ORCA SPRING CELEBRATION I

Yesterday was our ORCA Spring Celebration. They chose a new place to hold it, it was smaller, but we found out they had the biggest turnout ever! It was so fabulous for the kids to get to meet their teachers and to be with so many other students and their families.
This is Caiden with his teacher. He has been so helpful and supportive of Caiden this year. We are hoping Caiden will have him again next year.
This amazing, funny lady has been Colton's teacher for the last 2 years. She has blessed our lives in so many ways, and she has been an angel for our family, and for Colton. She has become a good friend. We are pretty sure she will be Ky's kindergarten teacher next year. Lucky us we will get to keep her for one more year!

When we first arrived, Preston & Kaeli took the kids out to play and enjoy the small reprieve of dry weather. Kaeli did an awesome job with taking picts, and I cant wait to scrapbook them for the kids' books. Sabrina helped play with the little peeps too. I thought this was a great pict Kaeli got of Sabrina and Ky playing basketball.

This is what our weather looked like about every other 15 minutes. It was either very bright and sunny, or completely torrrential. It was often raining so hard that you could hardly see anything. When the sun came out everyone ran around trying to get to all of the activities. When the rain started, everyone scrambled to find some kind of shelter at the park. The wind picked up at the end and nearly blew away 2 of the booth awnings.

ORCA SPRING CELEBRATION II

This was the boys' favorite activity booth. They got a pretty good go of it before the torrential rain started up again. They made some awesome bubbles and Kaeli did an awesome job to capture them on Preston's camera.
This is Preston with the other members of the ORCAPA group. He has been talking with them and doing conference calls for months. This was the first time that all of them were together. I took picts on 6 different cameras to make sure to document this momentous occasion. The ORCAPA booth was very successful and the group talked to ALOT of parents, teachers, and even the new principal. They also handed out a lot of information that Preston and Anne Marie (in green) had put together to make people aware of the legislative process and where ORCA stands right now, and what bills are concerns at the state level. Preston was praised by so many people. I think it was a very successful day for the group, and a lot of validation for all of Preston's extra hard work. It was awesome to be there to see how happy he was in the work that he has been doing all year.

Part of our reason for being at Spring Celebration was because Sabrina and Kaeli were there to go through 8th grade graduation ceremony. It was so different from B&M schools. Personal, fun, cozy. It was very enjoyable for all who attended. I think there were maybe 2 dozen kids in the group. It is great being part of a small school family.

The theme for Spring Celebration was "Myth Busters" - this is one of the teachers who looks exactly like one of the hosts of the real show. Everyone was taking advantage of getting his picture :)

This is a pict of the girls with one of their favorite teachers.

Little Bits of Humor

Since I cant re-figure out how to post things to our "kids speak" tab, I want to post some things here before we forget them...

This has been an interesting week of things coming from little people and big people in our house. Hope you get as many laughs as we did!

Kels: "Mom, I am hungry, you need to make a DINNER plan" (this is our key phrase lately which usually results in pancakes, cereal, toast, or spaghetti. She would have been happy with any or all of those for breakfast)

Ky: (riding in the car with a friend) "Ew, what is that smell? It's John. John smells like green beans." Ky is NOT fond of green beans...

Ky: (him and me driving home from his karate class) "Mom, you can come to my birthday party, you are invited." Uh, thanx bud....good thing since we hosted it :)

Kels: (getting in the car yesterday AM, we heard a fire engine siren)
Kels: "Coyote!" (totally straight face, with head tilted and ears listening)
Me: WHAT!!!??? (eyes staring wide at this child and wondering where this girl came from)
Kels: "Coyote!" (with a look at me that said "duh!")
Me: "That is not a coyote, that is a fire engine!" (now laughing right out loud)
Kels: "fire engine" (totally straight faced, she shrugged her shoulders and got in the car)
What in the world? Thanx Diego.....Glad she is learning something from Nick Jr....

Interesting conversation between me/big girls, all of us who are extra, extra tired today, which always results in hysterical laughter and tears. We were sitting on the couch eating CHINESE food -

Kaeli: (in her best brogue, eating fried rice) "Mom, do Scottish men eat rice?
Me: "No, they eat Haggis!"
Kaeli: "What is Haggis?"
Me: (already laughing hysterically) "Do you really want to know?"
Ceana: "Do I WANT to know?
Me: "Sheep scrotum!" (now laughing so hard I have tears running down my face)
Ceana: (with her hands over her face) "Eww, gross! I probably should have said no, but you told me anyway."
Me: (laughing so hard I can hardly stand it) "Scottish men eat Haggis in KILTS!"
Ceana/Kaeli: (now also laughing hysterically, probably more at me than at our chat)
Ceana: "Eeewww! I am scarred for life!"
Kaeli: (in her very best, hard accent brogue) "Scottish men eat Haggis in KILTS!" (which made me laugh even harder, she nailed the accent right on!)

