30 Day Challenge - DAY 2

Day 2 - Explain the meaning behind your blog name:

With 6 kiddos (yes, that's right I said SIX, ages 2,4, 7, 10, 13 & almost 16), 2 spazzy dogs and canibal fish, our house is a daily circus. We needed something fun that would truly express our daily life.

There are 8 of us now, we are complete, unless Heavenly Father tells us otherwise.We are constantly doing a juggling act of keeping a schedule and balance in life with all the craziness of dr and specialist appts, errands, school at home, military, work, church callings, etc. We find ourselves trying to keep each adventure, and mis-adventure, in some kind of organized chaos.

I do not do it alone - the girls and Preston are helping me keep many circles going all at the same time. They are the ones that allow me see to and try to find answers to Colton's and my own health needs, keep little kiddos fed and clothed (even if that means diapers and shoes, and PBJ tortillas AGAIN), keep the the couch stacked with piles of clean clothes (hey, it could be piles of dirty clothes..), along with trying to accomplish daily school assignments amid little people running and screaming through the house, and trying to find time to spend with friends, or just a moment of peace and quiet to themselves.
I am also still learning, and trying to remember every day that Heavenly Father is watching over our circles and all of our chaos, and that He is the ultimate "ring leader". It has been a long journey of learning on my part, I often try to run the whole circus by myself. I have to sometimes be compelled to sit back and watch, or let go of all the distractions that keep me from seeing or remembering that I am just a "roustabout" and here to take directions from Heavenly Father to keep things running smoothly from day to day. It is a life-long learning process.

Often our balancing act is on the verge of toppling over, other days we keep many circles and adventures running smoothly. Together we are trying to the best we can each day, taking just one day (or even 1 hour) at a time. Our circus, though often chaotic and crazy, is our family adventure. Together we are learning to balance each act and adventure as it comes. Together we are battling life's lions, keeping all the plates spinning, keeping each other safe and supported when flying or falling, and watching for all the little moments to clown around. We are trying to remember to dance to the music of life and enjoy the journey. Life is a circus, but what a wonderful show it is!

30 Day Challenge - DAY 1

Day 1 - Post a recent picture and 15 interesting facts of yourself:

1 - I have very vivid REM sleep, and dream in color
2- My pet peeve when driving is when people pull out right in front of me, when there are no other cars in sight
3- I miss taking ASL classes and using it all the time like we did when Colton was tiny
4- I LOVE being behind a camera, but not in front of it
5- Sometimes when I dream at night, I can fly, sing beautifully, and ice skate like an Olympian - ahh, maybe someday...
6- My body is often a medical mystery...
7- I like to eat Twinkies and Kit Kats only if they are frozen
8-I am TERRIFIED of snakes, can't even look at a pict of them without almost throwing up
9- I am the spider/bug killer at our house
10- I am a visual learner
11- I love the sound of rain and ocean waves
12- I really enjoy trying and eating foreign foods
13- I don't do well with heights
14- I hope that someday I will learn to play the piano and the language of music
15-Because of hereditary genes, if I didnt color my hair, I would have had completely white-gray hair 15+ years ago

30 Day Challenge

I saw a fun challenge on a friend's blog and thought it would be fun to give it a try. I am not sure I will be able to do the 30 days in a row since we will be gone a bit for vacation, but I am going to give it a good try. It would be fun to also see what others' post too - so here is the whole thing -

day 1- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
day 2- The meaning behind your blog name.
day 3- A picture of you and your friends.
day 4- A habit that you wish you didn't have.
day 5- A picture of somewhere you've been to.
day 6- Your favorite super hero and why.
day 7- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
day 8- Short term goals for this month and why.
day 9- Something you're proud of in the past few days.
day 10- Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad.
day 11- Another picture of you and your friends.
day 12- How you found out about blogger and why you have a blog.
day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
day 14- A picture of you and your family.
day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play.
day 16- Another picture of yourself.
day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
day 19- Nicknames you have and why you have them.
day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future.
day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
day 23- Something you crave a lot.
day 24- A letter to your parents.
day 25- What I would find in your bag.
day 26- What do you think about your friends.
day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge.
day 28- A picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- In this past month, what have you learned.
day 30- Your favorite song.

You Have 30 Seconds...

I am not even sure who is looking at this anymore, but I am going to do a couple of posts to see if I can get some fun feedback.

