We have had so much happen in the last week I thought I would just include all of our updates in one post rather than separate ones.
1) CERT - we didnt get picked for the coordinator position. My only thought is that I flubbed something big time - or they picked someone that probably has minimal to no outside responsibilities and has tons of time to take on this very time consuming, challenging position. Even though we didnt get chosen, we both feel that must be for the best and we will just move on to other things now. We did our best and that was what we could do.
2) Urology Specialist Appt - I went in to see my new doctor last week. I was a bit nervous as I had been told the dr was not the nicest person in the world to work with. I was more hopeful when a cute, bubbly nurse came and got me and did all my pre-appt stuff. I was even more hopeful when a very friendly PA came in and said she would be helping with my appt and anything in the future. She asked very good questions and really listened to what I said. She was floored when I showed her my stones - thinking my regular doctor would have done something with them (not). She took them for analysis to see if they confirmed same consistency of previous stones. When the doctor finally came in we talked for all of 2 minutes. I would say that she has a "conservative" personality - not so talkative, but what she did say she made good points and got across what they were willing to do for me. She was very surprised/concerned that knowing the contents of previous stones that I had not been put on stone preventing meds way before now. She prescibed starting over completely with new tests (all the yucky stuff again). She was not willing to jump right to the conclusion of surgery right away either, which surprised me. She wants a whole pict from all the lab stuff first and then we will discuss my options at my next appt in a couple of weeks.
I had a rough day before the appt and hadnt eaten much of anything before going - not knowing that part of my appt would be a blood draw. I was a bit freaked while waiting in the lab. I have only EVER had one lab tech who could get me on a first try without making me a pin cushion or black and blue from the needles. I warned the lab tech how difficult I usually am and I am sure my nerves didnt help or the fact that it was as cold as a meat locker in the lab area (I was so cold I was shaking/teeth chattering). The lab tech finally came to get me for my turn. He pulled out all the tricks - extra hot washcloths, peds butterfly needle and a ball to squeeze. I also lay back in the chair with my feet braced on the floor since I was already not feeling well. Better to brace up than fall out of the chair completely. I was pleasantly surprised that the tech actually got me in the first try (which I was thankful for when I heard the other tech miss several times on another patient - glad I didnt get her - ouch). Even though my tech got me on a first try he said it was really good that he didnt need to take more than the little bit he got - I am a slow bleeder too and he said he would have had to poke me again if he had different tests to run....thank goodness for me. I must have looked pretty pale and been a concern because the lab tech got me finished up and then went and got me some juice and told me to stay put. I slowly drank the juice and the tech made sure I was sturdy before he let me go. I was glad to get out of there - but nice to know that with all the new doctors that I can request another lab tech in the new lab.
I have a couple more labs to do and we are pretty much in holding pattern again until my next appt.
3) Kids' Doctor Appts - Kels, Colton and Ceana all had well child check ups this week. We love our peds office doctor and staff and they always do a great job with the kids. We were surprised to find that Kels only weighs 21 pounds - she is such a chunker everyone groans when they pick her up (and compares that Ky is way easier to pick up/carry even though he is older). We did find out that she is 29" long though - which would explain why she is wearing 18 month clothes for only being 9 months. Our doctor was thrilled with all the stuff she is doing and wasnt really surprised knowing she is in a house with so many older siblings. He was amazed at all the things she is eating, and didnt seem concerned at all that she is eating foods that have been 1 year+ foods. She didnt have to get any immunizations this time - but will get all the big ones at her 1 year appt. Our doctor warned us before hand and told us to be sure not to bring her in on her actual birthday since those shots will prob make her very sad. Not fun to look forward to - but so important. At least we know before so we can be ready.
Colton had a pretty good check up and only had a couple of concerns we will keep an eye on. His ruptured eardrums are healing which is good. He really struggled with the fine motor skills exercises though - which is consistent with what his teacher is seeing in class. We discussed his options and our doctor made it very clear he would help us get extra help for colton if he cant get it at school. His specialists at school were all ready to cut him loose in November which I convinced them was not a good idea because of fine motor stuff. Our doctor completely agreed and was even willing to write a letter to the school or help us get private help for colton if needed. It was interesting to me as I watch colton try to do the exercises our doctor uses for testing (standing on tip toes, squatting down, walking on his heels) - these are all things I thought were large motor - come to find out these are all fine motor skills - using tiny muscles in the feet/legs - which is why colton couldnt do them well or at all. I learned something new - even after all the stuff we have been through with colton. Our doctor suggested several things to help colton - some of which included things we are already doing - letting him cut, color, do puzzles, etc to try to strengthen his muscles. He also recommended getting some mini bathroom cups and have colton stack them in a tower multiple times in a row and also as fast as he can - watching him for muscle fatigue and to help him build more endurance. He also said baking is a great way to strenthen muscles - kneading bread dough or cutting out cookies with a cookie cutter can really help. Guess that will give me extra incentive to get some homemade bread and cookies made soon and on a more frequent basis.
Colton's big excitement from the appt was to tell everyone, several times, that he was SIX! He was also very impressed with himself for being able to give a potty sample and was not at all shy about telling all the nurses and our doctor that he "peed in a cup". I think he thought that was a very unusual request - which I guess it is - but was very proud of himself.
Ceana's check up also went well. She is very tall for her age and was told she is still growing! She also got perfect results for eye/hearing. Our doctor teased her that he was jealous she is so perfect in all these areas. She & our doctor also talked a bit about emotional stability and challenges of being a teenager. Our doctor is so kind and he does a great job with all of my kiddos, no matter what age they are. She left feeling like the appt went well (she goes by herself without me now) and that she was comfortable with our doctor/nurse.
Overall the kids' appts went really well and we wont have any more dr appts until May.
