A COLLAGE OF ADVENTURES

The last couple of weeks have been busting at the seams with extra appointments and activities. I decided it might be easiest to just put them all in one place. Enjoy!

Preston took Caiden and Colton on the priesthood campout this weekend. This is the one pict that he took to show their camp set up. It sounds like they had tons of fun, and looked like it too since the boys came home filthy dirty and with huge smiles on their faces. The girls hosted a "girls'" night with their best friends and enjoyed having the whole house pretty much to themselves to cook and make treats and have movie-thons.

Monday was Memorial Day. Here in Indpendence they have an annual air show at our local airport. Preston took the 4 big kids and met our friends the Jeffries and the Weatherreds. It looks like Ceana had lots of fun with the camera -if you look carefully at this top pict you can see the reflections she caught on the side of the plane. There were serveral others she took that were very "fine art" kind of stuff. The girls are getting a good eye and lots of practice. It sounds like all the kids had a great time together too. There are always TONS of planes on display and this year they also had antique cars, and other extras they havent done before.

Preston was actually home for Memorial Day this year and wanted to be sure to take the kids to the ceremony at our local park. There used to be a covered wagon display on this corner and now there is a special memorial monument. This is the first time they have ever done something like this and it sounds like it was really nice. Preston wanted to make sure the kids' understood what Memorial Day is for, instead of just thinking of it as a day off to play. They enjoyed the whole day together and I think they learned alot too.

Last weekend our ward had their annual "sports & splash" BBQ. It got an extra small turnout with it being the Friday of the holiday break - but those families who did go had lots of fun. Preston took the 4 big kids with him and they helped and played and enjoyed eating lots of yummy food.

Just a small update on my appts. I went to a new dr appt this week and it seems like it might work ok. There were lots of ??? I felt like I couldnt answer, though, so I am going to have a friend help me brainstorm those answers for the next appt. The dr. was quiet and I felt like he really listened to me, even though I was struggling to try to explain or answer. I will prob have several appts in a row about every two weeks. The appts will include more labs, discussing natural herbs and things to try, massage therapy and actupunture (sp?). I am a bit nervous about that since I have never had it done before, but if it works and helps that is worth trying something new.

I continue to struggle with anything basic or difficult, and actually crashed again this week. All the non-sleep and extra traveling every day for appts completely wiped me out and I spent a scary day mostly flat down in our recliner chair, trying to find the strength and energy to care for me/little people's bare minimum needs. I am doing a bit better the last couple of days, but exhaustion seeems to be the theme of my life and it is really hampering any healing that we are trying to accomplish. We will just keep taking a day at a time, or less as needed, and I do what I can and try to let the rest go. The hardest thing for me right now is needing to keep adding childcare needs to our schedule - the more appts we add, the more I need help with kiddos. Thankfully school will be out next week and Kaeli will probably be more than happy to earn babysitting $. For now, though, it is a constant challenge, esp knowing how many appts there are in just the next 2 weeks again. Again, we will try to make things work and do the best we can even though things are so hard.
Look for more "collage" adventure posts as we continue through these last 2 weeks of school. There will be TONS going on and lots to tell about - stay tuned....

AN EXTRA BUSY WEEK

This week is turning out to be much more adventurous than originally planned.
Monday, Preston spent the day with the big kids on a fun day of outings and yummy food. We went to the movies together that night along with our 2 best friends' families. I will have picts to post soon of some of their adventures.

Tuesday was a catch up from Monday, including re-scheduling of Monday appts. It also included a very disappointing and discouraging appointment with Colton's teacher and special needs team at school. They have determined he still does have many needs to help him be successful in school. The concern is he will most likely NOT get those needs met in a projected class size of 30-35 students. He will also only be given 5 HOURS, spread out over the whole school year, of "observation" from the OT and speech specialists. 5 hours out of hundreds, leaving the enforcement of his IEP (individualized education plan) to a teacher who will already be overwhelmed and overburdened.
I was very emotional during the meeting, but left feeling like our decision to put the kids into an accredited home study program will be the right decision, esp for Colton.
Colton's private OT therapy session went lots better this week, besides the fact that he has become much more difficult in following directions. Once he got going he did quite well and I left feeling like we had a much better experience -esp compared to last week.
That night Preston was out of town for drill, Ceana went to YW and I attended another disappointing, discouraging meeting. It was another school district budget meeting. It was a very long, drawn out meeting with much left to still be resolved. Unfortunately there was a minority vote to keep the committee in place to resolve major issues and the current budget plan for only $5.7 million dollars was approved. On top of the current/planned cuts of programs (all academics, all elementary PE and music) and staff the board is also going to recommend that there be 10+ days cut off of next school year. We found out that we are already behind the national average, and the cut days will not only put us a full month+ behind that current number, it will also result in the loss of accredidation of our high school.
They also "voted" to extend our school year by one week. I felt like they completely disregarded the voice of a parent and the whole voice of the community by really putting this in place weeks ago, but never allowed the community imput. It was a "done deal" way before now and their "show" of "public" meeting was awful to say the least. I know this decision by the board has blown all of our family plans since they have now moved both Colton's and Ceana's graduation activities into that extended week.

