The Principle of Gratitude

Yesterday our RS lesson was on this subject. It was a lengthy discussion with quite a bit of input from the sisters (esp considering how few of us were in attendance) One comment that Sis S made while teaching her lesson was that sometimes we have life experiences that just are what they are. They are just there, and nothing that you can do to change them. Her other comment was that sometimes she told Heavenly Father in the midst of those most challenging expereriences that she couldnt/wouldnt do it anymore, that she was done. The lesson centered on how to find a change of heart, and find gratitude for even the tiniest things in the midst of our not-so-bright attitide at times, when we are in the middle of all the "it is what it is." I think we all have similar experiences, and maybe I needed it because of what was going to happen today.

Many people may know that we are challenged with 2 very significant "it is what it is" experiences. One of which has been and is my health. Several weeks ago I was given a recommendation for new primary care physician for myself. I have been through several in the past 10 years, all of which have either helped for a bit, or not at all. I think this time, though, I may have finally found the dr who will be able to really listen and help.

When I first met with him, he asked for a TON of bloodwork to be done - interestingly enough, bloodwork that has NEVER been asked for by previous physicians. My appt today was to go over the results of all that lab work. I was pretty blown away by what he found out, and by what we are going to need to do about what we found out. I am also blown away by the blessings and by the magnitude that my conscious effort of an attitude of gratitude is going to need to be.

Here is what I found out today -

1) In the last three years (maybe longer than that) I have been exposed to, and contracted the Epstein-Barr virus (more commonly known as Mononucliosis), Parvovirus and CMV (both severe viruses that attack the auto-immune system).
2) All 3 of these are closely tied to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome AND FibroMayalsia ( both of which have been brought up in recent dr visits) I now have a conclusive diagnosis for CFS, but not quite FM as my symptoms do not meet all the markers for this disease.
3) Although I no longer have the 3 above mentioned viruses and my body has and is building strong antibodies to them, I can no longer give blood, and my auto-immune system may be at extreme risk in a future event of severe illness or anything that may be considered life threatening (ie need for blood transfusion or chemo, etc)
4) There are ZERO things that drs can do yet to fight any or cure the above mentioned viruses.
4) My B12, Vitamin D, and iron levels are almost non-existent (ie normal reading for iron levels is 60, my reading was a 10). They are extra low because the lab work shows that my body does not absorb these appropriately.
5) Over the next 2-3 months I will be undergoing some pretty extreme measures to try to balance out my numbers in these areas and hope that my body will adapt itself to absorb these at a more normal level. The extra helps will include increasing my vitamin D and B12 levels (by dissolvable tablets and possibly daily injections) and a 6 week intensive iron infusion treament (done at the hospital's dialysis clinic).
6) At the end of all of these treatments/therapies I will have a follow up appt to re-test all these levels and see what the next step in the game plan will be.
7) On a side note, the sleep help that my dr gave me is another no-go, and I will be talking and working directly with my sleep specialist (who works hand-in-hand with my new dr) about a couple more meds to give a try with.

So...where is my attitude of gratitude?
1) I finally have a dr that listens and talks with vs to me about my health concerns
2) My new dr isnt wasting a minute to try to help me find answers and pursue them
3) I finally have real answers to why I have been so ill, and as to why I am still struggling so much
4) There are meds and treatments out there to help me combat the symptoms of the viruses, even though we cant cure the viruses themselves
5) I now have TWO dr specialists who work closely together and they are both drs I really like and feel like they will help me
6) The hope that maybe in a few months, I could be feeling tons better and be back on track to finding better health

So...where am I going to need to work to find gratitude?
1) Taking meds/vitamins/possible injections every day
2) Sitting through an infusion process week after week, when I know how much I struggle with needles/IV's, etc.
3) Being patient, calm, and show outward gratitude to those health care staff who will be helping me through this next piece of things
4) Showing some kind of trust and faith in Heavenly Father, even in just a miniscule form, and hope that it will be enough to help me get through the tears and rough times
5) Knowing that I am going to be given the gift of empathy and understanding for others
6) Allowing others to help as/where needed during the next couple of months as our schedule is again turned upside down because of extra medical appts

It is going to be a long learning process. I am sure there will be many tears, and fears as I again go through a different chunk of this "is what it is". I am hoping that maybe this time, I will do a better job at finding trust and faith and willingness to learn during the process rather than just after it. I hope that I can remember that this whole experience will not only be for my good, but possibly for the learning and good of others. I cant promise I will go through this with Sis B's "bring it on" attitude (that I so love about her), but all I can do is try my best, and hopefully that will be enough. I will try to keep posting often once we get going on things. Watch for new updates in a few weeks.