(OK, so I got my sheep parts mixed up - Haggis is actually sheep's lung, heart and liver - which BTW is actually banned in the US - and "Rocky Mountain Oysters" are the other part mentioned above, which BTW, you can find served in restaurants right in Portland! That's what I get for watching the Food Channel when it is way too late at night, and watching unusual shows about eating everything and anything) Just when you thought you knew everything about sheep huh? :)

Now Kaeli is saying the word Haggis, just to make me laugh. I am WAY overtired.
Kaeli: "HAGGIS!"
Ceana: "That is like a cuss word! Gross!" (Which made me laugh even harder)
Kaeli: (to Caiden who is wondering why all of us girls are in hysterics at the moment), pulled out an awesome movie quote from Disney's ATLANTIS that nailed it right on! (those of you who know us well, know we love pulling random movie quotes into conversations) Sweet to Milo: "Trust me on this one, you dont wanna know. Audrey, dont tell him, you shouldnt have told me, but you did, and now I'm telling you, you dont wanna know!" Works perfectly with the conversation between Ceana and Caiden!

Kels: "Mom, you need me."
Me: "What do I need you for?"
Kels: (arms held up to me) "You need to hold me."
Well...ok, cant resist that one...just make sure to not tell Dr Drew I lifted her to hold her...we sat in the chair with her snuggling and then we played "cat fight" with our extra long PJ sleeves over our hands with her giggling the whole time and giving Kaeli smug looks over my shoulder. Cant resist special little moments like these, esp after what a rough day all of us have had....

Hopefully all of us can actually get to bed on time tonight (which is highly improbable since Ky/Kels decided to finally crash late after all of their hysterics this afternoon) and we can hope that tomorrow will be more calm...

Thank goodness for little people who still help us find a reason to laugh amid all the the chaos that seems to reign these days....laughter is good for the soul.

Look Who Has Braces....

Kaeli's orthodontist finally decided that she is ready for braces. I was blown away at how much it changed her face, and how much more grown up she looks. I remember that happened with ceana too.

Kaeli just has her top braces on for now. She will get the bottom ones done soon. Her doctor's office is esp excited about kaeli participating in a new technology project. It is a project using robotics technology to bend and form all of the wires and bands for the braces. Images are taken of Kaeli's mouth and teeth and then the bands are bent and shaped perfectly by robotic technology. The office just had their very first patient using this technology get their braces off. The PR gal at the office said they were more than astounded - the teeth were perfect and it had taken 10 months off of the length of having to wear them. They have been ecstatic with the results. It is esp hopeful for Kaeli too and we cant wait to see her new smile!

LOCAL ELECTIONS

Preston has been heavily involved in local and state politics in recent months. One of those projects has been trying to run for the empty school board position for our zone. He has attended all the meetings, and then some. He has been in touch with board members and tried to encourage current board members to look to implement new changes and have a stronger voice. Part of the adventure was getting yard signs out in the community to try to encourage support. It ended up being much bigger of a project than anticipated and it took lots of time and energy. Thanx to several VERY generous campaign donations, we were able to get everything in place.

Even after all his hard work and efforts, tonight the final vote is in -and we are sad to see that he has lost by 300+ votes.

It is disappointing to know that all of the amazing ideas preston had may never be realized. Maybe he can pass them along to others to try to implement. It may be an interesting year come Fall with an interim superintendent that only wants partial involvement, and board members who may still not be strong enough to change policies and meet the needs of the community or their own stafff.
We want to say a great big THANK YOU to all of you who showed such support and whole heartedly gave Preston your votes! It means a great deal to know how many people care about him and about all of the good he works daily to achieve.

KY IS FIVE!

It is hard to believe that Ky is FIVE! He is such a big boy now and doing so many things.
Yesterday we surprised him with a party at our local aquatic center. It was a special party just for his little preschool class and our family.
He got SO many fun presents. All of his friends know him very well - he got extra fun games and LOTS of Hot Wheels cars stuff. He has been so cute since we brought them home. We have made a rule that you cant play with toys or open new presents until all of the thank you cards are written. He has been doing a couple at a time, and opening a couple presents at a time. It is just like birthday and Christmas rolled into one! He is loving all of his gifts and the boys spent hours in the TV room last night playing.

Ky decided for this party that he didnt want birthday cake - he wanted doughnuts! We picked out powdered doughnut holes for everyone's lunches and when we went to the store to let him pick out his special doughnut we found his favorite complete with sprinkles. Couldnt have planned it any better. Since we couldnt light the candle inside the pool area, we just put a candle in the doughnut and let him pretend while everyone sang to him. He was very cute. It will be fun to scrapbook all of the picts.

