I think I am about done in with all the battles with my 7 year old....it has been another one of those days with only 1 calm day in whole the entire last week. Today I even got a door slam and a "stupid mom" screamed from the top of his lungs...
I am about in tears today for want of something to do with/about him. His behavior has become increasingly worse during the summer. We have had to let go of 2 of his specialist services during the summer, and that may be part of it. We are working weekly, and sometimes more often with 2 of his health specialists knowing that his health has alot to do with his behavior - we saw one of them today - and still he has been ballistic since we got back...
What is hardest for me is his continued down hill slide to complete rebellion against me and anything he is asked to do. He would rather choose to be on the rampage (resulting in time out and usually loss of all privileges) than to do the small task that he has been asked to do.
Example - Each of the kids is asked to do 5 things each morning 1) morning jobs (eat/get dressed) 2) House chores (30 min) 3) music (30 min) 4)school (30 min) 5) scripture study (30 min) They also get to plan for an exercise of choice which has no time limit - The other 5 things should take about 2.5hrs max. Today, my child has not been able to get past the house chores - instead choosing to stomp, kick, scream, tantrum, talk back, etc and has wasted WAY more than the 30 minutes of time asked to spend. He has also missed lunch because he cant stay calm enough to be safe around his siblings or me.
We get into these cycles often. It has been awhile since it has been this bad though. It doesnt seem to matter at all whether I offer rewards or punishment - we have tried chore charts, him choosing rewards, me choosing, me taking everything away. Still the intensity continues to increase. His behavior has prevented us from family outings at times because I cant take other kids and leave them and stay home with him.
I am really at a loss as to what else I can do that I am not already doing. I am worried about Fall when we know he will have surgeries and having to try to stay on top of school stuff. We are on an IEP already because of behavior and will probably add medical concerns to the mix. I am so wanting to start things off right, but at this point things continue to go the wrong direction....
This last week, and again today, I feel like a huge failure - with the 3 youngest, but esp with my 7 yr old....just dont know what to do...
2 comments:
I know it doesn't help right now, but Caiden used to drive you to tears in much the same way. Colton will come around, too. Eventually he will "get it" and become the helper you need him to be ... just in time for Kylan's antics to drive you to tears.
Hang in there Rory. I would give you advice, but honestly you are already doing everything I'd suggest. Know that you are a great mom and he will grow up and things will improve. Just keep plugging along doing what you think is best for you and your family. He will come along sooner or later, but he will come along. Soon those tears of frustration will be tears of joy.
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