I woke at 2am this morning with uncomfy nausea already, and my brain racing to complete some things before I am totally down in the next couple of days.
There are so many things I want to share and post, esp extra details about appointments the last couple of days, and exta details and picts about our family outings that Preston has felt so important to give the kids.
Tonight, however, there is something I have felt more impressed that needs to be shared than those. I feel Heavenly Father has led my hand over these last few hours as I have tried to slowly write things down and feel imporant for others to know. So I guess, here it goes....
1) First, A special thank you - Dear Sisters & Friends, I am working so hard to get individual thanx notes written, but I have just not been well or strong enough yet to do so. I want to sincerely thank the sisters (and some of the brethren) for all of the generous and heartfelt service that is being extended to our family. The meals have been bounteous, and the emails, cards and gifts have been so very wonderful! It has meant so much to me to hear of all of those who have called to check on me, even though I have not been able to receive visitors, or been able to return calls myself. It has especially meant the world to me to know that our little ones are being so well cared for, and that so many are willing to give that help and support to my big kids so they can focus on being students instead of being the extra moms all the time. I will continue to strive to get out notes as I can, but it may be awhile in coming. Please know that our hearts are filled to overflowing with gratitude to all who have shown such great love, service and compassion to our family during these difficult months that have passed, and to all of those who will continue with us through these even more difficult months ahead. Our words can never express how much you are touching our lives as we are loved by you. You are truly Heavenly Father's angels to us, and we will be ever eternally grateful to all who have done, and will do so much. Thank you for everything. Love, Rory & The Baxter Family
2) Second, just some quick reminders for the sisters in the ward, and others who are giving so much help: (we just are finding these things need to be continually tweaked, so important to pass along)
*Meals have been, and continue to be, a wonderful blessing! Please remember to not cook for me, as I am not able to eat at all, or very little. Please gear meals towards our younger children when possible. If anyone needs ideas, we are happy to share a list of our favorite kiddo foods and favorite family recipes. Extra spices and such are not always best, we are pretty simple, so even though I know plain is boring, for now it is perfect. :) Please also remember, if you or anyone in your family is ill, that we can always reschedule your assignment with just a quick phone call to Preston or Goldie. Again, thank you so much for this simple, but so important service to our family.
*Each chemotherapy treatment works in cycles where my immune system is boosted for a bit, and then hits rock bottom. Since I have been experiencing more severe side effects, my immune system has been slower to recover from treatments. Please know, I love you and think about you, and as much as I would LOVE to have hugs and handshakes, it is extra important through these coming months to do as my doctor has directed and try to minimize physical contact. That being said, if I am feeling up to it, I am hoping that I will be able to make it to sacrament meeting on Christmas Day. I want to make sure there are no hurt feelings when I cant accept hugs or handshakes because I will be at my lowest immune point. It will be extra important for me to be there, if at all possible, for such a special day, and to be among all of you who I have missed so dearly. It hurts my heart to not be able to give or recive hugs and things right now, but I know that it will be extra important to keep me safe and healthy. So, if I am able to come to meetings (or outings or family events), I will look forward to smiles and waves, and even silly faces across the chapel if you feel so inclined :) Thank you for doing your very best to help me stay as healthy as possible during this challenging time.
*I know that there are still so many of you wondering how/when you can help our family. Preston is currently coordinating our service calendar with Goldie. If you have something you want to offer, please find or call preston and he will either get you set up to see our online calendar that you can fill in yourself, or you can physically find him at the church, or call, and he will slide you into a needed slot. Our biggest needs are still childcare for little ones, meals, and occassionally drivers for me as I am still not healthy enough to do this for myself. We already know the schedule at least 2 weeks in advance when these things will be needed, so it is a piece of cake for Preston or Goldie to add things to our calendar in plenty of time. If you have a special talent that you want to share, but you are not sure how, please chat with Preston, Goldie Burton or Jill Tharp. We have discovered this last cycle emerging and unexpected side effects that we have needed to find extra help with that we never even thought of. I have had special angels this week offer generous and unexpected gifts that have made such a huge difference and has truly touched my heart.
*One last thing to please consider. We know that this is a very difficult time for everyone around us. Our ward has never had to experience something of this magnitude, and we know that everyone is learning as we are also, ourselves, trying to figure things out. It is a very trying and emotional time for all, especially with everything constantly changing. We appreciate so much all of the concerns and well wishes. We know that sometimes it is hard to know what to say or ask. We know that there is a lot of information, and even sometimes misinformation out there about cancer. There can be too much info, or not enough. My particular cancer is much more involved and challenging than others, and correct info is not always readily available. Please know that you can ask any questions you want, and we are more than happy to honestly fill you in with as much as you would like to know. Know that well wishes and checking on Preston and the kids is also so very wonderful.
We have been so blessed through this long journey that every step and decision has been directed by Heavenly Father. When we havent known what to do, or even ask, He has opened doors and put everything that I, and our family, has needed into place perfectly. As hard as we know it is for many to see us go through the difficult appointments, treatments, after effects, and still continue with school at home, we know that everything we are doing and choosing for our family, medically, for school, and for offering our own service to others whenever possible, has been what Heavenly Father would have us do. I was promised in a special blessing many months ago that He would open all the doors and that He would direct every step of our path. He also told me that as we, and I, found ways to serve others even in the midst of our own difficulties, that our family would be blessed to receive all the service and help that we may need. Truly, these things have comforted my heart, and I have seen His promises be fulfilled daily. Even now, He has directed my hand to know what is important to share with you. I know the choices that we have made, and will make, are not what is right or best for everyone, but Heavenly Father continues to reassure us that these things are right for our little family. We appreciate so very much all of you for giving your friendship, love and support as His angels to help fulfill His promises to us in so many ways. Words can never express how much it means to receive your kindness, love and positive encouragement. Thank you so very much.
As always, we are happy to answer questions or concerns about anything at all. I know that all of this is SOOO challenging to try to process, and even more difficult when each treatment cycle throws us unexpected curveballs and complications, and we have to tweak things yet again. Thank you for being so patient with us and for everthing you do!
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