Baxter Family: OUR SPECIAL FRIEND SPEEDY

I was hoping our first post about our new chickies would be to tell about all of our fun and joy. It turns out that our joy has turned to heartbreak all in a few short hours. Due to an accident we have lost one of our new little friends.

Ceana has been especially devastated as it was her little Speedy that was taken from us.

How does one so small and unknown become so precious and loved in just a few short hours? I dont know how it happens, but all of the chicks became dear to our hearts the moment they came into our lives. Each of the big kids has claimed and named a cute little fluffy bundle. Having them here with us for even these few short hours has really brought joy into our home and our hearts. It has brought a little more perspective and a little more knowledge and love for all of God's creatures, especially ones so delicate and sweet. It has taught us that life really is so fragile, and that every moment should be enjoyed and treasured.

There have been tears, and questions, and prayers, and more tears. Colton, even as young as he is, understands that Speedy is gone, but doesnt understand why Heavenly Father wont make Speedy alive again right now. It has been difficult to try to explain, and even understanding the great plan of life and death and renewal through the Savior, it does not make this heartbreak any easier. It is almost unreal that such a little one can bring such a great test of faith. The harder part will be having more tears tomorrow from Caiden, as he had gone to bed and does not know of the loss.

This life experience has opened an unexpected door to talking with the children about life, death and the resurrection. It has left me feeling very inadequate to do the job needed to comfort and teach them. Holding him in my hand, stroking his soft fluffy body, knowing he was gone, and yet pleading for his life has left me feeling even more helpless than before. All of our owies and drama (more posts to come) these last couple of weeks has left me feeling like a failure to protect the children from hurt and pain and fear - all things I know that I CAN'T protect them from, and yet wishing with all of my heart that I could. It has been and will continue to be great learning experience and trial.

We have chosen to take this time to let the kids tell all about the joy that has been brought into our lives this afternoon/evening. We will be holding a funeral for this dear little friend tomorrow. We will say our good-byes and he will be put to rest beneath the Spring daffodils in the front yard.

Here is a list of the joy we have had this afternoon. In coming days we will post more pictures and tell of the antics we have enjoyed and will enjoy in coming days and weeks as we share our home and our hearts with these sweet little babies.

1) I liked having Speedy with us because I was able to pet him. He was very soft and fluffy. (Colton)
2) He was funny because he would try and run away when we were trying to take his pict (Kaeli)
3) We loved Speedy very much. It makes us sad and makes us cry that he died. (Colton)
4) He was cute & fuzzy (Kaeli)
5) Ceana - Speedy was my baby. As I watched him die in my hand, I lost a very special friend. While I was at home today, spending time with him, the other chicks and mom, we had a wonderful time. We laughed at all of his escape attempts and calling to him "Come back here, Speedy!" He was even following me around. He was my favorite. I know that mom loved him too. I believe that as he sat on my shoulder during pictures, we formed a special friendship. I will never forget Speedy. He was mine.

We loved you, our dear friend, Speedy. (Kaeli)

As the Easter season fast approaches we will have a sweet little one to especially remember. Though he has been with us for such a short time, he has touched our lives in a big way. The coming days will be spent shedding tears, answering questions, discussing the Atonement, feeling the emptiness and loss, sharing and comforting grief. All great lessons to be learned in this life that we have been given. Heavenly Father has all power to give life and sunshine, and yet sometimes he "lets it rain" for our greater good and learning. I know it in my brain, but it is hard to process it in my heart, esp when I stand by helpless to adequately teach or comfort the kids in difficult times like these. Please keep the kids in your thoughts and prayers as we work through this difficult time with them.

Enjoy these sweet pictures of our little friend -