Wednesday was again filled with extra appts and errands that took me away from home for most of the day. I came home more than exhausted, and the kids are feeling it too.

Today is another day of appts for me. This will have been the 3rd trip to Corvallis in as many days. This appt was an unexpected opportunity to see a new dr I didnt plan to see for another month. I am nervous about the appt, esp considering the special phone call I got from the nurse to ask my feelings about actupuncture - yikes. I am truly hoping that this dr may be the answer I have been looking for and needing for so long. He comes very highly recommended from friends we love and trust, so keep your fingers crossed for me.
Tonight will also be Ceana's school band concert. She is not looking forward to it so much as she worried that the one song the kids do know will still go roughly. With so much time lost because of unexpected breaks (dec ice and Apr flu) they have not had the time to devote to the music they hoped to present. It will be a fun night to support her anyway - and a good close to the year for music. I am sure I will have more info and picts to share about today very soon.

Tomorrow will also be full of adventure. Kiddos are at school, with Caiden getting extra fun this week and next by the whole 3rd grade going to free swim lessons at our local pool. We are hoping to go tomorrow to watch him and get picts. Tomorrow will go out with a bang for just all the big kids. This weekend is the priesthood campout for Preston, Caiden and Colton. The boys are SO excited they can hardly stand it, esp that it will be time with preston for just extra fun. The girls are hosting a "girls' night" since the boys will be gone. The big girls havent had friends over for a really long time, so we thought it would be a fun thing to do. Again, I will have more to share on this soon.

Saturday Preston will have the Starlight Parade in Portland. You know the "Parade of Lights" at Disneyland? Portland does something similar every year. The parade is at night and every float is decked out in ton of lights, plus bands and other fun things. We went once with Preston when the 3 big kids were younger. I am hoping once little Miss gets bigger we can go with him again and enjoy that together.

Well, guess that is all for now. It is just a taste of what our week has been and will be like. I will for sure try to post picts and more comments when we gather them from the next few days.

PERSONAL JOURNAL ENTRY

I promised myself that I wouldnt post anymore about myself or my thoughts/feelings. After my last post I was so blasted by comments that couldnt have misunderstood me more and actually inflicted more wounds on top of existing ones.
If you choose to read this, do it at your own risk. I am not looking for comments, this post is for my own personal journal entry - to get my own thoughts on paper - I seem to be able to do this here when I cant seem to keep a paper journal to save my life....

A recent experience has got my brain going many different directions that all seem to go back to messages and teachings from the scriptures. I am trying to see how they relate to me, where I find myself and my circumstances these days in those words/teachings. I will prob bounce around a bit as my brain in just going in so many directions...

1) A local billboard has weekly thoughts posted on it having to do with scripture teachings. This last week the message board read "God's love doesnt take away trials, it helps you through them" I am not sure where I am on this one when I dont feel loved by anyone, let alone Heavenly Father or the Savior

2) The story of the Savior healing the blind man. All of society claimed the blindness was a punishment for his parents' sin - a) how horrible for them, no matter how true or righteously they lived their lives they were scorned and told they were cursed for a secret sin b) how horrible for this man to live his life shunned and uncared for (besides his parents) because his loss was proclaimed as deserved punishment for his parents' or his own sin....
The story teaches however, that the man's afflictions were given on purpose so that he/his parents could be true witnesses of the Savior, of his great love, mercy and power.
Am I the blind man? A friend would have me think so - that through serving me to bring comfort for my suffering it is allowing her to have a true knowledge of the Savior's love, mercy and power. My affliction is strengthening her.....

3) The stories of the lepers. Those who were inflicted with this devastating disease were isolated, and left to suffer and die horrific deaths. They were shown no mercy, love or understanding. This disease came by no fault of their own and yet no one cared or tried to understand. Those who did try to care, did try to serve, gained great learning experiences of compassion and service. They learned to help more, and judge less. Still where were the afflicted left? Still alone, still in great pain, still dying inside and out.
I often wonder if, being in my current state, that I am not unlike these lepers. So much is still not understood about my condition or the people who suffer like I do. So many other choose to judge and condemn vs to even try to listen or understand. Often I feel shunned and isolated.
What of those who try to serve me? I have been told they are receiving great blessings, great teachings. Even amid such time of joy for them, where does it leave me? Still alone, in the dark, dying inside.

