideas and critiques before I end up hurting others that are trying their best to help - esp when it is my sweetheart who has given up all his work time to help me so I dont explode from being overwhelmed.
7) Be very clear about what the client is expecting or wanting. Be sure to ask before a shoot and just before starting picts to be sure to capture what the client wants as well as leaving time for creative shots and pict angles
8) Create some kind of client package that will include a feedback sheet, order form, business card, receipt, and pict CD.
9) Make sure and give myself sufficient time to process and get picts to a client. A week at most, and shorter time only at special request. Do not allow myself to be pressured by a client - my time is as valuable and important as theirs - this is a side adventure, my family is my life.
10) Dont attempt to play with new software, technology, etc without sufficient time to learn about it before offering it to a client or applying it to business end of things.
I am sure there will be more things I think of to add to this list. It seems the more I learn about photography the more I learn I DONT know. The way I feel at the moment I dont ever want to pick up my camera again - and yet I know I will - I have to - I already have shoots scheduled for Saturday.
At this point I am going to pretty much assume this session has been a scratch and a hard bunch of lessons to learn. I have learned a lot, even if it is all the things NOT to do next time. If there is a next time. My main goal with photography is to still share this gift to bring happiness to others, but it will be nice if that gift will someday be returned in allowing me to somehow contribute something positive to our household and family. Only time will tell.
I did a family shoot yesterday that I am not feeling so hot about - mostly because of all the major mistakes I made. These are things that I have learned and if I get the opportunity to do another photo session I will hopefully be able to apply.
1) Stand up for myself, my time & work and ask for my fee BEFORE I do a shoot. I will not release the pict CD until my fee is paid
2) Make sure the location area is free of vehicles, photo equipment, etc.
3) Spend time on tweaks before they are ordered only if I LOVE them and would post them or add them to my portfolio
4) Be sure to let clients know BEFORE a shoot that my intent is to post a "sneak peek" on my photo blog
5) Be willing to listen to ideas, suggestions and critiques without folding in on myself and giving up or making myself feel like a complete failure
6) Be willing to show gratitude in accepting & applying these ideas and critiques before I end up hurting others that are trying their best to help - esp when it is my sweetheart who has given up all his work time to help me so I dont explode from being overwhelmed.
7) Be very clear about what the client is expecting or wanting. Be sure to ask before a shoot and just before starting picts to be sure to capture what the client wants as well as leaving time for creative shots and pict angles
8) Create some kind of client package that will include a feedback sheet, order form, business card, receipt, and pict CD.
9) Make sure and give myself sufficient time to process and get picts to a client. A week at most, and shorter time only at special request. Do not allow myself to be pressured by a client - my time is as valuable and important as theirs - this is a side adventure, my family is my life.
10) Dont attempt to play with new software, technology, etc without sufficient time to learn about it before offering it to a client or applying it to business end of things.
I am sure there will be more things I think of to add to this list. It seems the more I learn about photography the more I learn I DONT know. The way I feel at the moment I dont ever want to pick up my camera again - and yet I know I will - I have to - I already have shoots scheduled for Saturday.
At this point I am going to pretty much assume this session has been a scratch and a hard bunch of lessons to learn. I have learned a lot, even if it is all the things NOT to do next time. If there is a next time. My main goal with photography is to still share this gift to bring happiness to others, but it will be nice if that gift will someday be returned in allowing me to somehow contribute something positive to our household and family. Only time will tell.
Monday, November 24, 2008
SEEING DOUBLE
Ke has discovered a "friend" in the mirror. It was so funny to watch her play and laugh at herself. It was fun to capture her play as I caught to of her personality traits that usually only we get to see at home -
1) "petting" things - she will take her hand and stroke up and down on just about anything - I think she is going to be our texture girl. She was doing this to the mirror too - in the pict it looks like she is giving herself a "high 5"
2) forehead "loves" - she will just lean herr forehead against ours, nose-to-nose, and either look into our eyes or close her eyes. She does this to everyone in our family, kind of like it is her special way to say "love you". It was fun to watch her do it to herself in the mirror.
It is so fun to watch her as she changes and grows every day. She is sitting up really solid by herself now and only seems to fall over if she is really tired. She loves playing with her toys - esp ones that are noisy. She has a darling little squeaky giggle (if I can get her to do it for the camera I will post it soon) and Colton has figured out how to play "peek a boo" with her and get her to laugh (except when I get the camera out to record it). All of the kids are really starting to enjoy her more since she is really able to interact more with them. She can be so funny and get the kids laughing pretty hard.
She is not nearly as puky as she used to be but with 6 teeth coming in she is VERY slobbery. She is still not really very interested in eating "real" food but we keep trying. Thanksgiving should be a good time to try lots of new things since there are always lots of soft foods.
She is our little cutie and she is so fun. Dont know what we would ever do without her!
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1) "petting" things - she will take her hand and stroke up and down on just about anything - I think she is going to be our texture girl. She was doing this to the mirror too - in the pict it looks like she is giving herself a "high 5"
2) forehead "loves" - she will just lean herr forehead against ours, nose-to-nose, and either look into our eyes or close her eyes. She does this to everyone in our family, kind of like it is her special way to say "love you". It was fun to watch her do it to herself in the mirror.
It is so fun to watch her as she changes and grows every day. She is sitting up really solid by herself now and only seems to fall over if she is really tired. She loves playing with her toys - esp ones that are noisy. She has a darling little squeaky giggle (if I can get her to do it for the camera I will post it soon) and Colton has figured out how to play "peek a boo" with her and get her to laugh (except when I get the camera out to record it). All of the kids are really starting to enjoy her more since she is really able to interact more with them. She can be so funny and get the kids laughing pretty hard.
She is not nearly as puky as she used to be but with 6 teeth coming in she is VERY slobbery. She is still not really very interested in eating "real" food but we keep trying. Thanksgiving should be a good time to try lots of new things since there are always lots of soft foods.
She is our little cutie and she is so fun. Dont know what we would ever do without her!
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Friday, November 21, 2008
FEELING HELPLESS UPDATE
I have had many sweet comments made after my last post. I thought I would at least send an update on some stuff.
1) The young woman who was missing has returned home on her own. There is a lot in front of her and her family, but for now she is home, and that will allow for help and healing for all of them
2) The two boys were recovered from the river. Lots of blessings fell into place to allow specialized divers to be able to find them. Though they are gone, and things are going to be very hard, there will be closure for their family and friends and the community
3) My friend contacted me and was able to share with me some of her challenges. She is such a sweetheart and I am so glad that she is my friend. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with her.