4) Allergy Specialist Appt - I was a bit nervous going into this appt too - with the way my body reacts to things I wasnt sure what they would/could do for me to test things. I pretty much stumped the nurse and doctor in that office too. The only thing I came away with from a very long, 2 hour appt, was results of all the things I am NOT allergic too - and that my fingers are not allergy related at all and all my sensitivities to pain meds/anesthetics was just something that we were going to have to still try to figure out on our own. The only thing I reacted to from the skin tests were my pollen/grass seed allergies - things we already knew. I was given an allergy med prescription and pretty much sent on my way. I feel like it wasnt the best use of my time (and Kaeli got rewarded BIG time for caring for Kels that whole time) and it didnt resolve any of the ??? we were hoping to get answered. So we really are still in the same place we were before the appt - which is nowhere closer to trying to get health things resolved.
I think this should update all of our info for now. I will be sure to post more after the next set of appts and should know by then whether I will be scheduled for surgery or not. For now, we are just waiting around again, trying to be patient.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
We're Awesome (according to Rory)
by Preston ...
Those of you who know us at all (which would be everyone reading this blog) probably understand that our life is a little bit crazy. Sometimes. Between work, home, schools, 6 kids, musicals, doctor appointments, two dogs, school musicals, church callings, military, 8 fish (one died this week), doing dishes and laundry we somehow decided we didn't already have enough to do. So to help fill that gap and keep ourselves from just being lazy log-bumps, we jointly applied for a new Polk County Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) Coordinator position. This is a grant-funded position to hire a part-time coordinator for all county-wide activities, training, paperwork, etc. Currently one of our police officers does all the coordinating, and he's been getting heat from his supervisor because of all the time he's spent on it. Thus they requested and obtained a grant to hire someone.
When the position was first announced we weren't so sure whether to go for it. I certainly don't have 25 hours a week to devote to it, and we weren't sure Rory really had that much time either. I couldn't really spend a bunch of time making phone calls or filing paperwork during the day and am not much of a public instructor. Rory wasn't comfortable with the computer-based requirements (Word / Excel / Powerpoint) and dreaded the grant-writing, reports and financial tracking. Then we finally realized we SHARED all the skills they were looking for! We got permission to apply for this position as a TEAM. Letters were written, resumes created, and the application went in.
Thursday morning was the live interview. We were told to prepare a 30-minute training course as if we were teaching one of the CERT classes. Neither Rory or I have been officially trained as trainers, but I was able to find the teacher materials and Powerpoint slides online. Rory picked the "Home and Work Preparedness" topic, and part of that unit happened to be "Structural and Non-Structural Hazards." A few tweaks to the slides, a bit of humor added, some re-arranging of the materials and we were ready. Rory grabbed a bunch of our emergency prep supplies and we headed out the door. Good thing we planned ahead and left 30 minutes early ...
... we got to the Fire Station and found the doors locked. I checked in with the receptionist, who was about to walk me through the building when she decided to check with the local Fire Marshal. Turns out he was on the interview board, and was expecting the interview to be held at the CITY HALL. OK so showing up in the wrong location maybe wasn't the best first impression. But hey - we live in a small town, so it only took about three minutes to change venues.
We finally found the conference room and verified we were in the right place. Nothing was set up for the presentation, so I rummaged through the cabinets and found a projector, cables and screen. While I was setting up the electronic media Rory was laying out her display of emergency prep supplies. Just as we were finishing up the panel arrived. It was a much BETTER impression, as two of the panelists mentioned they were impressed even before we started the show.
I gave the brief Powerpoint presentation, and Rory followed up with some great info on family & home preparedness. I talked about my experience in structural engineering and some of the specific hazards in our area. Rory talked about our family values, resources available to us (she plugged my mom's work in emergency preparedness - complete with the resources she sent from her stake), talked about ways to even help small children get involved. I offered suggestions for homeowners to make inexpensive modifications to their home appliances and furniture. Rory told how all our neighbors think we're from Mars because we have hundreds of gallons of water stored in our yard.
Next the panelists had some prepared questions for us. I don't remember too many of them (Rory can chime in) but it always seemed to come back to how important it was to us for our family to be prepared, and the importance of helping share that message with others in the community. Asked why WE should be hired, we talked about our shared skills and Rory gushed about how well we work as a team. I came away from that interview feeling very impressed with us, based on how highly Rory spoke about us. :+)
In a word, Rory was AWESOME.
So now we'll wait to see what they decide. Part of us is excited to maybe have this opportunity, adventure, and a few extra bucks in the bank. Another part wouldn't be TOO disappointed if the position is offered to someone else, as we really do have a lot going on. But either way this was a good experience for us. And we still look forward to being involved in the CERT and other community programs to improve our neighborhood.
Those of you who know us at all (which would be everyone reading this blog) probably understand that our life is a little bit crazy. Sometimes. Between work, home, schools, 6 kids, musicals, doctor appointments, two dogs, school musicals, church callings, military, 8 fish (one died this week), doing dishes and laundry we somehow decided we didn't already have enough to do. So to help fill that gap and keep ourselves from just being lazy log-bumps, we jointly applied for a new Polk County Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) Coordinator position. This is a grant-funded position to hire a part-time coordinator for all county-wide activities, training, paperwork, etc. Currently one of our police officers does all the coordinating, and he's been getting heat from his supervisor because of all the time he's spent on it. Thus they requested and obtained a grant to hire someone.
When the position was first announced we weren't so sure whether to go for it. I certainly don't have 25 hours a week to devote to it, and we weren't sure Rory really had that much time either. I couldn't really spend a bunch of time making phone calls or filing paperwork during the day and am not much of a public instructor. Rory wasn't comfortable with the computer-based requirements (Word / Excel / Powerpoint) and dreaded the grant-writing, reports and financial tracking. Then we finally realized we SHARED all the skills they were looking for! We got permission to apply for this position as a TEAM. Letters were written, resumes created, and the application went in.
Thursday morning was the live interview. We were told to prepare a 30-minute training course as if we were teaching one of the CERT classes. Neither Rory or I have been officially trained as trainers, but I was able to find the teacher materials and Powerpoint slides online. Rory picked the "Home and Work Preparedness" topic, and part of that unit happened to be "Structural and Non-Structural Hazards." A few tweaks to the slides, a bit of humor added, some re-arranging of the materials and we were ready. Rory grabbed a bunch of our emergency prep supplies and we headed out the door. Good thing we planned ahead and left 30 minutes early ...