Since Ky's party was right after school, we did cute little sack lunches for all of the kids. Ky chose dino chkn nuggets, baby carrots, apple slices, cheese sticks, and doughnut holes. Since he turned 5, we put 5 of each thing (except the cheese stick) in little baggies for the kids' lunches. It ended up being perfect, and some of the kids even were able to share with younger siblings that came with the other moms. Kaeli put an extra special treat into the kids' bags - special coloring pages and crayons. She hunted online for the perfect pages for each of the kids. Kaeli single handedly did all the prep for Ky's party - she cooked, packed lunches, got things ready. She was an amazing help, and we would have never been able to do his cute party without her! Thank you sissy!!! you are the awesomerest!

The aquatic center has this wonderful little kidney shaped toddler pool. It was the perfect places for all the little people who attended the party. The kids got along really well for the most part, and there are tons of hysterical picts from them playing. I also tried to get video..will have to see how to figure out how to post those too. I think Ky really had a wonderful time playing with all of his friends and just having a special birthday outing. I am extra glad we made it work since it was the only 2hrs of the whole day that we were together as a family. It will be wonderful memories for all of us.

This is a pict of Ky's cute little preschool class. Preschool will be over at the end of this month already. It has been a wonderful year for Ky. He has a super awesome, wonderfully sweet teacher who has taught him amazing things, including learning to read already! He has loved every minute of being at school with his friends and I know he will miss it when it is over. Thank you to all of our preschool friends who joined us for Ky's birthday. An extra big thank you to Miss L for helping the kids get ready, bringing them to the pool, and for everything you have done for the kids this year!

Potty Happy Dance

Kels took a long nap today. When she woke up she asked me to change her diaper. About 2 minutes after I did, she came in to tell me she needed me to change her again, holding her bottom. I have finally figured out this is her cue that she knows she is going to poop. I hurried and stripped her down and plopped her on the potty, along with a bucket of books and a snack. She sat there contentedly long enough that I just left her. When she told Kaeli she wanted to get down, I told her to go ahead, worried that Kels still hadnt gone potty. Imagine my surprise when Kaeli informed me that she HAD used the potty! We all started doing what we have named our "potty happy dance" (never did it with the big kids but it sure works for Ky & Kels) After we got her off and dressed in a diaper, Kaeli rewarded her with her potty treat - a yummy cookie (again something we have only used with Ky)
She was SO excited that she had gone potty, and so were we. She proudly showed off her cookie and continued her happy dance. Gotta love that we may actually be getting close to being done with diapers forever. I wondered, knowing she is doing everything Ky is doing, if him finally learning to use the potty would get her going that direction too. It really may have been a fluke today, but we'll take it, and hope that we are on the road to seeing a pay raise in the family budget!

FUN WITH FOOD

We got the chance to actually have a sit down dinner tonight, all the kids and me. Kels thinks she is big stuff these days, so we gave her a big job. She set the table like a pro, even though it was the first time she has done it. When we decided on pancakes (it is turning out to be that kind of week) Kaeli jumped right on being in charge of cooking.
If I cook, I make regular, plain old boring circle pancakes, but when Kaeli is in the kitchen, they are never plain or regular, and it is always exciting.

The little kiddos were ecstatic when they found out Kaeli was making them pancakes. She surprised each of them with letters, Mickey Mouse ears for Caiden (we LOVED our time at Disneyland), a Wizards of Waverly Place wand for Colton, Tinkbell butterflies esp for Kels, and she even made Ky a racetrack! Dont know how she did it, she is just a miracle worker I tell you!

Kaeli surprised Ceana with a "prom dress" pancake in honor of attending another prom this weekend. She even sneaked it onto Ceana's plate. Ceana gave it a puzzled look, and then her eyes lit up, and out came her signature "aaawwww". Kaeli has been the recipient of Ceana's hugs alot lately. They are well deserved to a wonderful sissy who is always so thoughtful of others, and has a talent to know just what to give to make others happy. She also received lots of whoops and hollering from the little people during our mini FHE, they were thrilled with their surprises, and it was their way to show her. Way to go sissy for an awesomely successful and fun family dinner!

COLTON + WASP = OUCH!

We FINALLY got a sunny day - warm, no wind, perfect. I sent the kids out to the driveway to play with the sidewalk chalk. I was just getting ready to join them when the boys came in with Caiden saying something about a yellow jacket and Colton starting to go into hysterics. I pulled off Colton's sweatshirt to reveal large welts across his shoulders and his skin looking like a bad sunburn. I finally got the story from Caiden that somehow a yellow jacket had flown into Colton's sweatshirt, and by the time he saw it fly out that it had nailed Colton FIVE TIMES.