4) I have recently been reading in the Book of Ether. The Jaredite people were blessed above all other nations because of their faith and righteousness. They also became so wicked that all traces of them were wiped from the face of the Earth....
In my reading it tells of all the blessings and joy because they chose good, they chose right. It also tells of all that was lost because they dwindled in unbelief and fell. The scripture says " oh ye wicked, let me show you all that you might have had if only you had been faithful.....your peace would have been as the flowing river and your blessings as endless as the sands of the sea....your sorrow and pain is by your own hand and the consequences of your wickedness and sin"
Along these lines my brain has also been thinking of that thought process that goes something like "you have a trial or affliction more than once because you didnt get it the first time, you didnt learn whatever it was you were supposed to"

So, with both these thoughts put together my brain seems to say 1) I am here again because apparently I STILL havent learned that something I should by now 2) My depths of sorrow and pain is the fact that I am being punished because of my own wickedness.
Have I all along just been using growing up past as just an excuse when the real truth is that I cannot find peace, I am unworthy to receive help or blessings because of all of my own lifetime of wickedness, sin and failure? Is that what I am supposed to learn finally? After everything, it really IS all my fault and always has been? That there is no hope, no future, no blessings, no anything - it is the consequences of my own actions - if this is so, then I must resign myself to the truth that is so apparent. Maybe I finally get it, maybe it has been there all along and I have just fought it, maybe now is the time to just forget and give up.

AND THE FINALISTS ARE.....

I just want to thank all of you who took the time to vote for your favorite photo for the contests I will be trying for. There were some very definate winners! I will be submitting all of the photos next week and we should know by the end of June whether I made it into the winner's circle...

For all of you who voted for the finalists, your name will be put in a drawing for a fun prize - an 8x10 print of your choice. I will do that soon and let you know who the winner is!

Thanx again for your support and encouragement! Wish me luck!

Here are the finalists -

SB CONTEST -

CROWN JEWELS
OAHU SILLOUETTE
FLYING HIGH/SKIES OF FIRE (these are both tied for the 3rd place slot - I am trying hard to decide which to choose since I love them both for lots of reasons...)

FP CONTEST -

AUTUMN TREES
STARSHINE SUNRISE
CHRISTMAS ICE

SERVING OTHERS & HAVING FUN

Ceana & several other students are part of a special leadership team at school. One of their projects this year was to do a new toy drive for kiddos at Shriners Children' Hospital. One of the girls in the group knows Shriners well, as she has had need of their care. She knows first hand about the joy and help the toy give each year to all of the children young and not so young.

The girls got an extra special treat when it was arranged by this young lady's mom to take this wonderful group of girls to deliver the toys to the hospital personally. She also treated them to playtime at the zoo and ice cream and other snacks during their travels.
The girls had a really great day together - playing and serving others - what a great way to spend their time!

Melissa, Ceana, Tori, Ana, Katherine

Ceana & Ana (these girls have been best friends since they were FIVE!)

Delivering the toys to Shriners

Ceana took this pict from the hospital rooftop playground - a pretty amazing place for the kids to have time to be kids - and to take great picts

Ceana took TONS of awesome picts at the zoo - but this is the one she told me she was most proud of - she has a pretty good eye too!

SUPER HERO BOYS

Now that both the little boys have Superman PJ's Colton insisted that they have their picts taken together. We needed to burn off some extra boy energy so I took them out front and took picts while they did their thing - pretty funny.....

SUPER KY
SUPER COLTON (doing his "Popeye" arms)

SUPER HERO GQ POSE

SUPER CAPES

LOOK MOM AN AIRPLANE! HEY, I CAN FLY THAT HIGH TOO - WATCH ME, MOM!

SUPER TIRED

OK, so what is a super hero to do when he is extra tired and just cant find a comfy place to sleep in his own room? Apparently the answer is come downstairs and perch himself on the arm of the couch - yeah, that's WAY more comfy.....

SUPER KY

A friend gave Ky Superman PJ's for his birthday. He has LOVED having them and wears them every chance he gets. He told me he needed his picture taken in his PJ's - and of course, because he is so stinking cute, I obliged him.....

PHOTOGRAPHY CONTEST - FP 2

OK, so I am stepping outside my comfort zones and I am going to try to move forward with my fine art photography by entering a couple of local contests. I would appreciate so much if you would take the time to vote for your favorites. I can submit 3 entries to the contest. If one of your picks makes it to the 3 submitted you will get your name in a drawing for a fun prize. If the pict you choose makes it to the finalist or maybe wins you will win a FREE portrait setting or Fine Art Print of your choice. I am nervous and excited about this adventure and would appreciate any help you can give. Feel free to pass this along to anyone who knows our family so they can vote too. I have to have final prints submitted by next Friday (may 30th) so please submit your votes for both contests by Tues, May 26. Thanx TONS - wish me luck!

MAGNOLIA SILLOUETTE
DEWDROP STEM

AUTUMN TREES

WINTER ROSE

CROWN JEWELS

PHOTOGRAPHY CONTEST - FP 1

STARSHINE SUNRISE
SPRING MAGNOLIA

RED LEAF DEWDROP

CHRISTMAS ICE

AUTUMN GATE