... we got to the Fire Station and found the doors locked. I checked in with the receptionist, who was about to walk me through the building when she decided to check with the local Fire Marshal. Turns out he was on the interview board, and was expecting the interview to be held at the CITY HALL. OK so showing up in the wrong location maybe wasn't the best first impression. But hey - we live in a small town, so it only took about three minutes to change venues.
We finally found the conference room and verified we were in the right place. Nothing was set up for the presentation, so I rummaged through the cabinets and found a projector, cables and screen. While I was setting up the electronic media Rory was laying out her display of emergency prep supplies. Just as we were finishing up the panel arrived. It was a much BETTER impression, as two of the panelists mentioned they were impressed even before we started the show.
I gave the brief Powerpoint presentation, and Rory followed up with some great info on family & home preparedness. I talked about my experience in structural engineering and some of the specific hazards in our area. Rory talked about our family values, resources available to us (she plugged my mom's work in emergency preparedness - complete with the resources she sent from her stake), talked about ways to even help small children get involved. I offered suggestions for homeowners to make inexpensive modifications to their home appliances and furniture. Rory told how all our neighbors think we're from Mars because we have hundreds of gallons of water stored in our yard.
Next the panelists had some prepared questions for us. I don't remember too many of them (Rory can chime in) but it always seemed to come back to how important it was to us for our family to be prepared, and the importance of helping share that message with others in the community. Asked why WE should be hired, we talked about our shared skills and Rory gushed about how well we work as a team. I came away from that interview feeling very impressed with us, based on how highly Rory spoke about us. :+)
In a word, Rory was AWESOME.
So now we'll wait to see what they decide. Part of us is excited to maybe have this opportunity, adventure, and a few extra bucks in the bank. Another part wouldn't be TOO disappointed if the position is offered to someone else, as we really do have a lot going on. But either way this was a good experience for us. And we still look forward to being involved in the CERT and other community programs to improve our neighborhood.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
BUILDING CHARACTER
After all the challenges this week I have felt like Heavenly Father is throwing so much at me that he is expecting me to gain a lifetime of character in just one week!
My recent posts have just covered one area of the challenges I have been personally battling with. As I have struggled, my heart has also been with other family members who are also struggling just as much, or more, than I am.
I found out at this week that at least 3 of my 5 sis-in-laws are experiencing severe health concerns as well. One other sis-in-law has been in challenge mode for some time, and my other, although I am not aware at this time of anything personal, her husband has been struggling through the not so fun process of a nasty broken foot.
They have all been in my thoughts and prayers - as that is all I can extend to them at this moment....it is frustrating to me to be in a point where I cant even give love or calls or help to those I love most because we are also in the middle of so many challenges....
It has also been frustrating to not be able to give back anything more than my verbal thanx (which is so miniscule) for the kindness, love, friendship and hours of service that have been poured out upon me and our family in this last week, and in recent weeks.
It seems at times that we go along so peacefully, feeling like we are really accomplishing things, feeling like we are making good progress - and then SLAM! we get one thing after another, that any one thing alone would be more than could be handled, and yet multiple things are piled on all at once.
As I was laying in bed tonight, again not sleeping, my mind went to the prophet Joseph and when he was at a breaking point too. He and other bretheren had been taken by force, accused falsely (again) and thrown into prison. They were treated harshly by wicked men who couldnt care less if the men died. They were cold, wet, sick, starving. Joseph's prayer went to Heavenly Father - just as the Savior did - "Why hast thou forsaken me?" The reply he received was that he was not left alone, and that even these (horrible) things would be for Joseph's good, that they were but a small moment in the expanse of eternity, and that if Joseph endured it well that he would inheirit the kingdom of heaven.
It is a very moving, very emotional story from Joseph's life and in church history. It also has a very strong message - we are never left alone. We are surrounded by angels (mortal or immortal) and Heavenly Father knows about every minute of our strugles. Also "keep on, keeping on", "continue to fight the good fight", and "this too shall pass" and that these things are for the greater good of building strong, valiant men and women of the kingdom.
This message of comfort and promise came with an IF though, our part of the "deal"- IF you endure it well. I have a friend right now who is rocking in this enduring - she has found the "ah hah" of this message - and many others in the scriptures - she is taking on challenges and winning - she is choosing to keep the eternal goals in perspective and applying to the simple things of her life like family, everyday family stress, and exercise and eating...she is amazing anyway - but seeing her growth and joy has made me admire her all the more for the example she is to me and so many others around her.
Then there is me. I feel like in the same amount of time that my friend has been achieving, choosing to win, moving forward with leaps and bounds - that I have been everything that is the exact opposite. I have given in to sorrow and pain and emotional eating. I have been grouchy at best and nasty at worst. I am not enduring things well and that IF hangs over my head every day...I feel like I am only in survival mode and usually moving backwards instead of forwards. I feel like I am fighting and enduring all the wrong things and with the wrong attitude. My recent posts, for the most part, have reflected all of these things. I am sure anyone who has been reading has long given up since all I do is fuss whine all the time. I would give up on me too....
I keep telling myself that it is the weather - that what I am experiencing is a physical change that changes everything else around me - something that takes away the light and any will to fight and endure. Am I just making excuses? Am I just making things up? I definately did not make up the kidney stone thing - but I have not chosen to have a good attitude - I have chosen to get mad and I have shown exceptionally bad manners. What about the seasonal thing - it is also physical - how do I endure when my brain is overflowing with so much negative and barely surviving that I cant escape outside of my own little world of pain and grief and struggle -
And yet I do - every day - I change 10 diapers in one day, I dress and feed little ones every day, I make my son a 3rd PB&J for lunch, I take time to take picts of my 9month old's hilarious expressions. I am reading my scriptures, no matter that it may be one or two verses or a whole chapter, I am having scriptures and prayers with whoever happens to be home for night routine (which recently has just been me and the little boys)I am fighting with doctors to try to manage my health, I am fighting with the school district (again) for the betterment of our kids and teachers. I am just getting out of bed every day, and even some days getting dressed. I am trying to follow through on photography committments that help and serve others, I am finding joy and fulfillment in the often mundane and little things that no one else notices (making choc milk for little people who drink it like it is going out of style)I am finding joy in getting behind the camera to capture special, once in a lifetime moments, for others with the purpose not to make zillions of dollars, but to bring others joy from sharing that experience.