I am part of a small business association. In our meetings each week we get to give a 30 second "commercial" about our businesses. It is a fun way to share about what we do and the kind of clients that we are looking for.

I thought it would be fun to see what other people think of me and my work. So, here is the challenge. Please respond with a 30 sec "commercial" about me, my work, my business. You can be creative and honest. I am going to throw in an extra incentive too - if I use your "commerical" in one of my meetings I will send you a fun photo fine art gift as a thanx!

I will look forward to reading all of your fun responses!

What I Learned from TOFW

This past weekend I was invited to spend a wonderful 2 days at Time Out For Women with a very good friend and her family. I can't even begin to describe all of the laughter, tears, and inspiration that this experience brought. I am going to include some stuff here. I may add more soon too. For now, though, these are some of the things I learned this weekend:

Going out to dinner and to a women's conference with a bunch of AMAZING ladies is a great way to spend an evening!
Michael McClean is an AWESOME performer and even better in person! So is Hillary Weeks - and she is SO gorgeous! They are both also very inspiring and funny:
Things I learned from MM:
1) His voice is STILL the same after all these years, so incredible
2)According to his mom, there is only one problem in life - there is no background music!Where is the mood music when you really need it?
3)It is perfectly ok (and a season of life everyone has) to have Family Home Moments and children whose names are "Gimme, Lemme Have It, and Smine!"
4)Happiness isnt something that awaits us, it is here right now in the magic of every moment
5)Watch for unexpected gifts, and be in tune with the spirt in the moment and find the little things that make you smile
6) It is ok to try again, to try something new, to just keep trying. (Personal inspiration DOES come, even in the midst of 2700 women, more to be journaled soon)

Things I learned from HW:
1) When the spirit speaks, obey with exactness (hilarious story about a store bought chicken)
2) Heavenly Father knows us and will be willing to be as much of a part of our life as we will LET Him, in things big and small
3) There is a funny song for every season of life: (housework, teenagers, whining little peeps)
(Ode to Laundry) "Climb every mountain, sort every load. If you're alive and breathing, there are clothes to fold"
4) We forget about the good things we've done, the tiny victories, the good changes we've made. He looks on the heart and fills in the missing pieces. He won't forget what we have done. As the day comes to a close, look through the mirror of His love and He will show us all the good we have done.
5) The Savior gives and takes - He gives peace and takes heartaches
6) When you get in over your head, if you give everything you can, He will take what you can offer and magnify and multiply His help, and our blessings.
7) Remember to show gratitude for all the little things you can, and do, give, and for all of the great things that Heavenly Father can do with those little things. "Through small and simple things, great things shall come to pass"
8) Do not notice the gifts you don't have, but notice and show gratitude for gifts you have been given. To be able to appreciate and to say & show gratitude for OTHERS' gifts is a special gift too. (just for me)
When you are among your sisters, no one cares if you have make up on or have your hair done, everyone is just happy to be together

Feeling welcome, included and loved by women who were once strangers, but are now sisters, is one of the best feelings in the world!

Things I learned from Ardeth Kapp:
1) When you have hope in your heart, things look a little bit different
2) I have a photographic memory, just not same day delivery
3) You can't go back and make a brand new start, my friend. But you can start from here and make a brand new end.
4) Faith in place of fear, Hope in place of heartache, Charity in place of contention
5) The scriptures are like letters from hme with a personal message to help us rejoice
6) D&C 6, Alma 37:37
7) Selective Neglect - I select the things I am going to neglect so I dont neglect the things that I select (choosing good, better, best)
8) Hope gives us eternal perspective and courage

Things I learned from Mark Mabry (Reflections of Christ)
1) I need to know the BofM better. How do I feel, how does it apply to me?
2) The touch of a woman is possibly the most powerful thing to a man (or child)
3) I know that my husband (and the Savior) love me because they know the worst things about me, and yet they are still here
4) Find the courage and hope to "put it all out there" to the Lord and He will help make life that much better and you will find the power in yourself that has been dormant
5) 3 Nephi 17