4) The weather is still as icky as ever - we have even added heavy clouds and rain recently. The gray sky is a constant challenge and I have to fight every minute to not just go straight to bed and stay there. Having my girls home with me for 10 days though will be a big help - we have projects planned to work on more Christmas stuff. Plus it will be nice to have them here to just give some extra help which might allow me to catch up on some much needed sleep.
5) Weight stuff is still a struggle. Other family members will be thrilled to know that I have gained back 2/3 of the miniscule amount that I have been able to lose in the last 3 weeks....giving in to emotional eating was most of that. I am really struggling with finding the desire to continue when progress is so small or non-existent. Eating in general has become a very difficult thing at our house - kiddos are protesting the changes in big ways or refusing to eat all together. We didnt have extra bad habits before - but trying to make changes has been harder for all of us than expected.
We are working hard on all those things to help us keep "holding on". The girls have done esp well with their scriptures this week - our family contest seems to be making good progress. We are still working with the little boys but they are doing well for the most part to participate in family prayer and scripture study. We will just keep doing our best and hopefully, for now, it is enough.
1) The young woman who was missing has returned home on her own. There is a lot in front of her and her family, but for now she is home, and that will allow for help and healing for all of them
2) The two boys were recovered from the river. Lots of blessings fell into place to allow specialized divers to be able to find them. Though they are gone, and things are going to be very hard, there will be closure for their family and friends and the community
3) My friend contacted me and was able to share with me some of her challenges. She is such a sweetheart and I am so glad that she is my friend. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with her.
4) The weather is still as icky as ever - we have even added heavy clouds and rain recently. The gray sky is a constant challenge and I have to fight every minute to not just go straight to bed and stay there. Having my girls home with me for 10 days though will be a big help - we have projects planned to work on more Christmas stuff. Plus it will be nice to have them here to just give some extra help which might allow me to catch up on some much needed sleep.
5) Weight stuff is still a struggle. Other family members will be thrilled to know that I have gained back 2/3 of the miniscule amount that I have been able to lose in the last 3 weeks....giving in to emotional eating was most of that. I am really struggling with finding the desire to continue when progress is so small or non-existent. Eating in general has become a very difficult thing at our house - kiddos are protesting the changes in big ways or refusing to eat all together. We didnt have extra bad habits before - but trying to make changes has been harder for all of us than expected.
We are working hard on all those things to help us keep "holding on". The girls have done esp well with their scriptures this week - our family contest seems to be making good progress. We are still working with the little boys but they are doing well for the most part to participate in family prayer and scripture study. We will just keep doing our best and hopefully, for now, it is enough.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
FEELING HELPLESS
OK, this is prob just a "vent " blog for myself. Feel free to come along or not. Be forewarned...:)
Do you ever have those days that you feel so helpless against the ills of the world that you arent sure what to do or if what you do even matters.
This last week/weekend has really whammied my life with the ills and hurt the world has to throw at us.
In just the last 48 hours I have found out about a young woman who is missing from her family and is most likely in a very dangerous situation. What hurts my heart the most for her family is knowing she left of her own will and choice. I also found out about 2 brothers who have gone missing and may be lost to our local river. I have talked with a man on our CERT team who lost his sweet wife over the weekend. I have talked with another woman on our CERT team who is losing her husband to divorce.
I have a dear, sweet friend who I think is very sick but cant tell anyone yet what is happening. She is trying her best, with the help of her darling children and amazing husband, to come to a point where she is able to accept this new and overwhelming challenge in her life before she is ready to let anyone else know what that challenge is.
I think about her, pray for her, worry about her, wish that I were closer to be able to help her with all the little things that become big things when life is challenging.
The gray weather, clouds, & heavy fog weigh heavily on me these days. Winter is here and I sometimes wish I could hybernate like animals do and go to bed and not come out until it is warm and sunny again. My mind, will and smallest desires dont want to comply with all that is before me every day to have to accomplish. On my extra bad days I dont ever make it out of my PJ's or into a shower - no matter where I need to be. More often than not I have been even dropping the boys off to school still not dressed in any way but the way I climbed out of bed.
I agreed to participate in a family contest for "biggest loser" in which I am gaining instead of losing. My one argument up front was that last time it took a YEAR to get baby weight off - and we only have a little over 3 months. I am trying to do everything I can and if there is any difference at all it is only in ounces. Losing the contest will be a big ouch to the bank acct as there is much at stake with all that each family member contributed to the "pot". It is discouraging to be trying so hard and seeing little or no progress.
My photography has taken off and become very overwhelming at the same time. I have had tons of people approach me for picts. I have done some amazing work through great blessings. Through the encouragement of others I have decided to charge for my work and offer special holiday picts in a portrait setting vs a 5 minute "mall" experience. In the process I think I have bungled more than not - trying to get flyers out in the wrong venue (church) - something I am trying to undo and promise to never do again. I have found the little that I do know about my camera and photography is nothing to the amount of things I DONT know about my camera and photography. So much that is is very overwhelming at times.
I got the amazing opportunity to possibly get my 1st corporate shoot only to have probably lost it before I ever got the chance because we are still working out the "kinks" in the business end of things. My holiday special photo offer so far has bombed completely and the only shoots I have scheduled are for a couple that I am going to do for free for friends and family who are going to let me play and practice some new ideas.
For all of this sadness, frustration and challenging circumstances I know I have much to be grateful for. Health, safety, preston's job, blessings that come with using a gift to serve others, a warm, safe home, the ability to keep working on gospel principles, having the ability to fill the physical needs of our family, the list can go on and on.
Maybe the answers to all of these challenges and hurt is in the thoughts that came to me as I was driving through the fog yesterday.
As I was driving Kels down to her dr appt the fog was very thick and dense. I could only see a car length in any direction. My thoughts strayed to Lehi's dream about the Tree of Life. The way to the tree was blocked by great mists of darkness. I felt engulfed in those mists yesterday - knowing that if I were to drive or walk in any direction into "wilderness" that I would be very lost and in very big trouble - just like what happened to those in Lehi's dream.
The only true path to the tree was by holding on to the iron rod. If people let go for any reason they were most likely lost from the true path to peace, safety and eternal blessings. I thought about that as I drove, not being able to see in front of me or around me much at all. The white line painted on the side of the road was all I had to keep me safe and going in the right direction to reach my desired destination. My faith and trust was in that line - knowing if I stayed on the road that I would make it to where I needed to be. It seems silly to think about faith in a painted line, or that the sun will rise every morning, or that the rain and cold will turn into a warm and sunny spring. These are things we just take for granted that will just happen. We never doubt for a moment that they wont happen.