So - are these little things "enduring" even through the grumbling and the crying and the pain? Will it be enough to be an heir to eternity? Personally, I still cant believe it is, my brain and heart have still not healed enough to allow me that hope. I know so many others could talk until they were blue in the face trying to convince me - but I do not have the capacity to believe it. Yet some little part of me must believe it because I "keep on, keeping on" and one day after another has gone by and I have made it through - even if it has only been surviving one minute at a time. My brain cannot let go of the wrongs of the past, or present, and it taints any hope for the future. But I keep going, even if it is just to try and hope that what I do today in those "small and simple things" will be enough to help the kids be strong and safe in these tumultuous times. For that reason alone, I move forward, even if it is at a snail's pace.
Here's to enduring.
My recent posts have just covered one area of the challenges I have been personally battling with. As I have struggled, my heart has also been with other family members who are also struggling just as much, or more, than I am.
I found out at this week that at least 3 of my 5 sis-in-laws are experiencing severe health concerns as well. One other sis-in-law has been in challenge mode for some time, and my other, although I am not aware at this time of anything personal, her husband has been struggling through the not so fun process of a nasty broken foot.
They have all been in my thoughts and prayers - as that is all I can extend to them at this moment....it is frustrating to me to be in a point where I cant even give love or calls or help to those I love most because we are also in the middle of so many challenges....
It has also been frustrating to not be able to give back anything more than my verbal thanx (which is so miniscule) for the kindness, love, friendship and hours of service that have been poured out upon me and our family in this last week, and in recent weeks.
It seems at times that we go along so peacefully, feeling like we are really accomplishing things, feeling like we are making good progress - and then SLAM! we get one thing after another, that any one thing alone would be more than could be handled, and yet multiple things are piled on all at once.
As I was laying in bed tonight, again not sleeping, my mind went to the prophet Joseph and when he was at a breaking point too. He and other bretheren had been taken by force, accused falsely (again) and thrown into prison. They were treated harshly by wicked men who couldnt care less if the men died. They were cold, wet, sick, starving. Joseph's prayer went to Heavenly Father - just as the Savior did - "Why hast thou forsaken me?" The reply he received was that he was not left alone, and that even these (horrible) things would be for Joseph's good, that they were but a small moment in the expanse of eternity, and that if Joseph endured it well that he would inheirit the kingdom of heaven.
It is a very moving, very emotional story from Joseph's life and in church history. It also has a very strong message - we are never left alone. We are surrounded by angels (mortal or immortal) and Heavenly Father knows about every minute of our strugles. Also "keep on, keeping on", "continue to fight the good fight", and "this too shall pass" and that these things are for the greater good of building strong, valiant men and women of the kingdom.
This message of comfort and promise came with an IF though, our part of the "deal"- IF you endure it well. I have a friend right now who is rocking in this enduring - she has found the "ah hah" of this message - and many others in the scriptures - she is taking on challenges and winning - she is choosing to keep the eternal goals in perspective and applying to the simple things of her life like family, everyday family stress, and exercise and eating...she is amazing anyway - but seeing her growth and joy has made me admire her all the more for the example she is to me and so many others around her.
Then there is me. I feel like in the same amount of time that my friend has been achieving, choosing to win, moving forward with leaps and bounds - that I have been everything that is the exact opposite. I have given in to sorrow and pain and emotional eating. I have been grouchy at best and nasty at worst. I am not enduring things well and that IF hangs over my head every day...I feel like I am only in survival mode and usually moving backwards instead of forwards. I feel like I am fighting and enduring all the wrong things and with the wrong attitude. My recent posts, for the most part, have reflected all of these things. I am sure anyone who has been reading has long given up since all I do is fuss whine all the time. I would give up on me too....
I keep telling myself that it is the weather - that what I am experiencing is a physical change that changes everything else around me - something that takes away the light and any will to fight and endure. Am I just making excuses? Am I just making things up? I definately did not make up the kidney stone thing - but I have not chosen to have a good attitude - I have chosen to get mad and I have shown exceptionally bad manners. What about the seasonal thing - it is also physical - how do I endure when my brain is overflowing with so much negative and barely surviving that I cant escape outside of my own little world of pain and grief and struggle -
And yet I do - every day - I change 10 diapers in one day, I dress and feed little ones every day, I make my son a 3rd PB&J for lunch, I take time to take picts of my 9month old's hilarious expressions. I am reading my scriptures, no matter that it may be one or two verses or a whole chapter, I am having scriptures and prayers with whoever happens to be home for night routine (which recently has just been me and the little boys)I am fighting with doctors to try to manage my health, I am fighting with the school district (again) for the betterment of our kids and teachers. I am just getting out of bed every day, and even some days getting dressed. I am trying to follow through on photography committments that help and serve others, I am finding joy and fulfillment in the often mundane and little things that no one else notices (making choc milk for little people who drink it like it is going out of style)I am finding joy in getting behind the camera to capture special, once in a lifetime moments, for others with the purpose not to make zillions of dollars, but to bring others joy from sharing that experience.
So - are these little things "enduring" even through the grumbling and the crying and the pain? Will it be enough to be an heir to eternity? Personally, I still cant believe it is, my brain and heart have still not healed enough to allow me that hope. I know so many others could talk until they were blue in the face trying to convince me - but I do not have the capacity to believe it. Yet some little part of me must believe it because I "keep on, keeping on" and one day after another has gone by and I have made it through - even if it has only been surviving one minute at a time. My brain cannot let go of the wrongs of the past, or present, and it taints any hope for the future. But I keep going, even if it is just to try and hope that what I do today in those "small and simple things" will be enough to help the kids be strong and safe in these tumultuous times. For that reason alone, I move forward, even if it is at a snail's pace.
Here's to enduring.