Photography Fun

Things with photography have been really hopping the last few weeks. I have had several client shoots, and a couple of special projects I was asked to do. My last post was about one of those special projects - a fine art piece that I was commissioned to do. Havent heard yet how it was received, and I will be anxious to find out later this week. I am attaching an image I took of the finished piece. This top image isnt very good, but it does show the finished product. It is B&W all except the lamp post which I did as a minor color enhancement.
This 2nd image is the one the client first asked for - and then decided she didnt like it with the color enhancements. See if you can look at both images and see all of the changes I made...I am not sure which one I like better....

A couple other fun projects that I have done recently was that I was asked to be the photographer for a Tri-Stake Winter Ball and for our stake Live Nativity. Both were a total blast, and I will be working hard to get images edited before the end of the break, along with doing 2 more client shoots coming up this week. It is funny how things seem to come in spurts - I either have little to no work, or I have more work than I know what to do with. The blessing of having all that work right now is that it is going to help me purchase a new computer system. My laptop is in its last death throes. I have had to move all my work to the home computer, which has been challenging since the kids need that computer for school work. It will be good to have a system with all the extra bells & whistles and have my own work space back soon. My laptop may get a once over from Preston's brother and then handed off to Ceana or just as an extra school computer - that end of things is still in the works...

It has been fun, and challenging to use this special gift I have been given in so many different ways. Be sure to watch my FB work page and my website for all of the fun images to be posted soon!

Kaeli's 1st Surgery

I am hoping that sometime during Winter break that I will be able to get blog posts caught up...keep watching for new stuff to arrive - we have done so much in the last month and there is tons to write about...

Before it gets too far out I did want to do a small post about Kaeli's first surgery. She had 4 teeth extracted last weekend. She was put under to hopefully help her get through things better.

We were told it would be about a 2 hr surgery, with up to 2 hrs of recovery. She did so well that she was only under for 30 minutes and we were only there 1 1/2 hrs total. She recovered really well with only minor discomfort. The biggest challenge was having her mouth be completely numb. We had a good laugh together in the car about that on our trip home.

She will go in to see her ortho specialists next month, and hopefully they will have good things to say about getting back on track for her braces.

Success!

My client came today to pick up the fine art piece that I have been working on for the last 2 weeks.

I was really apprehensive as I showed it to her. I was so excited that her reaction was more than positive - I got a "Oh, I love it!" and a "It is freakin' awesome!" - which Kaeli heard all the way upstairs apparently...She was gushing and sincerely thrilled with what I had put together for her. She was so happy I was even offered a bonus on top of our agreed price - can't beat that!

I am so happy that the client is happy, and also hoping that the people that she is giving it to will also be happy. I will look forward to hearing from my client about the big party that is being held and where my work will be given. I am esp anxious to know how it is received, considering the people it is being given to are tentatively upcoming clients for a wedding in the Spring. If they like my work now, then it will be a good sign for taking that on in June.

As soon as I know it has been given I will post the finished piece here.

FINALLY DONE

My very first comissioned fine artwork is DONE. I have to say that I am really glad. It has been much more of an undertaking than I would have imagined. Since it is a gift for someone local, I cant post it until next weekend. I will be sure to do that as soon as I know it has been given. I can share more background and stuff then too.

For now, I am breathing a bit easier, and trying to get more client work edited and out before the end of the week (hopefully).

More to come

What's Really Important

Today when I picked Ky up from preschool, our friend who is his teacher had a very funny story for me.


She had asked all the kids if they had a fun Thanksgiving. All 6 kiddos said "no". She asked if anyone did anything fun, again the answer from the kids was "no". She continued to prompt Ky (knowing where we had been) and asked him directly if there was anything fun about Thanksgiving that he would like to share. His answer: "I got new shoes!" So the truth finally comes out - what is REALLY important to a 4 yr old - not Disneyland or getting kissed on the cheek by Tinkerbell, but his new shoes with running lights on them...