In today's world with its ever growing ills and challenges and as we watch wicked men become more bold and gain more power our need to "hold to the rod" is even more important. More often than not this statement is changing - we are not asked to just hold on anymore - but we are admonished to hold on tightly with both hand and all our strength.
How do we continue to hold on? We continue to try hard every day to do those things we know are right and that will bless our families - read and study the scriptures, family & personal prayer, FHE, attending meetings and the temple if we are able, we continue to build our food storage and emergency supplies, we try to save $, even if it is a little bit, we keep working to get out of debt, we never fail in following the prophet and apostles, we strive to be worthy of the promptings of the spirit and make sure we heed his counsel and direction when it comes.
These are the small and simple things of the gospel. Sometimes they seem like they are so overwhelming that we will never get to them all. All we are asked to do is try our very best and the rest will fall into place. By doing our best every day - whether that is getting everything done, or one small thing done, we are moving forward. We are trying to strengthen our testimonies and teach our children what is most important. One small step forward is one step in the right direction - moving us towards eternal goals.
One small step forward will be what helps us get through these trying times and all that the world may try to throw at us. Faith that we will be blessed for our efforts, and be ever grateful for those blessings, will also help see us through. Having friends, family, children, & spouses to stand by us, and us to stand by them, will give all of us the strength to get through one more minute, or hour, or day. Knowing that we are never alone, even in our darkest hour, can bring even a small glimmer of light into our hearts and our lives that will help us to endure all that may be thrown at us.
It is amazing to me that these "epiphanies" can be set off by the smallest thing. Mine was set off by driving through the fog. The challenge for me is believing all the things that I have written down - trying to get my brain to ignore all the voices that still tell me that these things work for everyone else but me, trying to get beyond all the pain and darkness of my past to try and find some light for the present and future. There are moments when I know all of these things are impossible to achieve and then other smaller moments when I think things are starting to sink in. Even if my brain doesnt let me believe it for myself - it does believe it for my children - and as long as I am striving to teach them all of these things I can know it will be true for them. And for now - as we were recently told in conference - I dont need to know everything - but for now, I know enough.
Do you ever have those days that you feel so helpless against the ills of the world that you arent sure what to do or if what you do even matters.
This last week/weekend has really whammied my life with the ills and hurt the world has to throw at us.
In just the last 48 hours I have found out about a young woman who is missing from her family and is most likely in a very dangerous situation. What hurts my heart the most for her family is knowing she left of her own will and choice. I also found out about 2 brothers who have gone missing and may be lost to our local river. I have talked with a man on our CERT team who lost his sweet wife over the weekend. I have talked with another woman on our CERT team who is losing her husband to divorce.
I have a dear, sweet friend who I think is very sick but cant tell anyone yet what is happening. She is trying her best, with the help of her darling children and amazing husband, to come to a point where she is able to accept this new and overwhelming challenge in her life before she is ready to let anyone else know what that challenge is.
I think about her, pray for her, worry about her, wish that I were closer to be able to help her with all the little things that become big things when life is challenging.
The gray weather, clouds, & heavy fog weigh heavily on me these days. Winter is here and I sometimes wish I could hybernate like animals do and go to bed and not come out until it is warm and sunny again. My mind, will and smallest desires dont want to comply with all that is before me every day to have to accomplish. On my extra bad days I dont ever make it out of my PJ's or into a shower - no matter where I need to be. More often than not I have been even dropping the boys off to school still not dressed in any way but the way I climbed out of bed.
I agreed to participate in a family contest for "biggest loser" in which I am gaining instead of losing. My one argument up front was that last time it took a YEAR to get baby weight off - and we only have a little over 3 months. I am trying to do everything I can and if there is any difference at all it is only in ounces. Losing the contest will be a big ouch to the bank acct as there is much at stake with all that each family member contributed to the "pot". It is discouraging to be trying so hard and seeing little or no progress.
My photography has taken off and become very overwhelming at the same time. I have had tons of people approach me for picts. I have done some amazing work through great blessings. Through the encouragement of others I have decided to charge for my work and offer special holiday picts in a portrait setting vs a 5 minute "mall" experience. In the process I think I have bungled more than not - trying to get flyers out in the wrong venue (church) - something I am trying to undo and promise to never do again. I have found the little that I do know about my camera and photography is nothing to the amount of things I DONT know about my camera and photography. So much that is is very overwhelming at times.
I got the amazing opportunity to possibly get my 1st corporate shoot only to have probably lost it before I ever got the chance because we are still working out the "kinks" in the business end of things. My holiday special photo offer so far has bombed completely and the only shoots I have scheduled are for a couple that I am going to do for free for friends and family who are going to let me play and practice some new ideas.
For all of this sadness, frustration and challenging circumstances I know I have much to be grateful for. Health, safety, preston's job, blessings that come with using a gift to serve others, a warm, safe home, the ability to keep working on gospel principles, having the ability to fill the physical needs of our family, the list can go on and on.
Maybe the answers to all of these challenges and hurt is in the thoughts that came to me as I was driving through the fog yesterday.
As I was driving Kels down to her dr appt the fog was very thick and dense. I could only see a car length in any direction. My thoughts strayed to Lehi's dream about the Tree of Life. The way to the tree was blocked by great mists of darkness. I felt engulfed in those mists yesterday - knowing that if I were to drive or walk in any direction into "wilderness" that I would be very lost and in very big trouble - just like what happened to those in Lehi's dream.
The only true path to the tree was by holding on to the iron rod. If people let go for any reason they were most likely lost from the true path to peace, safety and eternal blessings. I thought about that as I drove, not being able to see in front of me or around me much at all. The white line painted on the side of the road was all I had to keep me safe and going in the right direction to reach my desired destination. My faith and trust was in that line - knowing if I stayed on the road that I would make it to where I needed to be. It seems silly to think about faith in a painted line, or that the sun will rise every morning, or that the rain and cold will turn into a warm and sunny spring. These are things we just take for granted that will just happen. We never doubt for a moment that they wont happen.
In today's world with its ever growing ills and challenges and as we watch wicked men become more bold and gain more power our need to "hold to the rod" is even more important. More often than not this statement is changing - we are not asked to just hold on anymore - but we are admonished to hold on tightly with both hand and all our strength.