Friday, February 6, 2009
SAD GIRL
I just had to post this picture - she was so sad, but I couldnt stand it and had to go and get the camera. It took her 3+ weeks to learn how to crawl - it has taken 1 week for her to learn how to pull herself up on everything and cruise the furniture. The downside is that she hasnt yet learned how to get herself down from this position. I heard her screaming from her room and thought that she was hurt somehow -she thought she was hurt - but she had just gotten herself stuck. This was the first time she had figured out how to pull herself up in her crib. Since this pict she has no qualms about getting up - but has very big issues about getting down. She is a pretty good screamer too - it sounds like she has injured herself somehow and sends me charging up the stairs to check on her. That could get interesting as she gets older...:)
Anyway - thought everyone would like to see her cuteness. It is hard to believe she will be 9 months next week - cant wait to do her photo shoot - just hope the outfits I have ready will still fit her by then. Will try to post more soon. TTFN
STUPID ROCKS II
Well, I thought I would go ahead and give everyone an update to what we found out this week. I went to my dr office on Wed - after having been told almost a week ago that there was no emergency so I would just be seen whenever.....I passed the stones Tues...
When I got to the Dr office our current doctor was pretty much clueless about what to do with me. She listened and took lots of notes - that was it. I told her about the meds I have been alternating - ibuprofen and pain meds - and all she had to say was "you prob shouldnt do that for more than a couple of days" - I HAVE been doing that for an entire week - what were my options for continuing to treat the pain and throbbing? Her answer - increase both meds by another dosage - what? We went out to the nurse and tried to schedule a CT scan - but that also went badly. Thankfully the hospital had an opening yesterday evening to fit me in.
I had a spiral CT scan done. The technician was quite a crack up - he was VERY personable and really easy to work with. He asked tons of specific questions and really listened when I answered them. The CT was easy and I was surprised when the technician led me back to the tech room and actually showed me my scan - normally the techs are not allowed to say anything and you are hustled out pretty quickly.
I was more than shocked to see multiple stones of multiple sizes in BOTH kidneys. Lovely.
I finally talked to my dr. late today - after multiple phone calls(1st one made at 830am), rude receptionists, and preston putting us on a conference call together with the doctor. We were both pretty fed up with how things have gone. Even on the phone call our dr acted as if she was barely reading the report as she was talking to us. She seemed "ho hum" about the number and sizes of the stones (oh, 2mm, that would prob hurt) DUH - been there done that the last week - and yes, by the way, it DID hurt. The report also said that I have a 9.3mm stone in the left kidney - that is a big YIKES and reason enough for a serious discussion about needing a specialist ASAP. All she could do was say - well, yes,this prob means you should see a specialist - Preston had already CALLED to find a new specialist - and point blank told our dr that she needed to send a referral over TODAY to the new office so we could try to get in. The whole thing was just ridiculous. After that phone call and after multiple experiences like this in recent months for both of us we have decided we are going to find a NEW family practitioner for both of us. I made that phone call tonight too.
So, at this point we are waiting - again. Both of us are very frustrated that things have just dragged and no one is taking me seriously about the immediate concern of having more stones get stuck while everyone else is twiddling around. Preston verbally expressed his concern and worry for me while we were on the phone - he is usually pretty calm about everything - so watching me go through this all week has really thrown him. (Sorry sweetie for making you so worried.) I told him he is my conquering hero for lots of things he has done this week - battling for me on the phone is just one more reason why I love him and that he is my hero.
BTW - if any of you have never seen a stone - I did keep the ones I passed - they are ugly little things - and my pict isnt very good - but thought you might like to see - The pain these 2 stupid things caused is beyond description - I shudder to think if we have something happen with that bigger stone while we are in holding pattern....
When I got to the Dr office our current doctor was pretty much clueless about what to do with me. She listened and took lots of notes - that was it. I told her about the meds I have been alternating - ibuprofen and pain meds - and all she had to say was "you prob shouldnt do that for more than a couple of days" - I HAVE been doing that for an entire week - what were my options for continuing to treat the pain and throbbing? Her answer - increase both meds by another dosage - what? We went out to the nurse and tried to schedule a CT scan - but that also went badly. Thankfully the hospital had an opening yesterday evening to fit me in.
I had a spiral CT scan done. The technician was quite a crack up - he was VERY personable and really easy to work with. He asked tons of specific questions and really listened when I answered them. The CT was easy and I was surprised when the technician led me back to the tech room and actually showed me my scan - normally the techs are not allowed to say anything and you are hustled out pretty quickly.
I was more than shocked to see multiple stones of multiple sizes in BOTH kidneys. Lovely.
I finally talked to my dr. late today - after multiple phone calls(1st one made at 830am), rude receptionists, and preston putting us on a conference call together with the doctor. We were both pretty fed up with how things have gone. Even on the phone call our dr acted as if she was barely reading the report as she was talking to us. She seemed "ho hum" about the number and sizes of the stones (oh, 2mm, that would prob hurt) DUH - been there done that the last week - and yes, by the way, it DID hurt. The report also said that I have a 9.3mm stone in the left kidney - that is a big YIKES and reason enough for a serious discussion about needing a specialist ASAP. All she could do was say - well, yes,this prob means you should see a specialist - Preston had already CALLED to find a new specialist - and point blank told our dr that she needed to send a referral over TODAY to the new office so we could try to get in. The whole thing was just ridiculous. After that phone call and after multiple experiences like this in recent months for both of us we have decided we are going to find a NEW family practitioner for both of us. I made that phone call tonight too.
So, at this point we are waiting - again. Both of us are very frustrated that things have just dragged and no one is taking me seriously about the immediate concern of having more stones get stuck while everyone else is twiddling around. Preston verbally expressed his concern and worry for me while we were on the phone - he is usually pretty calm about everything - so watching me go through this all week has really thrown him. (Sorry sweetie for making you so worried.) I told him he is my conquering hero for lots of things he has done this week - battling for me on the phone is just one more reason why I love him and that he is my hero.
BTW - if any of you have never seen a stone - I did keep the ones I passed - they are ugly little things - and my pict isnt very good - but thought you might like to see - The pain these 2 stupid things caused is beyond description - I shudder to think if we have something happen with that bigger stone while we are in holding pattern....