I felt so bad for him, and knowing the severe allergies that run in Preston's family, started checking Colton for breathing concerns, excessive swelling, etc. Thankfully, other than the stings, he seemed to be ok. It was all I could do to get him to lay down so I could help him. We started going through Kaeli's wallet looking for very old pennies. For any who dont know, the original, all copper pennies react to the venom in bee stings and somehow neutralize it. Kaeli found some and held them on Colton's shoulders while I made a baking soda paste.

We got that on and got him mostly settled - until we tried to go back outside. He went into complete hysterics again. There was no way whatsoever that he was going back outside. The whole experience really threw him, esp that he is already my extra sensitive one, and my emotional one. His special needs seem to heighten every experience he has. This did so in a very negative way. I had to talk with him to calm him, promising that he would be safe and that I wouldnt let anything happen to him. I finally got him to come outside with me and sit on my lap for just a few minutes. Ever since then, he has jumped at every little thing that brushes past him, flips out over every single bug, even the ones that he usually enjoys and knows cant hurt him. I think it is going to be a very long time before he will settle down. It could be a really challenging Summer....

On a good note, his karate instructor gave him THREE red stars for courage. Normally, the kids will get 1 for showing valor or courage outside of class. Apparently his instructor dislikes bees and such so badly (maybe personal experiences) that he was really empathizing with Colton and gave him extra rewards for being courageous for going back outside after everything happened. Colton was very happy and proud.

A Heart That Is Cold

I have been beyond struggling recently. My heart just seems to be a rock in my chest, cold and full of sorrow. Most days I am on the verge of tears, over everything, and barely hold them back. Often I cant, and there are a myriad of reasons for all the tears that flow.

I often feel like I am beyond any help or that I even deserve it. I have dug my own holes, and I deserve to lay in them.

Sundays are always hard for me. Extra hard without Preston here with us. I have missed him dreadfully. I think I have made a resolve to never go back to RS ever again. There is so much I want to contribute, except every time that I open my mouth, completely useless, senseless stuff spews from me. I know it is unkind to say, but there is one sister in our ward who makes me cringe every time she says anything. I am sure she is a wealth of knowledge, she just goes about sharing it in not very nice ways. I often wonder if all of the sisters feel the same way about me....Every attempt to do or be just fails miserably....and I know that it just makes the chasm that much deeper and wider.

The weather doesnt help. I look out the window at gray-black skies, and the wind is gusting and the temperatures have dropped again so that we need the heater back on.

Not sleeping at all is also not helping. Nights have been reduced once again to little snippets of sleep that are constantly filled with vivid nightmares. Even using all the techniques given by my specialists are not seeing needed results. I often wake, still on my side, with my throat sore and my heart pounding. Even more restrictions are going to be added from my PT specialist, which may not let me sleep at all. We have run out of so many options, I know it has been as frustrating to my sleep specialist as it is to me. Today I had needles painfully poked into my toes at my acupuncture appt hoping to at least resolve the nightmares, if not the whole sleep thing. Will be hoping to see some change.

This past week has been a long week of anniversaries for me too. My unconscious and conscious brain have made these anniversaries known by my hand, that has been long healed, breaking out in blisters that itch like my hand is on fire. An anniversary of baptism and days and weeks filled with trauma to the point of very little memories of those days and weeks surrounding that event. An anniversary of life changing events that changed my name forever, and broke family ties that may never be healed. An annual holiday that my brain, and past experiences, tell me that it is for everyone else but me. That it will never be for me.

Listening to conference talks today, several touched on how I have been feeling. I knew that as a speaker talked about a heart filled with sorrow, remorse, anger, bitterness, guilt that he was specifically talking about me. That his call to repentance, to turn to local church leaders, to seek forgiveness from others and the Savior are all things that are not happening. Repentance means changing from bad behavior to good. There has been so much in the past, so much that continues to almost be as raw today as when things happened. It still often physically, mentally, emotionally hurts. I am not to a place yet where I can forgive, and not sure when that will be. I have tried to seek out local help, those who I have sought do not have time for me. Why should they, everything else is more important that pitiful little me. I cannot ask forgiveness of others because I do not deserve it, not from them, and esp not from the Savior. I have continued to fail, even to the point of now having precious gifts and talents taken from me, and that I may never earn back again. The just consequences of my inabilities and failures. The conference talk went on to talk about suffering for our own sins. Again, wouldnt that be the just punishment for failure, judgement and non-forgiveness, for not being willing or able to do those things now?

I keep hoping to see some kind of change in the garden by the sea. It still stands empty and barren. It reflects my heart - empty, lonely, forsaken, broken.