How do we continue to hold on? We continue to try hard every day to do those things we know are right and that will bless our families - read and study the scriptures, family & personal prayer, FHE, attending meetings and the temple if we are able, we continue to build our food storage and emergency supplies, we try to save $, even if it is a little bit, we keep working to get out of debt, we never fail in following the prophet and apostles, we strive to be worthy of the promptings of the spirit and make sure we heed his counsel and direction when it comes.
These are the small and simple things of the gospel. Sometimes they seem like they are so overwhelming that we will never get to them all. All we are asked to do is try our very best and the rest will fall into place. By doing our best every day - whether that is getting everything done, or one small thing done, we are moving forward. We are trying to strengthen our testimonies and teach our children what is most important. One small step forward is one step in the right direction - moving us towards eternal goals.
One small step forward will be what helps us get through these trying times and all that the world may try to throw at us. Faith that we will be blessed for our efforts, and be ever grateful for those blessings, will also help see us through. Having friends, family, children, & spouses to stand by us, and us to stand by them, will give all of us the strength to get through one more minute, or hour, or day. Knowing that we are never alone, even in our darkest hour, can bring even a small glimmer of light into our hearts and our lives that will help us to endure all that may be thrown at us.
It is amazing to me that these "epiphanies" can be set off by the smallest thing. Mine was set off by driving through the fog. The challenge for me is believing all the things that I have written down - trying to get my brain to ignore all the voices that still tell me that these things work for everyone else but me, trying to get beyond all the pain and darkness of my past to try and find some light for the present and future. There are moments when I know all of these things are impossible to achieve and then other smaller moments when I think things are starting to sink in. Even if my brain doesnt let me believe it for myself - it does believe it for my children - and as long as I am striving to teach them all of these things I can know it will be true for them. And for now - as we were recently told in conference - I dont need to know everything - but for now, I know enough.
Monday, November 17, 2008
HERE IS ANOTHER FUN ONE!
I saw that I had been "tagged" again - this is something I am enjoying about blogging - it is journaling, family history, building relationships (even with people you thought you already knew everything about!) and it has just been way fun. Thanks Lish for thinking of me!
A--Attached or Single: Attached (this one could also be an M for married)
B--Best Friend: Preston, Christy & Martha
C--Cake or Pie: Both! Chocolate cake topped with cherries & cream/Strawberry Rubarb pie w/cream that a good friend makes
D--Day of Choice: Saturday
E--Essential Item: My scriptures & my camera - I try not to go very far without either
F--Favorite Color: purple
G--Greatest Accomplishment: joining the church, marrying an amazing man and bringing 6 kiddos into this world
H--Hometown: Sugarhouse & Sandy UT
I--Indulgences: Keebler's SOFT & CHEWY choc chip cookies, snickers bars
J--January or July: July--July - it is my bday and it is our family "have a party every week" month
K--Kids: Ceana, Kaeli, Caiden, Colton, Kylan, Kelsianne, does Preston count? :)
L--Life is incomplete without: having my husband tell me he loves me, colton's goodbye hugs & kisses, seeing kels smile every time she wakes up from a nap, seeing my girls goof around with their dad, watching caiden be so thoughtful and helpful with his brothers
M--Marriage Date: July 21, 1993
N--Number of Siblings: One: Sean
O--Oranges or Apples: Both! I LOVE the baby oranges we get at Christmas and I love a crisp apple any time
P--Phobias or fears: the dark, bridges over water, SNAKES
Q--Quotes: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the things that take our breath away" - unknown
R--Reason to Smile: Anytime my kids are being goofballs
S--Season: Spring & Fall - the color changes are just amazing to me
T--Tag 5 Friends: Julie, Brittney, Kim H, Kymberly, Dawn
U--Unknown facts about me: I have never broken any bones or had cavities or braces
V--Very favorite store: I hate shopping, but when we were on vacation we found this WAY fun toy store in Florence, good thing we live far away - I could prob spend lots of money there for my kiddos
W--Worst habit: I still bite my nails
X--X-ray or Ultra Sound: Ultra sound
Y--Your favorite food: most anything that is chocolate, foreign foods, white fish fixed just about any way, pancakes
Zodiac: Cancer
A--Attached or Single: Attached (this one could also be an M for married)
B--Best Friend: Preston, Christy & Martha
C--Cake or Pie: Both! Chocolate cake topped with cherries & cream/Strawberry Rubarb pie w/cream that a good friend makes
D--Day of Choice: Saturday
E--Essential Item: My scriptures & my camera - I try not to go very far without either
F--Favorite Color: purple
G--Greatest Accomplishment: joining the church, marrying an amazing man and bringing 6 kiddos into this world
H--Hometown: Sugarhouse & Sandy UT
I--Indulgences: Keebler's SOFT & CHEWY choc chip cookies, snickers bars
J--January or July: July--July - it is my bday and it is our family "have a party every week" month
K--Kids: Ceana, Kaeli, Caiden, Colton, Kylan, Kelsianne, does Preston count? :)
L--Life is incomplete without: having my husband tell me he loves me, colton's goodbye hugs & kisses, seeing kels smile every time she wakes up from a nap, seeing my girls goof around with their dad, watching caiden be so thoughtful and helpful with his brothers
M--Marriage Date: July 21, 1993
N--Number of Siblings: One: Sean
O--Oranges or Apples: Both! I LOVE the baby oranges we get at Christmas and I love a crisp apple any time
P--Phobias or fears: the dark, bridges over water, SNAKES
Q--Quotes: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the things that take our breath away" - unknown
R--Reason to Smile: Anytime my kids are being goofballs
S--Season: Spring & Fall - the color changes are just amazing to me
T--Tag 5 Friends: Julie, Brittney, Kim H, Kymberly, Dawn
U--Unknown facts about me: I have never broken any bones or had cavities or braces
V--Very favorite store: I hate shopping, but when we were on vacation we found this WAY fun toy store in Florence, good thing we live far away - I could prob spend lots of money there for my kiddos
W--Worst habit: I still bite my nails
X--X-ray or Ultra Sound: Ultra sound
Y--Your favorite food: most anything that is chocolate, foreign foods, white fish fixed just about any way, pancakes
Zodiac: Cancer
Sunday, November 16, 2008
HAPPY SINGERS, STRONG TESTIMONIES
There is nothing more wonderful, after having a horrible morning and kiddos being totally at each other, than seeing them work well together and to hear them singing songs of faith & strength.