Sunday, February 1, 2009
STUPID ROCKS....
I have had several inquiries as to my health concerning my kidney stones so I thought I would throw a short post up.
I wish I could say that I was right a few days ago that I had passed the stone - unfortunately, after 3 more days of severe attacks, and heavy meds the dumb thing is still in there.
I am having a feeling that this stone may be bigger than usual and it just keeps getting stuck vs moving anywhere. Hence the horrible bouts of pain and then relief for several hours.
I will be calling my doctor in the morning to see if we can at least schedule x-rays. I will also be asking her about other meds options. It seems I have developed 2 more sensitivities to meds that I have been able to take in the past that are now not working/causing other side effects.
I will also be trying to see if I can find a new specialist as my doctor moved his practice to Salem Hospital instead....
Stupid rocks. It amazes me that we have had so many challenges this last month, esp in the last week. We have our schedule more full than we can handle - all of us needing to be in more than one place at a time and trying to figure out what to get to and how. I dont have time to be dealing with kidney stones and heavy meds...
I will try to get another post up when I find out more from my doctor and see what the next plan will be.
On a side note - watch soon on my photo blog and maybe here too for the CHS Sound of Music picts. I was able to attend a family tech run through last night and got some AMAZING picts. The kids did a really great job and I cant wait to go to full dress rehersals next week. I will only be posting CHS picts for awhile for all the kids. It will be great fun! If you havent gotten your tickets for the play yet, be sure to do so soon - the kids have worked really hard and they did a wonderful job for such a big production! Watch for more to come soon!
I wish I could say that I was right a few days ago that I had passed the stone - unfortunately, after 3 more days of severe attacks, and heavy meds the dumb thing is still in there.
I am having a feeling that this stone may be bigger than usual and it just keeps getting stuck vs moving anywhere. Hence the horrible bouts of pain and then relief for several hours.
I will be calling my doctor in the morning to see if we can at least schedule x-rays. I will also be asking her about other meds options. It seems I have developed 2 more sensitivities to meds that I have been able to take in the past that are now not working/causing other side effects.
I will also be trying to see if I can find a new specialist as my doctor moved his practice to Salem Hospital instead....
Stupid rocks. It amazes me that we have had so many challenges this last month, esp in the last week. We have our schedule more full than we can handle - all of us needing to be in more than one place at a time and trying to figure out what to get to and how. I dont have time to be dealing with kidney stones and heavy meds...
I will try to get another post up when I find out more from my doctor and see what the next plan will be.
On a side note - watch soon on my photo blog and maybe here too for the CHS Sound of Music picts. I was able to attend a family tech run through last night and got some AMAZING picts. The kids did a really great job and I cant wait to go to full dress rehersals next week. I will only be posting CHS picts for awhile for all the kids. It will be great fun! If you havent gotten your tickets for the play yet, be sure to do so soon - the kids have worked really hard and they did a wonderful job for such a big production! Watch for more to come soon!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
KIDNEY STONES ARE A PAIN.....LITERALLY
After a very short night (less than 4 hrs off and on) I got up at 6am with a slight pinching on my right side. I didnt think anything of it, figuring I had slept in a funny position.
By 7am the pain was so piercing that I was severely nauseated and in a heap on the rug, unable to move or think past the pain....Stupid rocks.
Thankfully Preston was still home with us this morning when all this was happening. He was able to hunt down my heavy duty medications and help the little boys get ready for school.
When the meds finally started working enough for me to move I climbed into an extra hot bath to try and relax the muscles and get heat on the worst areas. Preston took the boys to school for me.
I spent most of the day feeling very drugged and spent my time alternating between helping Ky & Kels and laying on the couch.
I think I passed the stone sometime today, though I never saw it. It must have been fairly large, as far as stones go for me, because my back is very sore and feels bruised. I am completely exhausted after trying to get through the pain and meds and caring for little people all day.
Apparently being off city water really was making a difference. Even though I passed stones through the whole pregnancy with Kels, they were small and mostly painless. Today was back to what we have been through all along being on the city water - which is filled with high levels of calcium and phosphates that my body cant tolerate.
I think I had Preston in quite a state again today - esp knowing he couldnt be home at all to help me (he had work, drill, and is giving a presentation at OSU). This morning when he left I was in the same state of mind, not knowing what the day would bring. He has been concerned enough that he spent some of his time today looking into getting commerically bottled water in the house again. (we just discontinued our service trying to re-group all of our finances).
It seems it has made a big enough difference to my health after all. I hate to put that much $ out again, knowing that we are trying to cut out all of our extras to conserve finances, but it really might be the best option vs what we went through today, and having to put even more $ into ER visits and possible surgery again, besides having to find a new doctor.
Stupid rocks....
By 7am the pain was so piercing that I was severely nauseated and in a heap on the rug, unable to move or think past the pain....Stupid rocks.
Thankfully Preston was still home with us this morning when all this was happening. He was able to hunt down my heavy duty medications and help the little boys get ready for school.
When the meds finally started working enough for me to move I climbed into an extra hot bath to try and relax the muscles and get heat on the worst areas. Preston took the boys to school for me.
I spent most of the day feeling very drugged and spent my time alternating between helping Ky & Kels and laying on the couch.
I think I passed the stone sometime today, though I never saw it. It must have been fairly large, as far as stones go for me, because my back is very sore and feels bruised. I am completely exhausted after trying to get through the pain and meds and caring for little people all day.
Apparently being off city water really was making a difference. Even though I passed stones through the whole pregnancy with Kels, they were small and mostly painless. Today was back to what we have been through all along being on the city water - which is filled with high levels of calcium and phosphates that my body cant tolerate.
I think I had Preston in quite a state again today - esp knowing he couldnt be home at all to help me (he had work, drill, and is giving a presentation at OSU). This morning when he left I was in the same state of mind, not knowing what the day would bring. He has been concerned enough that he spent some of his time today looking into getting commerically bottled water in the house again. (we just discontinued our service trying to re-group all of our finances).