Things I learned from Merilee Boyack
1) Think of trials and challenges as "Strengthening Opportunities"
2) Choose to have a positive attitude - when all else is out of control, the only thing you have in your control is your attitude
3) Choose to be cheerful - a good, positive attitude can physically save your life.
4) Choose to have hope in God and to trust in His will - Pres Uchdorf "...He will answer our prayers perfectly and in the perfect time...", Elder Holland "...attitude can open or close the doors to help..."
5) Choose to be faithful - look to the scriptures for examples (abraham, JS) and hold on no matter what. Remember the things that you do know, and that will be enough
6) Choose to accept suffering - there are things to be learned that can't be learned any other way. It is the best way to become who He needs me to be. I can learn more empathy for the Savior's purpose and to purify heart and soul. Suffering should not be an unwelcome thing
7) Choose to be grateful - your attitude directly effects your physical healing. Take every opportunity to show gratitude for every little thing. He will bring joy to your life and a bounce to your step
8) Choose to let Him bear our burdens - He can give us more than we can handle so that we will turn to Him, so we will go to Him. When we are done and we can't handle any more, He reminds us that we aren't supposed to handle it all. Burdens will not be removed, but they will be made bearable.
8) Choices should be motivated by the love of the Savior, with wisdom and gentleness

Things I learned from Emily Watts
1) Thank goodness for smart alec questions and the gift of laughter
2) We all have the capacity to plan, but brain cells die, and the one word that makes them die is "mom" (esp when repeated a gazillion times and in ever increasing octaves)
3) It's been lovely, but I have to scream NOW!
4) It is ok to abandon some hopes - sleep, being in charge of yourself, not have nice things, etc (but it is also ok to mourn these things as you work through seasons of life)
5) Always keep Mother Hopes -
a)children CAN improve, grow and progress - the days do fly by, even when moments seem very long. It is the little things that matter, kiddos do learn and grow.
b)a mother's work is eternal and important - faith is believing a principle is true. Hope is believing that the principle applies to me. It is not about you, you are a part of the chain of eternity. A mother's love and work is a job for all, not just one
c)Heavenly Father will help you do your "mother's work" - don't get locked inot a certain way to work, situations and kiddos will come that will defy all the rules. Turn it over to Him, and LEAVE it with Him and He will tell you and give you what you need when it is needed. He helps in ways that are EXACTLY suited to you, your situation, concern and moments

Things I learned from Kris Belcher
1)Laughing so hard that your jaws and stomach hurt and you have tears running down your face is good for the soul
2) Heavenly Father loves us so much that he puts exceptional people in our path
3) Our trials are not trivial or insignificant, they are opportunities to grow, they are specific and personal to US
4) Strive for "Thy will be done", ask His will and then be courageous enough to live it
5) Find the courage to give the Lord your heart, mind, life, but most important your will
6) You can physically and emotionally be a mess, and still hold on. It can take a long time to heal, and it is OK to mourn
7)If we feel the Lord's warmth and light on our face, we know that we are headed in the right direction. If we feel it on our back, we need to make a course correction.
8)
L - Christ is the God of LOVE
I - Christ is the God of INTELLIGENCE
G - Christ is the God of GRACE
H - Christ is the God of HOPE
T - Christ is the God of TRUTH
9)It is ok to let worries go, to stop trying to do everything, to learn to laugh and find joy

Things I learned from Michael Wilcox
1) Look past the walls and giants and focus on the bounty of the fruit and bounty
2) Trials and challenges are sent or used by Heavenly Father to face our "Goliath's" in life
3) An exquisite sunset heralds the joys and bounties of the day. It brings with it the opportunity for rest and respite from the labors and trials of the day. It brings the promise that light wil come and will bring a new day, unfilled and unwritten. A sunset is a gift, it is part of life's eternal circle
4) D&C 88

Things I learned from Mariama Kallon
1) We live in a choice land and we are wealthy beyond our wildest dreams, no matter our current circumstances
2) Open your heart and let His will be done
3) 2 Nephi 4:26-30, D&C 84:87-88, D&C 31:1-6

Hello World from Ceana

So...hi this is Ceana! Just wanted to let you know that I have a blog of my very own! Here is the URL.

http://theultimatelifelover.blogspot.com/

The only way you can see it is if you have been invited to it, so if you would like to be able to read it (if you already can't) send me an email/fb message/call me :) and I will see what I can do. Thanks!

2010 Trunk Or Treat

Kels was given a "new" dress from a friend and we found her some wings and a hair ribbon wreath. She told me that she was tinkbelle bugfly. Pretty funny. She got VERY attached to her wings and they still have not been put away with the holiday stuff. The other day she announced that she was BATMAN!!! and attempted to "fly" off the furniture with her brothers...I may have to put her wings away very soon before we end up with her breaking more than her wings...
Kaeli spent LOTS of time working on the perfect costume for Ky. He is still in love with anything that has to do with CARS. She found a box and made it into Lightning McQueen for him and then we decked him out in all of his Lightning clothes top-bottom (hat, glasses, PJ's, socks) and topped it all off with his new favorite shoes - cowboy boots. He was hysterical and he was so fun to watch as he enjoyed his costume to the max this year. We were all sad that it got wet in the rain and really was a "one-time only" costume...