Some of my kiddos favorite videos are the Living Scriptures Book of Mormon series. We still have them in VHS form, and they are definately starting to show their wear....
How thankful I am for the music CD's that also come with the series. Songs that teach of faith and strength and gospel values.
Tonight I have been listening as Caiden and Kaeli (usually my 2 that fight like cats & dogs) as they have prepared one of their favorite dinners (quick fix pizza) TOGETHER, and listening to them sing a song that teaches them about things they are going to need in these ever changing times when the world is going the wrong direction.
See if you will agree with me that we will need this point of view and this inner strength to see us through...
"Like the sea that never will be moved am I. Like the stars that time will never alter."
"All my trust will be, oh Lord, in thee. In thy love, my faith will never falter."
The rest of the song tells the story of changing times when people of faith are being persecuted and threatened with death for following the prophet and believing in Christ. They are looking for the signs of the Savior's coming. Some are faithful, some waiver in the pressure from the wicked men around them and the knowledge that they could really die, giving in to the fear of men instead of standing fast in their faith in the Lord. The song is a testimony of the people, standing together in faith, following the prophet, believing the Savior WILL come even knowing that they may have to give their lives for believing so.
In the end, the sign of his coming did happen, the wicked were destroyed, those who waivered were welcomed back, all testimonies were strengthened. The Savior did come into this world.
Isnt it so amazing and wonderful that the scriptures were written and the records were kept, not for the people of ancient America, but for US. The scriptures become more alive every day as I watch the world continue to repeat itself and all the signs and wonders and the prophesies be fulfilled. It is a fearful and a fantastic time to live. If we can study and heed the teachings of the prohpets, the scriptures, and the Savior how great can be our joy and peace in these perilous and ever changing times.
I know we are striving to do better each day. We are trying to be good examples to our children and to others around us. We are striving to do those things to help our family - studying the scriptures, saying prayers, holding FHE, attending the temple, studying the words of the prophet and apostles. We are working on increasing our food and water storage. We are working on teaching our children to be strong and to stand fast no matter where they are. We are encouraging them use their voices to express faith in upholding gospel standards, no matter where they are or who they are with. We are in awe of their strength and faith as we watch them share gospel principles with friends. We try to find those teaching moments when they come home with concerns or difficult experiences from school or with peers.
We are by no means perfect at any of these things. But we are striving to be. Hearing my kiddos singing songs of faith and choosing to watch movies that teach about the scriptures and gospel principles tells me we are on the right road. We dont know everything, or do everything right all the time (seems mostly never of the time), but for today, what we are doing is enough. Hearing their sweet voices and their testimonies in song tells me so.
Some of my kiddos favorite videos are the Living Scriptures Book of Mormon series. We still have them in VHS form, and they are definately starting to show their wear....
How thankful I am for the music CD's that also come with the series. Songs that teach of faith and strength and gospel values.
Tonight I have been listening as Caiden and Kaeli (usually my 2 that fight like cats & dogs) as they have prepared one of their favorite dinners (quick fix pizza) TOGETHER, and listening to them sing a song that teaches them about things they are going to need in these ever changing times when the world is going the wrong direction.
See if you will agree with me that we will need this point of view and this inner strength to see us through...
"Like the sea that never will be moved am I. Like the stars that time will never alter."
"All my trust will be, oh Lord, in thee. In thy love, my faith will never falter."
The rest of the song tells the story of changing times when people of faith are being persecuted and threatened with death for following the prophet and believing in Christ. They are looking for the signs of the Savior's coming. Some are faithful, some waiver in the pressure from the wicked men around them and the knowledge that they could really die, giving in to the fear of men instead of standing fast in their faith in the Lord. The song is a testimony of the people, standing together in faith, following the prophet, believing the Savior WILL come even knowing that they may have to give their lives for believing so.
In the end, the sign of his coming did happen, the wicked were destroyed, those who waivered were welcomed back, all testimonies were strengthened. The Savior did come into this world.
Isnt it so amazing and wonderful that the scriptures were written and the records were kept, not for the people of ancient America, but for US. The scriptures become more alive every day as I watch the world continue to repeat itself and all the signs and wonders and the prophesies be fulfilled. It is a fearful and a fantastic time to live. If we can study and heed the teachings of the prohpets, the scriptures, and the Savior how great can be our joy and peace in these perilous and ever changing times.
I know we are striving to do better each day. We are trying to be good examples to our children and to others around us. We are striving to do those things to help our family - studying the scriptures, saying prayers, holding FHE, attending the temple, studying the words of the prophet and apostles. We are working on increasing our food and water storage. We are working on teaching our children to be strong and to stand fast no matter where they are. We are encouraging them use their voices to express faith in upholding gospel standards, no matter where they are or who they are with. We are in awe of their strength and faith as we watch them share gospel principles with friends. We try to find those teaching moments when they come home with concerns or difficult experiences from school or with peers.
We are by no means perfect at any of these things. But we are striving to be. Hearing my kiddos singing songs of faith and choosing to watch movies that teach about the scriptures and gospel principles tells me we are on the right road. We dont know everything, or do everything right all the time (seems mostly never of the time), but for today, what we are doing is enough. Hearing their sweet voices and their testimonies in song tells me so.
Friday, November 14, 2008
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY KIDS
As always, Julie continues to be an amazing inspiration - in so many ways! She recently posted on her blog a birthday tribute to her oldest daughter. She wrote as many things about Q as how old she is (15 "whys for turning 15). My oldest daughter is just a year younger than Q - also a teenager. Sometimes I think that says it all - she is a teenager - and there is alot for both of us to learn.
After a recent meltdown (from all the kids AND me) and a long letter from my daughter I thought that I don't need the reason of a birthday to let my kiddos know how much I love them and what I love about them. So here is my tribute to my kiddos - 1 reason for every year of their age.
Ce -
1- she always strives to do her best no matter what she is doing
2- she loves to serve others, esp her siblings and parents
3- she is very tender hearted. She can empathize with others and is always there to help out
4- she is a friend to everyone around her
5- she is a great example of what a missionary should be. She has made a goal and a savings account to prepare for serving a mission. She is well on her way as she continues to share her knowledge and testiomony with others around her
6-she is awesome at baking. She can take any recipe and make it even better than I can
7- she is a great big sister and takes time to play and help her brothers and sister
8- she can see what needs to be done and goes out and does it - usually without being asked
9- she still loves to hug her mom & dad and say "love you" - something I hope she will always keep
10- she is an amazing student. she always works really hard enjoys learning new things
11- she takes after her dad in just about every way - it is fun to see them chatting or laughing together and sharing special moments
12- she takes great picts. she is becoming quite the photographer herself - and with the camera I can never get to work right for me
13- she is forgiving - she doesnt stay mad or hold grudges - esp with her ever struggling mom
14- (this is one to grow on as she will be a big 14 in just a couple of months) she is kind and thoughtful to others around her. She tries hard to think about others first before she acts (or reacts) and is always willing to say "sorry" if she knows she is wrong or has hurt someone by her words or actions.
