Rory Update 11/13

The last few days have been so full. I am not sure where to even start to write about everything. I will probably just do a recap here and hopefully remember everything.

Preston's post summed up our Thursday pretty well. He had more to share since I was pretty much unconscious for the surgical procedure and then most of the rest of that day/evening.

The one thing I do want to share is another little miracle that happened for surgery itself.

We didnt find out until that morning that the surgery location and procedure itself had changed. I was expecting my surgeon and to be put under general anesthetic. Instead I was surprised to find another surgeon, and that I was going to be conscious for the whole thing because they needed me to breathe for myself....I was not ok with that.

Just when they took me back for the surgery, the meds nurse could see I was very nervous. I told her I was not expecting to be conscious and that I was not doing ok with that. She again explained to me why it was necessary. She was very kind and trying to find humor in things told me that if I would breathe, she would give (meds). I knew that this was more than I could handle and silently plead with Heavenly Father to breathe for me so they could completely sedate me. He was so good in his answer. I ended up being so completely sedated that they had to call the heart tech to my recovery room because I was still unconscious way past when my appt at the heart center was supposed to be. {Preston update ... this wasn't a problem. She always wakes up slowly, so it wasn't unexpected. They called the technician - not a "heart tech" - to do her EKG while she was still asleep.} It was 2 hrs after surgery before I was awake enough to ask to please go home. The nurses were unsure about letting me go yet, but with Preston's reassurance that he would be with me the rest of the day they let me go home.

That night Jill and Preston babied my IV working hard and all of us continually praying to Heavenly Father to keep the IV line clear so it would be useable for my procedure on Friday. {Preston update: remember that they had to stick her FOUR times to get that line started, and we didn't want to go through THAT again.}

It was a very long night for all of us having to wake and flush the line every few hours and into the late morning.

An angel came forward on Friday AM to take me to and stay with me for all of my appts. It was hard for me and Preston knowing he had to be at drill to fulfill all of his responsibilities for the big day the unit had. A sister from our ward volunteered her time so that I would not be alone. It was a great blessing for all of us.

The back-to-back procedures on Friday were exhausting, but went better than expected. I was esp pleasantly surprised with the PETscan. If I had been given all of the "why's" of the test and the info I got that morning, there would have been nothing to worry about. The tech was great and explained everything and answered every question. I ended up with the test pretty much being a 1 hour nap!

When everything was done Heavenly Father again answered unspoken prayers. Just when I finished the last appt and walked out the door, wishing I didnt have to walk to the other building for our last appt, there was Preston pulling into the driveway. That might not seem unsual, except he was at the wrong building, and had not gotten any of my messages that our last appt time had been moved up by 30 min. Heavenly Father had heard me tell the sister who had taken me to the appts to not worry about staying because Preston would be there when I was done. He was there, and he was the one surprised when I told him it was so perfect because our appt was right then. Heavenly Father had led him to be with me at just the very most perfect second and perfect timing for our appt with the surgeon. True tender mercies.

Our appt with the surgeon went well. I am more and more sure every time we see him that he has been heaven sent to us for this time. I think that has been true of all of the oncology team that we have met so far. It has made these last weeks more bearable for sure.

I wish I could say I have stayed so positive. Yesterday and today, however, I think everything finally caught up to me too. I did a total meltdown on Preston yesterday and spent the day being very angry about everything. Today I have just cried and cried. I didnt end up going to meetings. I was so physically exhausted and struggling with the port site, plus I was just emotionally not stable enough to be around others. The tears flowed even more when 4 of our YM from the ward came to administer the sacrament just for me after the block. I am sure Ceana thought I had completely lost it because all I could do was cry, and I couldnt even tell her why...

This afternoon we had special friends from the ward, including bishop's wife and RS presidency, come to calendar and brainstorm with us to help start filling needs that we can forsee at this time. We got help in place for chemo on Friday and Saturday. We also have sisters ready to help kiddos with homework as will be needed. I feel so overwhelmed right now, it is hard for me to process all of these wonderful sisters being ready and so willing to help me and us through these difficult months. One sister teased that she thought it hysterical that they were trying to put together a team of women to do all the things I do by myself. The other sisters got a good laugh out of that too. It is going to be part of the learning process for me to allow myself and our family to be given service in so many areas....it is easy to serve, but hard to learn to allow ourselves to be given service.

We should have several test results back in the next couple of days. I will be sure to post more when I have more updates.