Baxter Family Vacation - Nov 2010 - Travel Home To OR 1

We got the special treat of spending our last day of vacation with our wonderful friends the Seables. We left the hotel at a WAY too early hour so we could make it to church with them. Thankfully they had a later start time (esp after we took a 30 minute "detour" and had to be talked in from Holly :). The streets in Grants Pass are crazy - named totally different things at different places even if you are still on the same road.
The kids all paired up perfectly with the Seable kiddos and went off happily to their classes - even Ky & Kels - which was so wonderful. Ceana & I chatted about how wonderful it is to know the church is the same no matter where you go, and that we were made to feel so very welcome being in a different ward. I think all the kids had a total blast at church being with friends.
After church we went back to the Seables for an awesome lunch. It was fun to watch all the big kids help out in the kitchen together. All the kids got along so well and it is extra fun that we both have kids that are almost exact same ages all the way down the line. Ky & Naomi really hit it off and it was funny to walk to the bedroom to check on them to find Ky playing with dolls and things in Naomi's doll house. That just cracked me up. Caiden & Henry got a big kick out of playing football with each other by throwing the ball to each other OVER the top of the house. We had a wonderful visit and it was fun that Adam and Preston finally got to meet each other.
Ceana & Sabrina made our famous PB Fingers to take to the family fireside. I think they have found a new favorite cookie too :)
After dinner we had been invited to Grandma & Grandpa Seable's house for a family fireside. At first I think the kids felt a bit awkward, there were TONS of cousins. They soon found that there was someone there for each of them to hang out and play with and soon they were all just having a blast.
It was wonderful for me to see Adam's sisters and mom again after spending time with them at TOFW last month. It was great to see their faces as they saw me at church - complete shock and suprise and then happy hugs - they didnt know we were coming, so it was a fun surprise for them. Kirsten's face was the best - she just stared at me, like she couldnt believe I was really standing there and then she laughed out loud and gave me a huge hug - it was so awesome for me to know that I was so loved even after just knowing each other for such a short time!

Kathleen (Grandma Seable) got this darling picture of Bro Seable helping Kels with her shoes when we were getting ready to head home. Just so darn cute of the both of them!
Grandma Seable had planned a special family fireside for the older kids and adults. The little kids got to have a special movie and playtime with Grandpa Seable. It was a sweet lesson about remembering the true reason for Christmas and I think gave us all alot to think about for this month and this special season. The cousins got introduced all around and the older cousins really hit it off with the girls. They had a blast just sitting and talking and getting to know each other. We had a really hard time loading everyone up to head home. In this pict are our girls, Keenan and a couple of the older Jarvis cousins.

We were so blessed to have this special time with the Seable, Jarvis, and Savage families. We were made to feel so welcome and so loved. It really was the best way to end our wonderful vacation! I had to laugh about this pict too. Kathleen took our picts just before we left, and this is the best pict we have had taken of us in the whole 2 weeks of vacation. The best family pict in the last 5 minutes of the last day of our whole vacation...funny...so glad to have it! Thanx again to the wonderful and sweet Seable, Jarvis and Savage families! Love ya all tons!

Baxter Family Vacation - Nov 2010 - Travel Home To OR 2

Kaeli is becoming quite the awesome photographer herself. She got all of these amazing shots while flying down the freeway too. So beautiful!
We both took lots of picts of this peak. if you look really closely at the clouds, it looks like there is smoke coming from the top like a volcano...it really was just the heavy clouds, but it kind of gave you the creeps to think about it being an erupting volcano...

I totally love this image - most would say "oh, it's ruined.." - but to me, it is very creative - esp with the blur in the front and the focus in the back

The views really were breathtaking. We were so blessed to view such beauty and to have safe, dry roads to drive home on.

Baxter Family Vacation - Nov 2010 - Travel Home To OR 3

Just thought this was kind of a cool angle - glad it came out too, considering I was shooting through the windshield...
Castle Crags in Mt Shasta National Park Area

Mt Shasta

I posted this to give the kids another good laugh. This was a result of me sticking my head out of the window at 75 mph to get picts of all the gorgeous scenery rushing by us.

30 Day Challenge - DAY 16

DAY 16 - Post another picture of yourself

Like I posted before, I usually prefer to be BEHIND the camera, vs in front of it. This was our 1st day of vacation. We surprised the kids by stopping for a lunch visit with our ORCA friends. I had been asked to take kiddo picts for one of the families. When we were all done and ready to go in for lunch, Preston stole the camera from me and took these. Normally I really DONT like picts of myself. I was really happy with these. I had fun doing some tweaking too. I really love the way the bottom image turned out with the B&W and color tweaks - one of my fave thing to do with images - was kind of fun to do it with picts of me.