Colton was excited to be Superman this year - again, thankfully easy piece of cake costume - his favorite T-shirt and borrowing Ky's bday cape. He was all set to go.

GO PANTHERS!!! Ceana wanted to show her other "school" spirit by getting as many layers of black, red and white as she could. She did a pretty good job too.

Trunk or Treat night always starts out with a children's costume parade in the gym. This year the parade was pretty long - LOTS of families from our wards and the community joined in all the fun.

Kaeli decided to be "M&M Girl" - she wrapped one of her favorite blankets around her shoulders and called it good. She devoted all of her time on making Ky's costume that she chose not to do anything for herself. Kels was stuck to her like glue for the night. She had so much fun but had to make sure her "sissy" was right there with her.

The kids had a total blast this year in spite of the rain that decided to do its thing in the one hour window we were outside (no rain most of the day, no rain from time activity was over for rest of the night) Ky was esp excited to see and get treats from his preschool/primary teacher. he adores her and is loving every minute of being in "big school" with her. He was excited to show off his treats and full bucket to me.

Caiden "volunteered" himself to be Preston's helper with candy this year because he chose to not make the best decisions with his behavior, attitude or language, and ended up blowing all of his privileges during the week. I am hoping it was a lesson well learned and that he will someday understand why right now I am the "mean mom" of the world...

I took a turn with the little peeps so the big girls could have some time just to themselves for big girl stuff, esp since Tori was able to come to be with Ceana for the evening.
It was fun to just take some picts of the haul the kids brought home. There was such a good turnout this year that the kids' buckets were overflowing. Ky ended up having me carry his bucket so that he could carry more candy in his hands. It was pretty funny.
Our usual tradition is to dump out all the goodies onto the middle of the table and let the kids each pick what they want to eat. Colton took full advantage of that this year and ate way more than he was supposed to. It was fun having Kels old enough this year to really "get it" and understand that she got to pick and eat lots of yummy treats.
Something the kids thought extra funny this year was Preston's need to "organize" all the candy into piles. Ceana got in on the fun and soon all the "we are keeping" piles were organized into neat little piles far away from the "we will never eat these" piles. Although, some of that did get pilfered this year because Preston and Ceana discovered a package of "exploding candy" (ie pop rocks) and several other "retro" candies that got eaten up that night. The rest of the candy got put into baggies and "hidden" in the freezer. We usually freeze all of the choc stuff to use for baking projects or for special activities or travel. My hiding place was apparently not good enough this year though because it has been largely diminished by kids hungry for sweeties. The other candy has been taken to Preston's work or will be given to bishop for his Sunday kiddo treat give away.

Rory Dr Update

Just got a phone call from new dr office. We missed the window for 3 specific blood tests she wants because they didn’t have my records – uugghh – and because of vacation I am going to have to wait until Dec to take them - which may cause the results to be completely different than they would have been Friday (which was our window and didn’t get any bloodwork done when I was there because of not having info and records)

They did access my archived records. My results from those tests, along with my current concerns, still lead her to believe that I have re-ocurring issues going. It looks like my adrenal and cortisol levels are insufficient and imbalanced again, possibly severely. She would like me to start a new supplement to try to help balance some things. Still waiting to see if I really do need that other one she recommended last week – with it being SO expensive, I am almost hoping she will decide I don’t need it right now. I will also be scheduled for a follow up appt next month. Although that may be delayed if she was wanting that appt to follow up lab work that is now going to have to wait…

Sounds like from the conversation I had on the phone with the nurse that CFS is a given. Will really have to wait to see what levels of those bloodtests are to confirm markers of current symptoms. I am concerned though that they will not show true current results if they are done after I have been on supplements and things....frustrating to know that I was right there in the office and missed the window because they couldnt have immediate access to my records.

On a positive note there is a good chance that the fibromyalsia may not be a true concern. Again, we will have to wait until future appts and tests, but that would be an extra blessing amidst all the current health concerns.

Guess that is all for now – will send more updates and info when I have it