It seems it has made a big enough difference to my health after all. I hate to put that much $ out again, knowing that we are trying to cut out all of our extras to conserve finances, but it really might be the best option vs what we went through today, and having to put even more $ into ER visits and possible surgery again, besides having to find a new doctor.
Stupid rocks....
Sunday, January 25, 2009
GUILT & GRATITUDE
Blogging has become one of the joys of my life. It allows me to chat with friends far and near and share things about our lives and families with each other. It has also allowed me the opportunity to keep a journal more easily - something I have always struggled with. This is fair warning to anyone who happens to peruse my posts - Christy, this means you - that this post is my journal entry for today and it will NOT be pretty. Read at your own risk.
Satan is a crafty wretch. He can use guilt as one of his biggest tools to bring us down. He finds great pleasure in finding anyway he can to bring us down. He esp delights, I am sure, when he can nail you right in the middle of church when you are supposed to be feeling uplifted and peaceful. That being said and recognized, it doesnt make it any easier to do something about it - esp when the skies are gray-black, and it is freezing and rainy outside, and my husband has to physically walk in and turn my lightbox on and put meds on my fingers because I am so far gone today I cant do it for myself.....
Everything about today, and the last week, has SCREAMED at me that I am a failure. Getting to church was an ordeal in itself today, and leaving church screamed "dont let the door hit you on the way out, and BTW dont even think about walking through the door again unless you can keep your children under control and quiet as statues"
Guilt has overwhelmed me all week about all the things I am not doing, not been able to do, not looking like I will do anytime soon. These are the things that I am struggling with -
1) Not having time or energy to even make a cake for my daughter's birthday. A good friend made a special cake for her at my request so Ce would at least have a homemade cake
2) I have no energy, time or desire to even think about participating in the family weightloss thing - thereby putting all the extra pressure on preston to do more to try to win back $ we put into the "pot"
3) Sleep pretty much being non-existent, and when I am sleeping I am having horrible nightmares. This is leaving me even more drained to try to take care of home or kiddos
4) Feeling like every time that Preston & the kids walk out the door that they take a piece of me with them, leaving me feeling more anxious, stressed and worn out. By the time the pieces are put back together at night I am beyond mental or emotional strength to put the "puzzle" back together. I know this doesnt make any sense to anyone but me
5) Constantly craving sugar - and not being able to fight the rule of "dont treat the blues with a treat"
6) In caring for my family and home that I dont have the time/energy to attend all the school/community meetings that keep me "in the loop" that effect my family. There is a new universal park being constructed that really needs parent input-and there were no parents attending those meetings except for me. We also found out our district is seriously considering dropping all of the arts/music programs in our district and firing all of those teachers plus some.
Had I been attending school board meetings I would have been aware - again I was usually the only parent attending those meetings as well. The new school parent committe keeps contacting me and all I can tell them is "not right now". All of these things are SO important - and I am already spread so thin, or engulfed in "darkness" that I cannot get to them.
7) I am also worried about how things are going for Preston at work. He has had a project come back that needs some pretty major fixes and he has been spending all of his time working on them and finding more and more wrong. He hasnt even started on the work he went to colorado to pick up, and it may have been passed onto someone else now after all he did. He usually doesnt get bent out of shape about anything, but this project really has him worried - which in turn worries me. There is nothing I can do to help him at all, and that hurts too.
8) I feel like I am an ugly hag. I am not going to even talk about my weight. My eyes have huge dark circles under them because of not sleeping. I look like a walking zombie most of the time. I think that my hair has actually stopped growing -and it breaks off and falls out every time I brush it. No matter what I do with it, it never looks ok. I feel like I never want to go out in public, esp with preston or the kids, because I am afraid that I am a total embarassment to them because of the way I look. It makes me even less likely to even attempt to go out, esp on my bad days (which today has been)
There are so many other things I could write about, but I would be writing forever....
OK, so this started out with all the turmoil in my soul. I had to take a break to attend an extra meeting to represent Activities Committee. In that meeting the main talk was of planning and setting goals for the ward for the coming year. In the end I think the main goal was to help the ward focus on the "small and simple things" to strengthen our families - it seems to be a running theme already and it is only the end of January. We talked about maybe setting 3 goals that we can perfect over the next year - small, simple things, things that can be measured and tracked.
We also talked about keeping our eyes on the positive things, all the things that we are doing well, all the good that is happening.
I am sad that the gal I subbed for is sick, but I guess I was supposed to attend this meeting today to help me put things back into perspective....
I can become completely overwhelmed and pounded by all the things I am not, and cannot do right now. The weather doesnt help those feelings. I can try to remember to do small and simple things - no matter how small or simple - it is still moving in the right direction. Today the "nots" have really got me down, but tomorrow is a new day.
I can try to remember the blessing Preston recently gave me that told me to take things one day, one hour, even one minute at a time to help me get through each day. Today, I am only tracking minutes, maybe later or by tomorrow I might be able to track hours.
I can try to remember that even if all I do is change diapers and wash my hands 100 times in one day that I have cared for my 2 smallest children to keep them safe and comfortable. If I only do 1 load of laundry, the rest will wait. If I can keep all my kiddos in sacrament meeting together, and not have to take someone out or spend the whole of sacrament meeting with someone on time out, that is a great accomplishment, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
I am doing my best to raise my small children. Others are done with that, and are good at doling out advice, or have forgotten what it is like when they get upset over little one's noise. I can try to do the best that I can and need to try hard not to let anyone else's opinions or comments make me feel guilty or horrible. That is hard for me to do - esp on my extra bad days - and those are the days I will need to try to take 1 minute at a time to get through those moments. Other people's comments can and do hurt, even unintentinally, but I need to do my best to not let Satan use them to hurt me. That is hard, I have lived almost my whole life being made to feel guilty about everything and anything, I have been pressured by others to do or be what they want. I have only recently in the last few years learned to stand up for myself and my family. I need to try to remember all the positive things I have done to reach that goal - I have done it in the past and I can do it now, or least I can keep trying to.
Remembering the positive and the good that can be accomplished, even a minute at a time, is moving in the right direction.