She is my oldest - and therefore usually my "ginuea pig". I seem to make all my mistakes worst with her and yet she continues to be my example of how I want to be. She is my angel and I know I would be lost without her
Ka -
1) She loves to laugh. I often find myself smiling as I listen to her with her brothers or her dad as they goof around together
2) She is a great big sister. She is constantly willing to help her brothers with anything they need
3) She is an awesome cook. I know that if I am not feeling well, or just because she wants to, I can completely turn the kitchen over to her and she can fix just about any meal we love to eat
4) She still likes to snuggle - whether it is having her little brother or sister on her lap, or herself plopped next to her dad, she still loves to be close to others
5) She loves to sing - everywhere and anywhere. It is an indication that she is happy. She also loves singing with others - in church choir, school choir, or singing silly songs with her brothers or sister. Singing usually leads to laughing and goofing too which is fun for me to hear and know that she is happy and enjoying being part of our family
6) She is awesome at studying her scriptures - and remembering and sharing what she has read. She has been a great example to me as I watch her take time for her scriptures no matter where we are or how late at night it is.
7) She is a wonderful student. She works hard to keep her grades up and puts everything she has into projects and assignments
8) She is a wonderful artist - though she doesnt think so - it has been something she has always liked to do and she is getting really good as replicating drawings for assingments or drawing just for fun. She loves playing with colors and giving her works of art to others
9) She is a good example to others as she stands strong in the gospel. As the world changes it seems she watches most of her friends change with it. Often are the times she comes to me because of peers' behaviors or choices. Often are the teaching moments when we talk about the gospel and how blessed we are to have it in our lives.
10) Her eyes are the exact same color of her hair. It is striking as her hair is a deep auburn color. Her eyes shine when she is happy, cloud when she is sad or ill, her eyes reflect who she is and how she is feeling. They are amazing to look at as they glow on her sweet face.
11) She loves to play & read with her younger siblings. Often I have heard her laughing, playing, goofing with them. She sings and acts silly just to get them to laugh too. She shares her joy with them and it brings them (and me) joy too. She reads and does all the voices and inflections to bring the stories alive for the little boys. They love it when she can take time to spend with them.
She is my 2nd daughter (she used to be the youngest) and it amazes me that she is so completely different from her older sister. She has brought so much sunshine and fun to our family. I know we would be missing the great joys in life if we didnt have her as part of our family. We are so thankful that she is.
Ca-
1) He is very sweet and caring to his younger brothers - esp Ky. He has helped many times to get the boys a story and tuck them all in bed.
2) He is very enthusiastic. He gets excited about lots of things - esp school which is a big relief to me this year
3) He is a very good reader. He loves to read now that he can do it on his own. He is so good about coming home and doing his reading homework right away. He esp loves books about odd creatures or adventure stories
4) He likes to serve with his dad. Several times Preston hasnt had a HT partner or has taken Caiden with him on different service projects. Caiden is always excited and ready to go. He loves to help others, esp with his dad
5) He is a great eater. I never thought I would get to say that - he has been my kiddo to fight over food, esp dinner. He has been really great to try new foods in the last little while and I think he has been as surprised as I have been that he has found he likes so many new things
6) He likes pancakes - and to help make them. We have found there are several foods that are a "must have" and "do have" very often. Pancakes are one of them. Caiden is getting really good at being a big helper to make them.
7) He is a good student. I have had the opportunity to talk with Caiden's teacher this year and hear how wonderfully he is doing in class. He has even been selected as Student of the Month and has been invited to an awards ceremony next week at school. I am so thrilled that he is finally loving school and doing so well. It is great to know he is so happy and excited about learning and that he tries so hard to do his best at school.
8) He has a spunky personality. He has always been nicknamed our "little leprechaun" because he has the personality to go with his copper colored hair and green eyes. He likes to laugh and play and he often has a contagious laughter that makes everyone laugh with him.
Caiden is a really great kiddo. Being my oldest son, there are lots of things that I feel like I do for the 1st time with him - he is so different than the girls. He & I struggle at times, but we also have tons of fun together. I am so glad that he is in our family.
Co -
1) He is a great student. He has surprised us all this year by doing so amazingly well in school and with his peers. He loves to be there and he is learning a lot.
2) He loves simple things - frozen berries, reading a story, making a tent out of the coffee table. He is my example of how to enjoy the simple things in life.
3) He is an eating machine. It makes me laugh that I feed him and feed him just to have him tell me he is hungry a few minutes later! It is fun that he asks for healthy things to eat. His new favorite snack is frozen berries.
4) He is learning and growing all the time. There was once a time when we were told by drs that he would be delayed in lots of things, and there were things he may never do. He has proved everyone wrong by doing all sorts of things. He is learning to be more independent and trying new things at home and at school. It is fun for me to watch him as he has learned how to get dressed and get shoes on - things he has really struggled with. As he grows he continues to grow and change and it is wonderful.
5) He reminds me of the importance of gospel principles. His new favorite thing is to ask - every day - "can we do FHE"? Or "we need to read scriptures!" He is excited about these things and looks forward to the time we spend together learning about the gospel. I hope it will always be so.
6) (this is also one to grow on as his bday also isnt far away) I love that he is excited about exercising. He has really taken to one of my exercise videos and he will do it by himself even if I dont. He really gets into it and is getting really good at following along to the different routines. I am glad it has become a good outlet for his energy on the extra rainy days of winter
Colton has been our fragile one for so long. He had a rough start and it has been a long road. He has been the one to help me make big life changes. He has been the one who always needs me. He is getting so big and doing so much on his own now. It is so nice for me that he still asks me to play with him or read to him or do exercises - I know that wont last forever. I am thankful for his sweet spirit in our home and for what a difference he makes to all of us.
Ky -
1) He is a goofball. I am constantly in stitches over his antics, silly faces and teasing ways. This morning was no exception. As I was working in the office he came in to me - just in a diaper and undershirt (he has figured out how to undress himself). A little later I went into the TV to get him and found him watching a movie, sitting on the "empire" (our nickname for our HUGE automan) buck naked all except for colton's oversized pair of Lightning McQueen slippers. It was all I could do to not just bust my guts laughing. He has done this several times recently and I have resorted to putting his clothes on backwards so he cant get them off.
He is also a mischief maker when it comes to that goofball side. Earlier this week we had cookies for dessert. He hadnt finished his dinner and he knew that meant no cookies. A little while after dinner he came in saying cookie and pointing to his mouth. I reminded him he couldnt have a cookie since he hadnt eaten his dinner. He kept repeating and I eventually realized he was trying to tell me he had already eaten one. The girls and I couldnt figure out how he would've gotten one or who had given him one because everyone knows the rules. Just a short time after that we were in the kitchen working on clean up when ceana jumped across the floor fussing at Ky. We figured out how he had gotten the cookie - he was caught red-handed literally doing a chin up on the bartop and had pulled himself up to where the cookies were and was snagging another one when ceana saw him. He is such a little stinker! It was hard not to laugh at his audacity and ingenuity.
He loves to laugh and tease and with his ever growing vocabulary he is getting pretty good at appropriate responses to teasing and joking around. He makes all sorts of silly faces and his laugh is very contagious.
2) He is my car boy. No matter where he goes or what he is doing you can be sure that he always has at least 1 car in hand. He is actually getting pretty good at doing things 1 handed because 1 hand always has a car in it. More often though - it is his arms full of cars, trucks, trains, whatever he can find. The other boys never loved cars really, Ky makes up for that in a big way. It is funny to watch him play or hear him call out to big trucks (macs) or cars or trains when we are driving in the car.
I told a friend earlier today he is an angel and a monster all rolled into one little 2 yr old body. He is a challenge and a joy. He makes me laugh til I have tears running down my face. I dont know what we would ever do without him.
Kels -
1) She is such a happy baby - most of the time. She is a whatever, go-with-the-flow kind of girl. She is getting so big already. I cant believe she is going to be 6 months old. She is laughing and chattering, she is getting her 2 bottom front teeth, she picks up and plays with her toys, she sits all by herself. She loves to be held - and loves to sleep in her swing. She has to be where the action is at all times and lets you know how put out she is if she feels like she has been left all alone.
She has been such a sweet addition to our family. It is hard to realize that she is our last. All of her "firsts" are also our "lasts" - it makes me cherish them even more. Even with our rough days I know we are all so happy that she is here with us now and that she is such a wonderful part of our family
Well, that took a lot longer than I thought - not to think of things, but to type when I am 1/2 asleep:) We are really very blessed to have such wonderful kiddos. They are our joy and I know that I have been very lucky to get to be their mom.
After a recent meltdown (from all the kids AND me) and a long letter from my daughter I thought that I don't need the reason of a birthday to let my kiddos know how much I love them and what I love about them. So here is my tribute to my kiddos - 1 reason for every year of their age.
Ce -
1- she always strives to do her best no matter what she is doing
2- she loves to serve others, esp her siblings and parents
3- she is very tender hearted. She can empathize with others and is always there to help out
4- she is a friend to everyone around her
5- she is a great example of what a missionary should be. She has made a goal and a savings account to prepare for serving a mission. She is well on her way as she continues to share her knowledge and testiomony with others around her
6-she is awesome at baking. She can take any recipe and make it even better than I can
7- she is a great big sister and takes time to play and help her brothers and sister
8- she can see what needs to be done and goes out and does it - usually without being asked
9- she still loves to hug her mom & dad and say "love you" - something I hope she will always keep
10- she is an amazing student. she always works really hard enjoys learning new things
11- she takes after her dad in just about every way - it is fun to see them chatting or laughing together and sharing special moments
12- she takes great picts. she is becoming quite the photographer herself - and with the camera I can never get to work right for me
13- she is forgiving - she doesnt stay mad or hold grudges - esp with her ever struggling mom
14- (this is one to grow on as she will be a big 14 in just a couple of months) she is kind and thoughtful to others around her. She tries hard to think about others first before she acts (or reacts) and is always willing to say "sorry" if she knows she is wrong or has hurt someone by her words or actions.
She is my oldest - and therefore usually my "ginuea pig". I seem to make all my mistakes worst with her and yet she continues to be my example of how I want to be. She is my angel and I know I would be lost without her
Ka -
1) She loves to laugh. I often find myself smiling as I listen to her with her brothers or her dad as they goof around together
2) She is a great big sister. She is constantly willing to help her brothers with anything they need
3) She is an awesome cook. I know that if I am not feeling well, or just because she wants to, I can completely turn the kitchen over to her and she can fix just about any meal we love to eat
4) She still likes to snuggle - whether it is having her little brother or sister on her lap, or herself plopped next to her dad, she still loves to be close to others
5) She loves to sing - everywhere and anywhere. It is an indication that she is happy. She also loves singing with others - in church choir, school choir, or singing silly songs with her brothers or sister. Singing usually leads to laughing and goofing too which is fun for me to hear and know that she is happy and enjoying being part of our family
6) She is awesome at studying her scriptures - and remembering and sharing what she has read. She has been a great example to me as I watch her take time for her scriptures no matter where we are or how late at night it is.
7) She is a wonderful student. She works hard to keep her grades up and puts everything she has into projects and assignments
8) She is a wonderful artist - though she doesnt think so - it has been something she has always liked to do and she is getting really good as replicating drawings for assingments or drawing just for fun. She loves playing with colors and giving her works of art to others
9) She is a good example to others as she stands strong in the gospel. As the world changes it seems she watches most of her friends change with it. Often are the times she comes to me because of peers' behaviors or choices. Often are the teaching moments when we talk about the gospel and how blessed we are to have it in our lives.
10) Her eyes are the exact same color of her hair. It is striking as her hair is a deep auburn color. Her eyes shine when she is happy, cloud when she is sad or ill, her eyes reflect who she is and how she is feeling. They are amazing to look at as they glow on her sweet face.
11) She loves to play & read with her younger siblings. Often I have heard her laughing, playing, goofing with them. She sings and acts silly just to get them to laugh too. She shares her joy with them and it brings them (and me) joy too. She reads and does all the voices and inflections to bring the stories alive for the little boys. They love it when she can take time to spend with them.