Satan is a crafty wretch. He can use guilt as one of his biggest tools to bring us down. He finds great pleasure in finding anyway he can to bring us down. He esp delights, I am sure, when he can nail you right in the middle of church when you are supposed to be feeling uplifted and peaceful. That being said and recognized, it doesnt make it any easier to do something about it - esp when the skies are gray-black, and it is freezing and rainy outside, and my husband has to physically walk in and turn my lightbox on and put meds on my fingers because I am so far gone today I cant do it for myself.....
Everything about today, and the last week, has SCREAMED at me that I am a failure. Getting to church was an ordeal in itself today, and leaving church screamed "dont let the door hit you on the way out, and BTW dont even think about walking through the door again unless you can keep your children under control and quiet as statues"
Guilt has overwhelmed me all week about all the things I am not doing, not been able to do, not looking like I will do anytime soon. These are the things that I am struggling with -
1) Not having time or energy to even make a cake for my daughter's birthday. A good friend made a special cake for her at my request so Ce would at least have a homemade cake
2) I have no energy, time or desire to even think about participating in the family weightloss thing - thereby putting all the extra pressure on preston to do more to try to win back $ we put into the "pot"
3) Sleep pretty much being non-existent, and when I am sleeping I am having horrible nightmares. This is leaving me even more drained to try to take care of home or kiddos
4) Feeling like every time that Preston & the kids walk out the door that they take a piece of me with them, leaving me feeling more anxious, stressed and worn out. By the time the pieces are put back together at night I am beyond mental or emotional strength to put the "puzzle" back together. I know this doesnt make any sense to anyone but me
5) Constantly craving sugar - and not being able to fight the rule of "dont treat the blues with a treat"
6) In caring for my family and home that I dont have the time/energy to attend all the school/community meetings that keep me "in the loop" that effect my family. There is a new universal park being constructed that really needs parent input-and there were no parents attending those meetings except for me. We also found out our district is seriously considering dropping all of the arts/music programs in our district and firing all of those teachers plus some.
Had I been attending school board meetings I would have been aware - again I was usually the only parent attending those meetings as well. The new school parent committe keeps contacting me and all I can tell them is "not right now". All of these things are SO important - and I am already spread so thin, or engulfed in "darkness" that I cannot get to them.
7) I am also worried about how things are going for Preston at work. He has had a project come back that needs some pretty major fixes and he has been spending all of his time working on them and finding more and more wrong. He hasnt even started on the work he went to colorado to pick up, and it may have been passed onto someone else now after all he did. He usually doesnt get bent out of shape about anything, but this project really has him worried - which in turn worries me. There is nothing I can do to help him at all, and that hurts too.
8) I feel like I am an ugly hag. I am not going to even talk about my weight. My eyes have huge dark circles under them because of not sleeping. I look like a walking zombie most of the time. I think that my hair has actually stopped growing -and it breaks off and falls out every time I brush it. No matter what I do with it, it never looks ok. I feel like I never want to go out in public, esp with preston or the kids, because I am afraid that I am a total embarassment to them because of the way I look. It makes me even less likely to even attempt to go out, esp on my bad days (which today has been)
There are so many other things I could write about, but I would be writing forever....
OK, so this started out with all the turmoil in my soul. I had to take a break to attend an extra meeting to represent Activities Committee. In that meeting the main talk was of planning and setting goals for the ward for the coming year. In the end I think the main goal was to help the ward focus on the "small and simple things" to strengthen our families - it seems to be a running theme already and it is only the end of January. We talked about maybe setting 3 goals that we can perfect over the next year - small, simple things, things that can be measured and tracked.
We also talked about keeping our eyes on the positive things, all the things that we are doing well, all the good that is happening.
I am sad that the gal I subbed for is sick, but I guess I was supposed to attend this meeting today to help me put things back into perspective....
I can become completely overwhelmed and pounded by all the things I am not, and cannot do right now. The weather doesnt help those feelings. I can try to remember to do small and simple things - no matter how small or simple - it is still moving in the right direction. Today the "nots" have really got me down, but tomorrow is a new day.
I can try to remember the blessing Preston recently gave me that told me to take things one day, one hour, even one minute at a time to help me get through each day. Today, I am only tracking minutes, maybe later or by tomorrow I might be able to track hours.
I can try to remember that even if all I do is change diapers and wash my hands 100 times in one day that I have cared for my 2 smallest children to keep them safe and comfortable. If I only do 1 load of laundry, the rest will wait. If I can keep all my kiddos in sacrament meeting together, and not have to take someone out or spend the whole of sacrament meeting with someone on time out, that is a great accomplishment, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
I am doing my best to raise my small children. Others are done with that, and are good at doling out advice, or have forgotten what it is like when they get upset over little one's noise. I can try to do the best that I can and need to try hard not to let anyone else's opinions or comments make me feel guilty or horrible. That is hard for me to do - esp on my extra bad days - and those are the days I will need to try to take 1 minute at a time to get through those moments. Other people's comments can and do hurt, even unintentinally, but I need to do my best to not let Satan use them to hurt me. That is hard, I have lived almost my whole life being made to feel guilty about everything and anything, I have been pressured by others to do or be what they want. I have only recently in the last few years learned to stand up for myself and my family. I need to try to remember all the positive things I have done to reach that goal - I have done it in the past and I can do it now, or least I can keep trying to.
Remembering the positive and the good that can be accomplished, even a minute at a time, is moving in the right direction.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Front Page!
I was asked to send a press release to the local paper to advertize upcoming CERT training. Apparently the editor liked my writing style, because he put it on the FRONT PAGE of the paper! :+)
http://www.itemizerobserver.com/DIONews3.shtml
My first news story, and it's on page 1. Sweet!
Preston
http://www.itemizerobserver.com/DIONews3.shtml
My first news story, and it's on page 1. Sweet!
Preston
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
LOTS OF FUN
Read closely...this is how it works...
The Rules:
1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.
2. Winners, you must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!
3. The gift that you send to your Three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!
If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!
The Rules:
1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.
2. Winners, you must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!
3. The gift that you send to your Three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!
If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!
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