She is my 2nd daughter (she used to be the youngest) and it amazes me that she is so completely different from her older sister. She has brought so much sunshine and fun to our family. I know we would be missing the great joys in life if we didnt have her as part of our family. We are so thankful that she is.
Ca-
1) He is very sweet and caring to his younger brothers - esp Ky. He has helped many times to get the boys a story and tuck them all in bed.
2) He is very enthusiastic. He gets excited about lots of things - esp school which is a big relief to me this year
3) He is a very good reader. He loves to read now that he can do it on his own. He is so good about coming home and doing his reading homework right away. He esp loves books about odd creatures or adventure stories
4) He likes to serve with his dad. Several times Preston hasnt had a HT partner or has taken Caiden with him on different service projects. Caiden is always excited and ready to go. He loves to help others, esp with his dad
5) He is a great eater. I never thought I would get to say that - he has been my kiddo to fight over food, esp dinner. He has been really great to try new foods in the last little while and I think he has been as surprised as I have been that he has found he likes so many new things
6) He likes pancakes - and to help make them. We have found there are several foods that are a "must have" and "do have" very often. Pancakes are one of them. Caiden is getting really good at being a big helper to make them.
7) He is a good student. I have had the opportunity to talk with Caiden's teacher this year and hear how wonderfully he is doing in class. He has even been selected as Student of the Month and has been invited to an awards ceremony next week at school. I am so thrilled that he is finally loving school and doing so well. It is great to know he is so happy and excited about learning and that he tries so hard to do his best at school.
8) He has a spunky personality. He has always been nicknamed our "little leprechaun" because he has the personality to go with his copper colored hair and green eyes. He likes to laugh and play and he often has a contagious laughter that makes everyone laugh with him.
Caiden is a really great kiddo. Being my oldest son, there are lots of things that I feel like I do for the 1st time with him - he is so different than the girls. He & I struggle at times, but we also have tons of fun together. I am so glad that he is in our family.
Co -
1) He is a great student. He has surprised us all this year by doing so amazingly well in school and with his peers. He loves to be there and he is learning a lot.
2) He loves simple things - frozen berries, reading a story, making a tent out of the coffee table. He is my example of how to enjoy the simple things in life.
3) He is an eating machine. It makes me laugh that I feed him and feed him just to have him tell me he is hungry a few minutes later! It is fun that he asks for healthy things to eat. His new favorite snack is frozen berries.
4) He is learning and growing all the time. There was once a time when we were told by drs that he would be delayed in lots of things, and there were things he may never do. He has proved everyone wrong by doing all sorts of things. He is learning to be more independent and trying new things at home and at school. It is fun for me to watch him as he has learned how to get dressed and get shoes on - things he has really struggled with. As he grows he continues to grow and change and it is wonderful.
5) He reminds me of the importance of gospel principles. His new favorite thing is to ask - every day - "can we do FHE"? Or "we need to read scriptures!" He is excited about these things and looks forward to the time we spend together learning about the gospel. I hope it will always be so.
6) (this is also one to grow on as his bday also isnt far away) I love that he is excited about exercising. He has really taken to one of my exercise videos and he will do it by himself even if I dont. He really gets into it and is getting really good at following along to the different routines. I am glad it has become a good outlet for his energy on the extra rainy days of winter
Colton has been our fragile one for so long. He had a rough start and it has been a long road. He has been the one to help me make big life changes. He has been the one who always needs me. He is getting so big and doing so much on his own now. It is so nice for me that he still asks me to play with him or read to him or do exercises - I know that wont last forever. I am thankful for his sweet spirit in our home and for what a difference he makes to all of us.
Ky -
1) He is a goofball. I am constantly in stitches over his antics, silly faces and teasing ways. This morning was no exception. As I was working in the office he came in to me - just in a diaper and undershirt (he has figured out how to undress himself). A little later I went into the TV to get him and found him watching a movie, sitting on the "empire" (our nickname for our HUGE automan) buck naked all except for colton's oversized pair of Lightning McQueen slippers. It was all I could do to not just bust my guts laughing. He has done this several times recently and I have resorted to putting his clothes on backwards so he cant get them off.
He is also a mischief maker when it comes to that goofball side. Earlier this week we had cookies for dessert. He hadnt finished his dinner and he knew that meant no cookies. A little while after dinner he came in saying cookie and pointing to his mouth. I reminded him he couldnt have a cookie since he hadnt eaten his dinner. He kept repeating and I eventually realized he was trying to tell me he had already eaten one. The girls and I couldnt figure out how he would've gotten one or who had given him one because everyone knows the rules. Just a short time after that we were in the kitchen working on clean up when ceana jumped across the floor fussing at Ky. We figured out how he had gotten the cookie - he was caught red-handed literally doing a chin up on the bartop and had pulled himself up to where the cookies were and was snagging another one when ceana saw him. He is such a little stinker! It was hard not to laugh at his audacity and ingenuity.
He loves to laugh and tease and with his ever growing vocabulary he is getting pretty good at appropriate responses to teasing and joking around. He makes all sorts of silly faces and his laugh is very contagious.
2) He is my car boy. No matter where he goes or what he is doing you can be sure that he always has at least 1 car in hand. He is actually getting pretty good at doing things 1 handed because 1 hand always has a car in it. More often though - it is his arms full of cars, trucks, trains, whatever he can find. The other boys never loved cars really, Ky makes up for that in a big way. It is funny to watch him play or hear him call out to big trucks (macs) or cars or trains when we are driving in the car.
I told a friend earlier today he is an angel and a monster all rolled into one little 2 yr old body. He is a challenge and a joy. He makes me laugh til I have tears running down my face. I dont know what we would ever do without him.
Kels -
1) She is such a happy baby - most of the time. She is a whatever, go-with-the-flow kind of girl. She is getting so big already. I cant believe she is going to be 6 months old. She is laughing and chattering, she is getting her 2 bottom front teeth, she picks up and plays with her toys, she sits all by herself. She loves to be held - and loves to sleep in her swing. She has to be where the action is at all times and lets you know how put out she is if she feels like she has been left all alone.
She has been such a sweet addition to our family. It is hard to realize that she is our last. All of her "firsts" are also our "lasts" - it makes me cherish them even more. Even with our rough days I know we are all so happy that she is here with us now and that she is such a wonderful part of our family
Well, that took a lot longer than I thought - not to think of things, but to type when I am 1/2 asleep:) We are really very blessed to have such wonderful kiddos. They are our joy and I know that I have been very lucky to get to be their mom.
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